MORRISSEY
(Paramount Theater) Go ahead. Crucify me. But-here we go-the last time Morrissey graced our fair city, his performance left me cold. It seemed so uninspired. It also made me think that maybe self-pity and aging gracefully are two mutually exclusive concepts. Don't get me wrong: The man is responsible for some works of pure genius and should probably be sainted for the comfort and solace that his music has given to countless disaffected teens. And I'm fully aware that nothing I say will dissuade the loyal from going and laying their gifts at the foot of their idol. I'm just saying that I expect more from my icons. BARBARA MITCHELL

MARK FARINA
(ARO.space) Another Frisco kid headed our way. Hardly a kid, though-this guy's been around a while. A celebrated S.F. hard house DJ for years, Farina finally hit it big on the national scene in '96 with his downtempo, triphoppy Mushroom Jazz (soundtrack to many a comedown). Tonight's venue won't be providing couches, however, so I imagine the records he brings out will be more along the lines of Vivarin than Excedrin PM. No Detroit Rock City here, though; with a label name like Om, expect some pretty deep West Coast sounds. LEAH GREENBLATT

SAGE/EUREKA FARM
(Crocodile) A long-ass time ago, back in the good old 20th century, there was a band named Sage who played "muso-rock explorations." Seattle music scene dinosaurs seem to vaguely remember maybe seeing them once or something-and, you know, Marc Olsen's in it, so it's gotta be good. ERIN FRANZMAN

ELIADES OCHOA & CUARTETO PATRIA/

SISTERS FERRIN
(Showbox) A steadily successful musician/singer since the age of 11, the 50-something Eliades Ochoa is widely considered the finest Cuban-roots guitarist of his generation. Likewise, Cuarteto Patria (formed in 1939) are no ordinary group. Since Ochoa's arrival in 1978, Cuarteto Patria have spoken the language of Cuban son the same way that Art Blakey & His Messengers preached the jazz gospel up here: with a fluency and sincerity beyond belief. JAMES KIRCHMER

COUNTING CROWS/GIGOLO AUNTS
(Moore Theatre) Say what you will about the Count-ing Crows (and I know you will)-any band that exhibits such good taste in opening bands deserves some credit, whether you like the group or not. The Gigolo Aunts have quite the supporter in the Counting Crows' Adam Duritz: Not only is he bringing them along for the road, but he put out Gigolo Aunts' most recent album, the nifty Minor Chords and Major Themes, on his own label. BARBARA MITCHELL

PHAROAH SANDERS
(Jazz Alley) Unlike most aging jazz stars who cut album after album of recycled nostalgia, sax giant Pharoah Sanders has been taking chances alongside adventurers the likes of Bill Laswell, Trilok Gurtu, and Bernie Worrell. The man's young at heart and has integrity. Listen closely, and you'll hear the elusive sound of wisdom. JAMES KIRCHMER

JON AUER
(Gordon Biersch) Look, I hate yuppies AND I have one of the worst cases of mallphobia in all of history. But for Pete's sake, folks, it's three FREE hours with one of this city's treasures: former Posie Jon Auer. Expect to hear solo material, Posies songs, and a wide assortment of covers. BARBARA MITCHELL

THE GOSSIP/NOD AND SMILE/

THE FUGUE IS A DISEASE
(Paradox Theater) "Ain't no woman like a Southern girl!" No, this ain't no Cheap Trick. It's the Gossip's leading lady, Beth, belting out the chorus to her locally classic hit "Southern Comfort." This lady's got some set of pipes, which she puts to good use on tales of strong Southern women and lusty nights. Hailing originally from Searcy and Judsonia, Arkansas, and transplanted to Olympia, Washington, the Gossip turn out a stripped-down, primal beat for a sweaty, barely post-teen party romp. Opening festivities are to be provided by fellow Olympians The Fugue Is a Disease, described to me as "angular," and Seattle noise-pop band Nod and Smile. ALLISON WOLFE

DELUSIONS
(Sit & Spin) If they're good enough to earn the opening slot on Built to Spill's tour last year, who am I to argue? Actually, the Delusions are a damn fine band whose time on the road only turned them into an even better live outfit. It's hard to believe that it's been almost a year and a half since Hope It Dies On a Sunny Day came out-making me hopeful that there will be some new, raw-but-undeniably-catchy material being played this evening. BARBARA MITCHELL

