Q13 "HOT TAMALE" RON CORNING
has star quality all right... but what's he like when he's away from the camera's gaze? Corning-head Rachelle
spotted Ron at the Wallingford QFC
, and (duh!) couldn't take her eyes off him as he headed to the parking lot. But her crush turned to horror when she saw hunky Ron's big honkin' SUV
in a HANDICAPPED SPACE!!
Rachelle spouts, "I was SO MAD!! Who does he think he is?
" Then, in a delightful, once-in-a-lifetime twist of fate, one of Seattle's finest
arrived on the scene to write up the hoity-toity hottie! Red-faced Ron protested, "Officer, excuse me--I parked here because my mother is handicapped." (WHA--?? The NERVE!
) The hard-boiled cop--who has obviously seen his share of TV riff-raff--rolled his eyes and quipped, "Too bad you didn't bring her with you." (Right on!) TV man: "I have a decal right here, from Maine." Officer: "Uh-huh. Too bad it's not from Washington." (YES!! This is SOOO delicious
!) The disillusioned Rachelle was about to shout something "really mean" before driving off--when here comes the sainted Mother Corning
, puttering out of the QFC in a motorized grocery-mobile
! The now-vindicated Ronnie says to his dear mother, "I guess we're getting a ticket." Mother C starts telling the officer (sniff!) how she can't walk very well, but she's trying
(choke--sniff, sniff!), and explains how her son moved her out here to a nursing home (sniff!) because she had a bad fall (wah...) and a head injury (wah-h-h...), and is trying
to get better (BBAAAWWWWWWW!! Oh, this is SOOO... SWEEEET! Sob, sob...). Before it was over the officer was helping Mother into Ron's big 4x4, with a step-stool Ron keeps in the back, just for her
. You could tell the officer was a little embarrassed. But Ron--who by the way is an angel--graciously offers, "I understand, you're just doing your job. I'll be sure to get a Washington state decal." Oh Ron! All those drooling TV fans--they're right after all! Rachelle sums it up thusly: "He lived up to this TV ideal, and then some. I just want to wash his back, and feed him grapes
. You know what I mean?" Yes Rachelle, I do. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR SAINTED MOTHER, RON CORNING!!
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MEANWHILE, BACK ON EARTH: KOMO-4 news anchor Dan Lewis (you know, the one with the super-sized cranium?) was spotted livin' it up at Lake Tahoe's own Squaw Valley last weekend--with a "cutesy, much younger" gal-pal. According to my astute spies, they were "very touchy-feely, and giggling the whole way!" · · · Seen Sat 7/3 at the Factoria Nordstrom Rack: tall, lovely, and pregnant (?) KIRO-7 news anchor Joyce Taylor! Joyce, who was "sweet as pie," was piloting a full shopping cart! No wonder she's on a first-name basis with the whole Rack staff!
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HOMEBOYS & GIRLS: Lisa spotted much-missed ex-Entercom radio personality Pat Cashman--who's too interesting for 100.7 "the Buzz," but is just uninteresting enough for Almost Live--at the AT&T Wireless building on Eastlake, looking none too happy. Don't worry, Pat--that telemarketing position wasn't right for you anyway. · · · Despite the gray weather, a very tanned Ron Reagan, Jr. was spotted at Fremont Gardens buying a box of basil plants. Hey Ron: I hear a telemarketing position just opened up at AT&T! (Gotta do what we can to keep those Reagans out of trouble.)
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Everyone seems to know who the klepto TV newscaster is, but no one can give me any solid leads... keep digging! Shirley@thestranger.com, or 323-7101 ext. 3137.