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I was sad when I heard that Marilyn Chambers died last month. She was a total classic from the once-upon-a-time "Golden Age" of porn. She played BOTH a "99 and 44/100 percent pure" mom on the Ivory Snow detergent box and the unabashedly proud lead in 1972's Behind the Green Door. I won't go on and on about her career, accomplishments, or amazingly unashamed attitude. That's been done.

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What my brain is WHAT-THE-FUCKING is the news of Chambers's last-ever film: Porndogs: The Adventures of Sadie. This WTF-er is a self-described "outrageous comedy," a "mass-marketed hardcore dog movie"—"the tale of a young Labrador who goes into heat for the first time, then runs away to the city to avoid getting spayed," like a "Benji Does Dallas"!

Before you go jumping to conclusions (pervert), let me also say the film is live-action (not cartoon), all-canine (30-plus dog actors), and Chambers stars as nothing more than the VOICE of leading (dog) lady, Sadie. I bet you're wondering, "Wait! Who else stars in this groundbreaking triple-X-er?!" Porndogs celebrity (voice) cast also includes Ron Jeremy, L.A. rapper Too $hort, Heidi Fleiss, Tera Patrick, and everyone's favorite former-Saved-by-the-Bell-cast-member–turned-porn-star Dustin "Screech" Diamond.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have a pretty open mind. But this confuses me. Do the dogs have sex? YES, YES THEY DO.

Director Greg Blatman told AVN.com, "I did a lot of research ahead of time. My concern, as a dog lover, was for [the dogs'] safety. I talked to two veterinarians [and] a couple of animal trainers, and made sure that there was absolutely no chance of harm... For the male dogs, we used professional stud dogs... We had to check all the dogs for sexually transmitted diseases, because breeders can't have that passed on... We're not going to put a condom on the dog... also, it's the female that makes the decision, so we brought in the professional male stud dogs, but Sadie only chose who she wanted to have sex with. The males could do all they wanted, but Sadie's a big girl, and she told them exactly what she wanted, and when she was satisfied with the partner or the pairing, she went at it."

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Blatman also stated that he didn't know when Porndogs would be released (it's still in postproduction), but "isn't ruling out the possibility of a Christmas opening."

Can you imagine the look of sheer terror on the Christmas-morning face of the first parent who mistakes P-Dogs for a Disney-esque family film? You know, that's probably what makes it "outrageous comedy."

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