Winter Survival Guide
Have you been outside? Yeah. It's so cold, people's limbs are snapping off. Especially people who aren't from here. It's times like this we turn to the people who grew up around here and go: How do you survive?
Bethany Jean Clement has been surviving Seattle winters since she was a kid. She writes her autobiography in soup—from Campbell's to her first bowl of pho to digging razor clams for chowder to making homemade butternut squash soup. (There is blood involved.) She also eats soup at Calamity Jane's, Hopvine, and Canlis.
Emily Nokes has been sitting in a hot tub since last winter (continuously!), when a friend decided to deal with her divorce by buying one off Craigslist. Are you familiar with how a hot tub can change your life? Because a hot tub can change your life.
Clare Gordon has been warming up by slumming in the tasting rooms of some of Seattle's upstart distilleries. She finds four especially good ones: Old Ballard Liquor Co. (for their aquavit), Copperworks Distilling (for their gin), Westland Distillery (for their whiskey), and Letterpress Distilling (for their limoncello).
Brendan Kiley has taken off his clothes and bathed with strangers all over the world, so we sent him to clothing-optional spas in Lynnwood and Doe Bay. He also touches on communal bathing in small-town Japan, group showers at the Oregon Country Fair, and the musings of a 12th-century nun who wrote that saunas could heal "a divided mind and crazy thoughts." Kiley's attempt to undivide his own mind is here.
And, arguably taking this whole concept too far, Sarah Galvin—intrepid, just-say-yes Sarah Galvin—investigates the use of Icy Hot as a sex toy. Just how hot does your junk get if you rub Icy Hot on it? Is it hotter than warming lube from Babeland? Hotter than a pumpkin spice latte? Spoiler: Yes, it's way hotter than those things. Hotter than you can imagine. Dangerously hot. (Oh yeah, and: It's for on you, not in you. Never, ever in you.) How exactly does she know it's hotter than a pumpkin spice latte? You are about to find out (it involves an experiment in the bathroom at Zeitgeist Coffee).