- In the December 11 issue of The Stranger, the fact-checking mark "CQ" failed to be deleted from the All Ages Action column before being sent to press. We regret the error because it made us look stupid.

- In our guide to the 2003 Capitol Hill Block Party, The Stranger mistakenly left out the dates for the big event. Just so you know, it happened on Saturday, July 12, and Sunday, July 13, and lots of people who met there got laid.

- Stranger food critic Sara Dickerman regrets that in fussing a little about the atmosphere at Union, she may have masked her excitement that a new restaurant is preparing food with such care and grace.

- David Schmader, associate editor of The Stranger, regrets that dogs and cats are no longer allowed to behave like normal dogs and cats in television commercials, but are forced via computer graphics to breakdance or lip-synch or both.

- In the Live/DJ listings that appeared in the September 11 issue of The Stranger, the White Stripes/Yeah Yeah Yeahs show at the Stadium Exhibition Center was listed for Tuesday, September 16--when, in fact, the show actually took place on Saturday, September 13. We regret it if it seemed like we were fucking with you.

- Earlier this year, Stranger editor Dan Savage made the mistake of trusting various officials at Public Health--Seattle & King County, and he regrets it.

- On July 24, film editor Bradley Steinbacher gave a positive review to the film Northfork, calling it "wonderful," mysterious, and "a worthwhile experience"--when, in fact, it is none of these things. Northfork actually pretty much blows. We regret his error.

- The Stranger's music writers and editor regret not giving the following bands the attention they deserve: Pretty Girls Make Graves, the Spits, Blue Sky Mile, Kane Hodder, A Frames, Cobra High, and the Blood Brothers. We promise to give them some press next year.

- Associate editor Charles Mudede wishes to disclose at this time that he has very little interest in the Tibetan issue, as demonstrated by his rather lethargic SIFF guide review of the "important" documentary Tibet: Cry of the Snow Lion.

- The Stranger regrets that Jim Compton won reelection in this year's Seattle City Council race, despite the best efforts of our news team.

- In a review for our SIFF guide, a critic wrote that Vagabond is an "utterly brilliant, utterly beautiful film.... The editing, the direction, the acting, the dreamy atmosphere--everything in this musical movie is simply wonderful." To clarify, these things are completely untrue.

- On December 11, the Theater Listings noted the ticket price for Scot Augustson's hilarious Brent or Brenda? as "$TK," which is not a known quantity of U.S. currency. "TK" is what we write when we are missing a piece of information we intend to find before the paper goes to press. The fact that we didn't insert this piece of information before the paper went to press is no one's fault except Annie Wagner's.

- In Nate Lippens' profile of the German act the Notwist ("Growing Pains Sound So Sweet," April 10), The Stranger allowed the label "electroclash" to be used in association with the group--even though we fully realize they're nothing close to electroclash. We regret the error and promise to use the term only when describing the sound Larry Tee coined and then proceeded to help beat into a dead horse.

- In "The New Republicans," a news story published in The Stranger's July 31 issue, reporter Sandeep Kaushik incorrectly asserted that Eastside representative Jennifer Dunn had turned down entreaties from the state Republican Party to run for governor. In fact, Dunn had declined to run against Democratic senator Patty Murray. Further, Kaushik praised state Republicans for recruiting retired Microsoft executive Bob Herbold to run for governor. Several days later, Herbold officially announced he was not going to run for that office. The Stranger regrets not summarily executing Kaushik.

- Over the course of 2003, The Stranger has run music articles with such retarded headlines as "Friends Forever Kick Out (In) the Van," "Chris Cornell = Rock God," "Steve Turner = Hippie," and "Crusty Treasure." Music editor Jennifer Maerz is a shitty headline writer, and we regret letting her write so many of them.

- In a short review of The Return of the Living Dead published on December 4, Bradley Steinbacher described the zombie film as a "sequel" to George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. As a reader pointed out, this was incorrect. Return of the Living Dead is not a sequel, but rather a film "inspired by" Romero's classic film, whatever that means.

