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NOW, YOU'D THINK that a couple of feminist fitness dynamos like Sandra and Susan Powter would be like two peas in a pod--but that's not what I hear!! On Thurs 3/11 Powtie was spotted in the ($25) "cheap seats" at the Moore for Bernhard's show, with two kids and a "geeky-looking fat-assed bearded fellow." (Not Paul Allen.) Once the show started, stingy Sue snuck her whole gang down to the $35 section! ANYWAY, as my friend Sam says, "During the show she seldom laughed and rarely clapped, while her children loved the night's entertainment. When the audience went into a standing ovation, alas, Miss Powter did not stand--in fact, SHE DIDN'T EVEN APPLAUD! She brusquely carted her family out before the brilliant Miss Sandra took her last bows! Plus, if you ask me... SHE LOOKED FAT!" Mee-yow, my friend, mee-yow!!
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BUT! AN EVEN BIGGER CELEB was in the house that night: none other than the Money Tree's Caterpillar Bob. We've all (admit it!) seen Bob on those popular Money Tree TV commercials as their caterpillar mascot; tonight--unlike Susie P.--he was "thoroughly enjoying every delightful moment of Sandra Bernhard's fine performance." And yes, he managed to fit his fat caterpillar ass into the seat just fine, thank you.
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BILL & MELINDA GATES were once again seen slumming with the common folk at the movies, on Sun 3/14: the 5 pm showing of (stoopid Mike Judge comedy) Office Space at Pacific Place Cinema, to be precise. Larry, the former MS temp who spotted them, "wasn't sure if Bill realized how much the film echoed life at Microsoft." Like the rest of us, Larry wants to know what kind of physical or mental dysfunction "kept Bill rocking back and forth" all damn night. Maybe there's something about that in Gatesy's new book. But I doubt it.
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AND GUESS WHO stopped by the Cuff Sat night 3/13, before moving on to Neighbours? You guessed it: our TV newsman friend Mr. X, "drunk as a skunk, and smelling just as bad."
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MOVE OVER, SHOVY McSCHWARZ, here comes Richard Conlin! Our mild-mannered City Councilman rocked the Rainier Ave QFC like a hurricane last week. An informant tells me, "He almost hit a couple of tough-looking high school boys on his way into the parking lot, and they looked like they wanted to beat the shit out of him!" Once inside, Ricky McRocket bought some smelly foreign cheese and a jug of wine... which he stuffed in his own "P.C." canvas shopping bag. Naturally.
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CONFIDENTIAL TO JOHN CURLEY (the Evening Magazine John Curley, that is): Put some curtains on your upstairs windows! People--for example, roofers working on a neighbor's house--can see you walking around naked in there. (P.S. I keep wanting to leave you alone, but damn you, you won't let me!)
Thanks, pals... and keep those rumors coming!
Your humble gossip servant,
