It's strange that Ashlee Simpson—she of the SNL fiasco and Orange Bowl disaster and WB network star—is playing the relatively intimate Showbox this week (Thurs Sept 22). After all, she's supposedly some sort of unstoppable pop superforce, so shouldn't she be at KeyArena, or the very least, playing the Paramount? She was listed as number 76 on Forbes's top 100 celebrities list earlier this year (beating out Dave Chappelle and Emeril Lagasse). Her debut record, Autobiography, has gone multi-platinum since being released last year. And yet she's at the Showbox? We could only be so lucky to have her in such cozy confines. To commemorate this occasion, I've whipped up a little quiz. Simply read the questions below and choose the answer that best suits you. When finished, the key below will tell you which Ashlee hit best represents you based on your answers. So I ask, which Ashlee Simpson song are you?

1. What do you usually do after school?

a) "On Monday, I'm waiting. On Tuesday, I'm fading. On Wednesday, I can't sleep."

b) Put on my French maid's outfit and lap up milk like a kitten.

c) Call bullshit on snotty girls (like Lindsay Lohan!) who spread vicious rumors about me.

d) Using a hairbrush as a microphone, I sing along to artists that will forever be more legit that I am.

2. What is your idea of the perfect date?

a) Spending time with someone who really understands "all the pieces, the pieces, the pieces of me."b) Anything that makes me scream. I like it better when it hurts.c) "Don't put words up in my mouth, I didn't steal your boyfriend!"d) Karaoke.

3. What would you do if you were embarrassed on live national television?

a) The hoedown. And then blame the drummer.b) Blame any off-key, deafening screeching on the wireless monitor.c) Claim, "Hollywood sucks you in, but it won't spit me out."d) Play victim and say my dad/manager made me do it.

4. How would you cope with being the overlooked little sister?

a) Get my own reality show, record contract, Claire's jewelry line, and ThermaSilk sponsorship.b) Show the world that I'm not the generic pop star she is by dying my hair black and adding rock guitar (via ProTools) to my songs.c) Dye my hair from blond to black and back to blond, turning up the guitars louder with each record.d) Pretend to be someone else.

If you answered mostly A's, you're Ashlee's first single "Pieces of Me." If you answered mostly B's, you're the overtly sexed-up and infamous "La La." If you answered mostly C's, you're the new single "I Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend," from her upcoming record I Am Me. And if you answered mostly D's, you're Ashlee's wretched attempt to cover Blondie's "Call Me," which she's been known to play at her shows. MEGAN SELING