- Music columnist Kathleen Wilson regrets not being able to recall more than about 16 minutes of SXSW this year, or how she racked up a $271 room-service bill.

- Furthermore, music columnist Kathleen Wilson regrets charging the aforementioned $271 room-service bill to her parents, whose Visa account number she never would have guessed lies buried in her subconscious.

- Most of all, concerning the two previous regrets, Ms. Wilson regrets that despite all the carefree living she did over those four days in Austin, Texas, this summer, there have been no reports that she had any whirlwind fling that might explain the forgetting and the eating.

- Stranger food critic Sara Dickerman regrets that Seattle restaurants have a fear of good rye bread. Ms. Dickerman's had too many Reubens on rye that's really more like white bread sprinkled with caraway seeds. Plenty of bakeries in town make good, chewy ryes--Sweet Lorraine's Bakery and Tall Grass Bakery, to name a couple. Chefs, please take advantage.

- In a review of Friday Night that appeared on April 24, a reviewer wrote that Claire Denis' movies were about "two beautiful people gazing at each other." In fact, Friday Night is about two ugly people fucking each other. We regret the error.

- Stranger copy editor Scott McGeath regrets the widespread popularity of the (incorrect) phrase "is comprised of" being used instead of "comprises," although he is amused that folks frequently use the former to make themselves sound smart.

- In an article published in The Stranger's queer issue on June 26, books editor Christopher Frizzelle regrets writing on and on about his large penis, even though this information was central to understanding the nuanced relationship between Mr. Frizzelle and his father, and led to some compelling insights about the parents of gay children. Though he stands by his story, Mr. Frizzelle promises to refrain from writing any more articles that would require him to mention his penis and how uncommonly big it is.

- Stranger critic Emily Hall regrets phrasing anything in her review of Guy Gauthier's published diaries that could be excerpted and used as a blurb, because she truly hated it.

- Charles Mudede regrets that booze has ruined his marriage, placed him deeper into debt, and delivered several blows to his health; yet even now, as he writes this sentence, all he can think about is his first drink of the day, which will be at lunchtime and probably red wine.

- Megan Seling regrets having anything to do with the January 16 issue of The Stranger, the infamous "Drinking Issue." She especially regrets allowing her subject, "Dan," to throw quarters at pedestrians from the second story of a First Avenue parking garage. It will not happen again.

- On June 12, Josh Feit's Five to Four column began, "A June 5 letter to Mayor Greg Nickels--signed by six out of nine city council members--announced the council's intentions to reduce Nickels' proposed fire facilities levy by $92 million, or 40 percent. (Nickels' $229 million levy plan is slated to go to voters this November, and would cost the owner of a $300,000 house about $100 a year in property taxes over nine years.)" This is the most incomprehensible lead paragraph ever published in The Stranger. We regret it deeply.

- In an August 28 feature titled "Flying High," about Howard Dean's 10-city, four-day Sleepless Summer Tour, Stranger reporter Sandeep Kaushik misattributed a quote about Dean's inspirational message to "Manny" Tempel of Minnesota. The statement was actually uttered by her friend, Chrys VanDerKamp. Furthermore, "Manny"'s name is actually Mandy. The Stranger regrets the misattribution and the misspelling. Kaushik likewise regrets that Stranger editor Dan Savage is an unreasonable jerk who demanded that Kaushik produce more than 3,000 words of copy over the course of a single night while in the midst of a grueling presidential campaign swing.

- Graceland, the local music venue, regrets never cleaning its bathrooms.

- The feature stories Charles Mudede wrote this year--"City of Destiny: Tacoma Police Chief David Brame didn't just murder his wife and kill himself. He brought Tacoma face to face with its true self" (May 14); "Topography of Terror IV" (May 29); "Death Farm: The Geography of Pig Farmer Robert Pickton, the Man Suspected of Having Killed Over 60 Vancouver, BC, Sex Workers" (Oct 30)--were all rather gloomy. We regret subjecting our readers to such unremitting pessimism, and promise to assign Mr. Mudede a cheerful feature about a sunny subject soon.

