Rush Hour 2
dir. Brett Ratner
Now playing at various theaters.

The most interesting thing about Rush Hour 2 may be the fact that any criticisms I, or any other "critic" may have about the film are rendered completely useless by the sheer perfection of the film's formula. This formula, already tried and true after only two outings here in America, breaks down like this:

Jackie Chan + Wisecracking Partner -- Necessary Plot + Spectacular Fights = $$$.

In other words, if you team Jackie up with someone funny (Chris Tucker in the first Rush Hour, Owen Wilson in Shanghai Noon), the result will undoubtedly make a shitload of money. It will also be entertaining--not Dr. Strangelove entertaining (i.e., brilliant), but entertaining enough--and therefore any words I may hack together about it are completely worthless. So I won't even bother, save for one simple (and poorly written) sentence: Rush Hour 2 is bigger, and dumber, than the first Rush Hour, but it is also funnier and more entertaining.

And with that, I shall fill up the rest of this review's allotted space with the lyrics to David Bowie's "China Girl" (written by Iggy Pop):

I could escape this feeling with my China Girl
I feel a wreck without my little China Girl
I hear her heart beating, loud as thunder
Saw they stars crashing
I'm a mess without my little China Girl
Wake up mornings, where's my little China Girl?
I hear her heart's beating, loud as thunder
Saw they stars crashing down
I feel a-tragic like I'm Marlon Brando
When I look at my China Girl
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much
When I look at my China Girl
I stumble into town just like a sacred cow
Visions of swastikas in my head
Plans for everyone
It's in the whites of my eyes
My little China Girl
You shouldn't mess with me
I'll ruin everything you are
I'll give you television
I'll give you eyes of blue
I'll give you men who want to rule the world
And when I get excited
My little China Girl says
"Oh baby, just you shut your mouth"
She says... sh-sh-shhh....

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