I'm probably sounding like that Andy Rooney guy on 60 Minutes, but why the heck can't burger places wrap a burger decently any more? You go to a fast food place -- not a burger joint where your burger and fries come in a plastic basket, but a corporate chain where your burger comes wrapped in logo-ized waxed paper. Nowadays, whether the burger is on the tray or in the bag, you can literally SEE the wrapper stiffening and pulling away from the burger, exposing bread and spilling shredded lettuce everywhere. What the hell is going on here!?

Up until a year ago, 17-year-olds across Seattle were doing this straightforward yet essential task without problem. Yet now they're suddenly messing it up! Was there some secret purge of all paper-folding employees? Has the secret art of burger wrapping been lost to the world? Are employers just not showing the new hires, thinking it's so easy, anyone can do it? Apparently, it's not! As my grandpa says, "There's a trick to everything." And for those with deficient managers, here's the trick: Place burger in the center of the paper. Fold two opposing sides to center. Fold the two remaining [narrow] ends into a TRIANGLE and tuck UNDER the burger. Got it? If this description isn't enough, check out any Dick's Drive-In in the city. They're the only chain in Seattle that consistently, store to store, wraps their burgers correctly. Thank you, Dick's! Thank you for your attention to QUALITY!

-- Anonymous