BILLY CHILDISH/SCOTT McCAUGHEY
(Crocodile) My pal Babs lent me the greatest motivation tool ever, a little mind game called "What Would Scott McCaughey Do?" Now, every time I start to feel lazy about going out to a show, thinking maybe I'll just stay home and watch New Detectives, I ask myself, "What would Scott McCaughey do?" And in an instant I'm out the door and on my way to see some new band, because McCaughey-at once husband, father, and busiest musician/fan in the city-is probably already there, pint in hand, bobbing his perpetually sunglass-bedecked head to the music. Try it-it'll work every time. KATHLEEN WILSON

ALPHA YAYA DIALLO
(Bohemian Cafe) The last time this Vancouver-based artist played, peering down at his admirers with a defiant guitar-god smirk, he delivered bolts of Afro-soul-pop ecstasy so piercing that a rich Eastsider, freaked at hearing real music in Pioneer Square, celebrated by buying top-shelf drinks for the entire house. JAMES KIRCHMER

AARON SPRINKLE/BRADEN BLAKE/

CARRIE AKRE
(OK Hotel) Ah... bliss! An entire evening's worth of first-rate singer-songwriters. The material on Carrie Akre's upcoming solo album is subtle and mature; it's got an emotional depth that works well with Akre's amazing voice. Also, be sure to catch the rest of this bill: relative newcomer Aaron Sprinkle, a charming and talented guy you're sure to be hearing more about, and, of course, former Super Deluxe singer Braden Blake, who is back in the limelight again. BARBARA MITCHELL

VENEZUELAN FLOOD BENEFIT
(Scottish Rite Temple) This benefit concert and auction (hosted by former Mariner Omar Vizquel) has Venezuelan snacks and features a slew of authentic traditionalists like the Aparicio Brothers and Freddy Vilches' Matices, as well as local salsa orchestra Nueva Era, a straight-up bunch rarely capable of holding a non-dancer's musical attention, but certainly competent enough to pack the floor. For reservations (required) call 523-5930. JAMES KIRCHMER

LEE "SCRATCH" PERRY/

MAD PROFESSOR
(Fenix) Mad Professor toured right after the release of No Protection, his remix album of Massive Attack's Protection. And so everyone paid their $15 and went to the show expecting to hear tracks off of No Protection. Do you know what people's faces look like when they expect to hear triphop and instead get reggae? Oh man, it was funny. There's not enough pot in the universe to get a room full of anglophile hipsters in shiny nylon hoodies to accept reggae. But those folks won't be showing up for this Bob Marley Festival show. This one's strictly for the hippies. ERIN FRANZMAN

JOEL R.L. PHELPS

& THE DOWNER TRIO/

SANFORD ARMS
(Tractor Tavern) It's okay to be sad and happy at the same time. Go ahead-it feels good. Better yet, it sounds good. KATHLEEN WILSON

KULTUR SHOCK/B-SIDE PLAYERS
(Crocodile) The addition of sax stars Amy Denio and Jessica Lurie has taken Kultur Shock's Americanized gypsy party to wonderful new heights, as these two longtime collaborators have been way into Balkan music for many years and possess a powerful musical rapport. San Diego's B-Side players initially struck me as a baby version of the legendary Pucho & the Latin Soul Brothers, but I soon realized that these young cats are still in the wannabe stage-which, mind you, ain't a bad place to be. JAMES KIRCHMER

BLOOD BROTHERS/THE CATHETERS
(Sit & Spin, 3 pm early show) If you're young enough that live shows still make you see God, here's one you can actually get into. And if it's been years since you had that experience, here's the chance to watch a band freak out with the intensity of something out of the first Decline of Western Civilization movie. The Blood Brothers are young men who channel all the lust and confusion of adolescence with a clear view of the approaching headlights of the adult world. They throw one exhilarating temper tantrum, and if you come to this show to remember way-back-when, your thinning hair will stand on end. In a couple of years they could be great. GRANT COGSWELL

MOUNTAIN CON./THE MELODY UNIT/

KING BLACK ACID
(Sit & Spin) You've got to have a long attention span to truly appreciate the sprawling pop of Portland's King Black Acid, otherwise you might write them off as a jam band. That'd be bad, because KBA frontman Daniel Riddle plays the kind of aching, thrashing love songs that go on and on. Sometimes, especially with that awful day in February fast approaching, you just wanna see love get a good throttling. KATHLEEN WILSON