- The Stranger regrets that there is almost no street food in Seattle. Because, according to health department rules, cooking cannot be done outside, any food that's sold outside has to be already fully cooked. That means hot dogs, pastries, and pre-popped kettle corn, for the most part.

- After receiving an angry phone call from G. Love and Special Sauce's drummer, what's-his-name, explaining that she "needs to get laid by a big cock" for calling his band, among other things, "the soundtrack for settling into suburban complacency one slow track at a time," Stranger music editor Jennifer Maerz would like to clarify that she does, in fact, already get laid by a big cock on a regular basis, and that the band is the soundtrack for "settling into whiny suburban complacency one slow track at a time." Maerz regrets not clarifying both points sooner.

- The Stranger regrets that public schools across this country--in defiance of reams of incontrovertible evidence from language acquisition studies--still refuse to start teaching children a foreign language until they reach middle school. That's just dumb.

- Dan Savage, the editor of The Stranger, regrets responding to various e-mail messages from Mark Fefer, a staff writer at the Seattle Weekly. Mr. Savage also regrets not creating an e-mail filter to redirect Mr. Fefer's messages into his trash folder sooner than he actually did.

- Stranger copy editor Scott McGeath regrets choosing American Heritage Dictionary's first spelling of the word "co-worker" as The Stranger's style, since AH spells it "coworker," which sometimes reads like "cow" "orker."

- On June 19, the Film Shorts section declared that the Typing Explosion documentary Signed, Stamped, Dated was receiving "it's debut" at the Little Theatre, which was a mistake. The Stranger regrets it's stupidity.

- In his November 13 review of the film Master and Commander, Bradley Steinbacher made a joke about Napoleon Bonaparte's "stubby legs." In hindsight, this joke was offensive to people with stubby legs. We regret Mr. Steinbacher's insensitivity toward freaks with stubby legs.

- Due to a production error, an article on the band the Dwarves was allowed to run in The Stranger's music section. We truly regret the error and have since fired every production staffer associated with that piece.

- Look, Peace MC, Charles Mudede will review your goddamn CD next year. He is sorry for ignoring it, sorry for losing it several times; sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Now please stop calling him.

- Josh Feit's February 20 article "Sherman's March" was so critical of Sherman Alexie's trite antiwar speech that The Stranger felt compelled to make nice with Alexie and give him a column of his own--called Reservations--which ran for several months. We regret this chain of events.

- In his November 20 "review" of Paris Hilton Sex Tape, film editor Bradley Steinbacher failed to mention that he no longer possesses a digital copy of the tape of the hotel heiress engaged in coitus and he doesn't remember where he got it or how. So please stop asking.

- It may have appeared as though a February 2 Film Shorts write-up was mocking the young filmmaker Deco Dawson because he was Canadian. In truth, we adore Canadians, we think Deco is a genius, and we'd like to thank the Northwest Film Forum for bringing such a luminary to our undeserving city. Any other message that might have been conveyed was purely inadvertent.

- The Stranger regrets laserdiscs.

- This sentence, written by Charles Mudede in an article about dub music that appeared in The Stranger's June 20 issue, went, in terms of length and ambition and imagery, too far: "It is a frightening dub in the galactic sense, and yet possesses in the depths of its electronic furies a calm and beauty that can only be described as the gleam you might see along the rusting shell of a space station rotating through the blue aura of Earth's thinning stratosphere."

- Due to a copyediting oversight, the title of Nate Lippens' roots-and-Americana column has been mistakenly running under the title Drunk by Noon. The correct title is Drunk All the Time. We apologize to Mr. Lippens for our repeated error.

