Thursday, Feb 14

8:00 ABC A CHARLIE BROWN VALENTINE

Who could ever love YOU, Charlie Brown? You're ugly! And bald! And... wanna kick this football?


Friday, Feb 15

8:00 FOX AMERICAN PIE--Movie

(1999) Boy meets pie, boy has sex with pie, audience loses appetite for pie.

10:00 ABC THE IN-CROWD

AND SOCIAL CRUELTY

An ABC special report on unpopular kids who are subjected to "bullying, isolation, and marred identity." Ha! Ha! I always wondered what happened to those nerds!


Saturday, Feb 16

8:00 UPN DIRTY HARRY--Movie

(1971) Clint Eastwood stars as an L.A. cop back in the days when it was cool to indiscriminately kill people.


Sunday, Feb 17

8:00 MTV MARDI GRAS 2002

"The Drunken Student Channel" broadcasts this booby-flashing special.


Monday, Feb 18

8:00 TBS TOP GUN--Movie

(1986) Tom Cruise defends his country by playing shirtless beach volleyball.


Tuesday, Feb 19

10:00 ANI AMAZING ANIMAL VIDEOS

Animal couplings that defy God's laws: crow and kitten, duck and dog, and (gasp!) dachshund and cordless phone!


Wednesday, Feb 20

9:00 HBO SIX FEET UNDER

David attends a mortician's convention in Las Vegas and gets busted by the cops for banging a male hooker!!

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