FIVE GEARS IN REVERSE
(OK Hotel) Maybe it's the fact that they haven't lived in Seattle long enough to become tainted or jaded or cynical, but there's something so upbeat and charming about former Bellingham residents Five Gears in Reverse that it's downright refreshing. They play the kind of buoyant indie pop that's perfect for relieving Seasonal Affective Disorder-or putting a smile on your face any day of the year. BARBARA MITCHELL

VUE/POST-STARDOM DEPRESSION
(Breakroom) I knew this band might be trouble when, while playing under the name "the Audience" at Re-bar, they announced from the stage that they were soon to be The Next Big Thing from Sub Pop. Now called the Vue, and about to release their self-titled debut on, yes, Sub Pop, I'm still not impressed. But if you're the kind of person who likes a cover band that plays all original songs (if you know what I mean), then maybe the Vue is for you. KATHLEEN WILSON

DANCE TO WORLD MUSIC:

A BENEFIT FOR TURKISH

EARTHQUAKE RELIEF
(HUB West Ballroom, UW) Benefits are, by nature, rather uneven artistic affairs. This event is no different, as the local roster spans a wide spectrum of styles and talents, from genuinely promising musicians such as Omar Torrez in a stripped-down, acoustic, flamenco-groove performance, to stomach-churning macho-cheese mediocrity (Vassili & Eric, from the otherwise mostly enjoyable Children of the Revolution collective). JAMES KIRCHMER

RAEKWON
(Bohemian Backstage) Though Raekwon's latest effort, Immobilarity, is, like its title, uninspired, his 1995 CD Only Built 4 Cuban Linx ranks as the best thing to come out of the massive (indeed bloated) Wu Tang Clan universe. And this is all the more impressive when you consider that Wu Tang Clan's Enter the Wu Tang Clan (36 Chambers), Method Man's Tical, GZA's Liquid Sword, and Ol' Dirty Bastard's Return to the 36 Chambers are all hiphop masterpieces. Though I have never seen Raekwon perform (live or on TV), he is still a legend: the mad genius whose hypnotic and hyper-violent track "Criminology" cost me a week's worth of sleep. CHARLES MUDEDE

LIMP/GOB/DIVIT
(Graceland) Oh, goody! A veritable cornucopia of monosyllabic bands! If these three monikers conjure up images of spitballs, skateboards, and other trappings of adolescence, you're onto something. Not likely to be the show where you meet the post-doctorate music lover of your dreams (check the ID of anyone you're thinking about hooking up with tonight), but a good opportunity to let loose and enjoy some good old-fashioned punk-pop. BARBARA MITCHELL

CHRIS CORNELL
(Paramount) "Chris Cornell is daringly stepping forward from Seattle's recently disbanded Soundgarden and keeping on with the tradition of breaking boundaries and challenging traditions. His daringly eclectic debut Euphoria Morning is cornell's [sic] rebirth into a new realm of more experimental and emotional terrain." So, wait, he's keeping on with the tradition of challenging traditions? And daringly stepping forward with a daringly eclectic album? We dare you to go to this show. ERIN FRANZMAN

ANTHRAX/FU MANCHU
(Ballard Firehouse) Anthrax. At the Ballard Firehouse. I laugh. Ha. ERIN FRANZMAN

ARTURO SANDOVAL
(Jazz Alley) This fiery Latin-jazz trumpeter's latest release, Americana, is disguised as a sincere tribute to American pop music, but it's nothing more than an irrelevant "crossover" attempt. In fact, this album is so bad that his Cuban grandmothers have come back to life and are headed straight for his Miami home to give him a whoopin' he'll never forget. JAMES KIRCHMER

NEBULA
(Graceland) "Takin' off/To the center of the universe" are probably the first words you'll hear from Nebula tonight. It's big talk, but these boys will more than deliver. Don't expect much of a stage show (unless you consider drummer Ruben Romano taking his shirt off a show, which some do), but be prepared to rock in that neck-hurts-the-next-morning kind of way to this crossover stoner band. They hit heavy and hard, putting their former comrades Fu Manchu to shame. Did I mention that they have a gong? Occasionally they set it on fire. Enough said. TANYA RICHARDSON

SIL2K PRESENTS: InBOIL/BILL HORIST/

JOHN ZORN'S COBRA
(I-Spy) With the addition of this weekly showcase, the Emerald City's experimental/avant-garde/improvised music scene now has five concert series in place. Tonight's SIL2K headliner is not John Zorn (although his Cobra game will be played), but rather Bill Horist (Axolotl, Renderhorse), a local guitar-manipulator/shredder who ought to be on every aspiring axeman's must-see list of Seattle-based players. JAMES KIRCHMER