- On March 13, the Film Shorts section termed the obsolete video medium PixelVision "kitsch." In the hands of filmmakers like Sadie Benning, PixelVision is many things--bizarre, willfully obscure, and fascinating--but it certainly isn't kitsch. We regret any misunderstanding the K-word caused.

- Although it's titled The Truth, The Stranger regrets to inform readers that Samuel L. Chesneau's weekly hiphop column is completely made up every week.

- Music columnist Kathleen Wilson regrets that people who continue to not read Some Candy Talking still bitch that it contains gossip. She also regrets all those people who never read the column when it was called It's My Party and yet freely comment on its similarity to Some Candy Talking.

- Bradley Steinbacher's September 11 review of the film Lost in Translation annoyed several Stranger staffers who, encouraged by his review, went to see the film and found it lacking. Mr. Steinbacher regrets that Josh Feit and Erica C. Barnett has such terrible taste in movies.

- The Stranger news team is starting to regret having hired feature news reporter Flip Dowdy. Despite Dowdy's $50k-plus salary--at least $20,000 more than any of his news team colleagues make--Dowdy didn't write any news features this year, and didn't publish a single word in the news section between November 5 and December 23. He remains employed despite his low output because we're eagerly awaiting part three of his investigative series on Sea-Monkeys (which he started working on in 2002), because the management here plays favorites, and because everyone in the office really appreciates his wine-tasting tips.

- In the October 2 issue, film editor Bradley Steinbacher offered a self-described cop-out of a review for the film Demonlover because, at the time, he did not know how he felt about the picture. He does now: He sorta kinda likes it. And he regrets his previous waffling.

- Stranger columnist and calendar editor Megan Seling regrets Stranger film editor Bradley Steinbacher's existence--for the following reasons: Cold Creek Manor, Spy Kids 3-D, Wrong Turn, Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas, How to Deal, Dumb and Dumberer, Uptown Girls, and Looney Tunes: Back in Action. Because of Mr. Steinbacher, Ms. Seling was cruelly forced to sit through these insufferable "films."

- In our November 27 issue, we let Seattle City Council Member Heidi Wills write the City section's weekly political column. We regret this error.

- Emily Hall regrets the moral flightiness of the British woman who, in early December, had a late-term abortion after learning that the fetus had a cleft palate. She doubly regrets learning about this right before her recent article on the missing pro-choice movement went to press.

- Music columnist Kathleen Wilson regrets that some of the creative teams behind Seattle's new rock clubs failed to consult an expert in acoustic design--which is different from a sound person--who might have advised against mirrored walls, or offered a workable alternative to the former proprietor's ugly but functional padding rather than just ripping the ceiling clean.

- The Stranger regrets any inconvenience caused by the inclusion of an AOL insert--a computer disc glued to a piece of cardboard--in our paper this year. The appearance of the insert should in no way be construed as an endorsement of AOL, Time Warner, the merger of the two corporations, or the current stock price of the merged corporation.

- Stranger music editor Jennifer Maerz regrets drinking [blank] and [blanking] on her coffee table in heels at a Christmas party, fracturing her [blank] and making it very difficult to [blank] for four to six weeks.

- Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels, after formally submitting Seattle City Light chief Gary Zarker's name for reconfirmation through the low-key formal channels, regrets making the mistake of emphasizing and reemphasizing his support of Zarker during the State of the City speech; organizing a pro-Zarker letter-writing campaign; bringing in U.S. Representative Jay Inslee to testify on Zarker's behalf during a forum for citizen testimony; and encouraging the City Light union to pack the confirmation hearings. Mr. Nickels, who could have easily overseen a successful reconfirmation of Mr. Zarker had Mr. Nickels not turned Mr. Zarker's job into a political hot potato, regrets being so ham-fisted, obvious, and shrill.

- The Stranger regrets peasant chic.

- In a profile of Stranger Genius Award recipient Matt Briggs that appeared in our October 9 issue, books editor Christopher Frizzelle described Briggs' writing as strange, unbeautiful, and psychologically dark. However, the photo that accompanied the profile made Mr. Briggs look like a real-estate salesman on uppers. We regret that, Matt.

