We Regret These Errors

We Regret These Errors

Sorrowful Remorse

From the Desk of the Enumclaw Horse

From the Desk of Katie Holmes's Fetus

From the Desk of Former Monorail Director Joel Horn

Dept. of Corrections

I Regret Not Killing Benjamin Colton Barnes Before He Got to That Park Ranger

I Regret Those Girls in Roslyn

I Regret Republicans Giving Me a Bad Name

I Regret That Señor Romney Lost the Election

We Regret These Errors.

We Regret These Erors

From the Desk of Michael Jackson

I Regret Being Consigned to Eternal Damnation with the Guy Who Drew The Family Circus

I Regret Not Taking Out Lance Armstrong

We Regret Mentioning Suicide, Publishing Essays about Suicide, and Placing Visual Depictions of Suicide on Our Cover

I Regret Nothing

From the Desk of J. Edgar Hoover

We Wish to Announce Several Regrets (We Wish to Announce Several Regrets)

What You Think About When You Think About Chile

I Regret What's Happening to This City

That Sculpture Is a Stain on Our Reputation

I Regret Not Being Considered Food and Offer, for Your Enjoyment, This Recipe

A Guide to the Jokes in This Issue for the Staff of Gawker

Please Allow Me to Set the Record Straight

I Regret Rehab

I Regret that Pit Bulls Find My Face So Delicious

I Regret Macklemore's Tweets

I Regret Killing All-Ages Music

After deep reflection, we, the 3.6 million registered voters of Washington State, have an admission: We’re mostly dumb as fuck (and self-defeating on top of that).


Case in point: Most of us are members of the 99 percent, but in the fall of 2010, more than two years into the Great Recession, more than 1.5 million of us (that’s 64 percent of us) chose to approve Tim Eyman’s Initiative 1053, which hog-ties (we know what that is!) the state legislature by requiring a virtually unreachable two-thirds majority vote of both houses to raise any new revenue. We did this at a time when it was obvious to everyone that Washington needed billions—that’s a lotta lotta lot—in new revenue and couldn’t possibly get all that revenue through cuts without eliminating programs that we want and need.

Now, predictably, here we are, in a state with no income tax even on the wealthiest 1 percent, facing the latest $2 billion state revenue shortfall, and we, the stupid fucking people, have changed our minds. A majority of us just told the Elway Poll that we now support raising new revenue to offset cuts to things like education for our kids and health care for the neediest. We stupidly helped make these cuts inevitable by voting last year against Initiative 1098, which would have raised—wait for it—about $2 billion through an income tax on high earners.

But, of course, it’s nearly impossible to raise the new revenue we now want because of the two-thirds-majority requirement we voted for in 2010. Christ, we’re so dumb. Apologies. Feel free to slap us. We’re everywhere. recommended