- Though a longer retraction also appears on page 12, Stranger film editor Bradley Steinbacher would like to reiterate just how sorry he is for his favorable review of The Hulk. - Stranger food critic Sara Dickerman regrets that in writing about Assaggio downtown, she didn't mention Italian restaurants that deliver better pasta, like La Spiga, which was reviewed by Ms. Dickerman's predecessor Min Liao just before Ms. Liao left The Stranger, and Cafe Lago, which has consistently delicate noodles, and Cafe Juanita, which is in Kirkland, and priced accordingly, but so, so good.

- Stranger music columnist Kathleen Wilson regrets that no matter how much she publicly obsesses, people will never learn to wipe the toilet seat clean once they've finished pissing all over it. She also regrets that only a scant amount of bar patrons understand that the amount of time between placing a new roll of toilet paper on top of the empty cardboard tube (rather than removing the tube and installing a new roll in its place) and its falling onto the grimy floor is less than one minute.

- The best sentence ever published in The Stranger was written by David Schmader and many staffers here regret not writing it themselves. Mr. Schmader wrote the sentence in a Last Days item about a "miracle Chihuahua" named Peanut who did not have the notable Chihuahua traits of yippiness and quivering. The sentence read: "Peanut is quiet, still, and dry."

- Josh Feit, news editor of The Stranger, regrets dumping Andrea Kao for Sharon Lean in the 11th grade.

- The Stranger regrets that Robert Mugabe is still the president of Zimbabwe.

- Michael Killoren, of the Office of Arts & Cultural Affairs (formerly the Seattle Arts Commission), regrets that whole misguided arts tourism thing. He regrets that he made up the story about the guy he met from Alaska who came down to Seattle to take in the theater, art scene, and a show at the Tractor. It was obviously fake.

- The Stranger regrets that Great White ruined the art of using fireworks at club shows (although you can still use them in parking lots).

- Agreed, Charles Mudede should not have pissed off rapper Talib Kweli during an interview that was published in The Stranger's March 6 issue. But, for the record, Kweli has a big stick (or brick or both) up his ass, and should get used to the fact that journalists have opinions and have the right to express those opinions. The motherfucker.

- Stranger copy editor Scott McGeath regrets waiting until his life was half over before trying yogurt, which he has found to be a tasty alternative to apples.

- A headline that accompanied a May 22 story by Stranger reporter Erica C. Barnett about political campaign consultancy Moxie Media implied that Moxie matters. As subsequent election results revealed, it doesn't. -The Stranger regrets modern dance. All of it, from the early modern era to the classical modern era to the modern modern era.

- On August 22, The Stranger put all news hands on deck--including two interns--to cover what were supposed to be massive protests when President George W. Bush held a fundraiser in the area. The news team outnumbered the protestors. The Stranger regrets this waste of our own energy.

- Despite being urged by various friends and coworkers to attend the production of Hair at the 5th Avenue Theatre this past year, Dan Savage, the editor of The Stranger, did not manage to attend a single performance. Mr. Savage was urged to attend Hair because the actor who played Claude was, according to Mr. Savage's friends and coworkers, Mr. Savage's "type." What's more, the actor who played Claude appeared nude in one scene, and the sight of this actor naked would, according to one coworker, "give Dan a boner for a month." Nevertheless, Mr. Savage did not see the show. Mr. Savage regrets the error.

- The Stranger regrets Fox News.

- Author Richard Florida, who came through town twice to promote his book The Rise of the Creative Class, regrets giving anyone the impression that he has any idea at all about what constitutes good art, a good art scene, or what is good for artists.

- During last year's city council elections, The Stranger was particularly hard on Kollin Min, a candidate for Seattle City Council. Mr. Min earned The Stranger's ire when he expressed his support for the arrest of adults who smoke marijuana, despite the fact that Mr. Min himself had smoked marijuana as an adult. The Stranger mocked Mr. Min, called him a weasel and a hypocrite, and went out of its way to belittle and humiliate the candidate at every turn. Despite having numerous endorsements and a great deal of money at his disposal, Mr. Min was defeated in the primary in September. This did not stop The Stranger's attacks. In the issue of The Stranger that came out after the general election--some eight weeks after Mr. Min had been eliminated from the race--Stranger editor Dan Savage attacked Mr. Min at great length. Since that issue, however, The Stranger has left Mr. Min alone. The Stranger regrets leaving Mr. Min alone, and wishes to emphasize that Mr. Min is still a weasel and a hypocrite.

- Stranger music columnist Kathleen Wilson regrets that it took until spring 2003, when the fourth issue of Gene Simmons Tongue hit newsstands, before she realized how truly stupid she had been that afternoon in 1996 when she defended KISS against Sean Nelson's claim that the band not only was, but always had been, "shitty."

- The Stranger regrets slam poetry, be it antiwar, performed by radical dykes, or spoken in the halls of city democracy.

- Dan Savage, editor of The Stranger, regrets the fact that so many supporters of Ralph Nader refuse to take responsibility for their bone-headed behavior during the 2000 presidential election. Amazingly, some Nader supporters still insist that there is no difference between Al Gore and George W. Bush, despite all evidence--global warming, the shredding of environmental safeguards, massive federal deficits, "preemptive self-defense," anti-gay demagoguery, etc. --to the contrary. Mr. Savage further regrets that he is too busy with other commitments to personally slap every Nader supporter in Seattle across his or her fool face.

- In further Nader-related regrets, Dan Savage, editor of The Stranger, regrets the fact that this newspaper endorsed Ralph Nader for president in 1996. Mr. Savage would like to point out, however, that he was not the editor of The Stranger at the time, and that The Stranger's news editor at the time was a dumb hippie who came to work every day with his ponytailed head stuck up his ass. What's even more regrettable than The Stranger's Nader endorsement is that it was labeled "Protest Vote," as if anyone in Seattle would mistake it for an actual "He just might win!" endorsement.

- Dan Savage, the editor of The Stranger, regrets the previous regret, as it will only serve to remind people that The Stranger endorsed Ralph Nader in 1996.

- A Stranger feature package titled "Smoke Out," full of pro and con essays by Stranger staffers debating a state legislative proposal to ban smoking in bars, hit the streets on March 6. The smoking-ban proposal died in committee, however, the day before, on March 5--suddenly rendering everything we wrote in the March 6 issue embarrassingly irrelevant.

- In further developments, after the previous correction item was written, it came to our attention that Representative Joe McDermott (D-West Seattle) will introduce the bill again this January, retroactively rendering our March 6 feature package dazzlingly ahead of the curve, or "AOTC" as we professional journalists like to say.

- The Stranger regrets not taking more credit for sending reporter Eli Sanders, at great expense, to the Gaza Strip to investigate the death of Palestinian-rights activist Rachel Corrie last April. No other local paper sent a reporter to the Gaza Strip, as the war on Iraq had just begun, and consequently the death of Rachel Corrie wasn't given the coverage it deserved. Apparently, some other newspapers concluded that Mr. Sanders just happened to be in the Gaza Strip at the time of Corrie's death, as if gay Jewish reporters frequently vacation in that part of the world when there's a war on.

- The Stranger regrets that copy editor extraordinaire (and resident genius) Anne Mathews has the misguided notion that she can do whatever she wants with her life, and has chosen to leave the paper to return to school and improve her lot. She will be sorely missed.

- On May 22, the cover of our special pullout for the Seattle International Film Festival declared itself to be "A festival guide from the only paper in town that isn't ridiculous and terrible," which irked some other newspapers in town. The Stranger officially regrets that the other newspapers in town are so ridiculous and so terrible.