I can take your virgin dry humping and your loud, disgusting open-mouth kisses echoing in the living room, but tonight I have just lost my ability to put up with your infatuation with each other. Okay, how the fuck did a pool of semen and dick hair get plastered to the seat of my toilet? Or are you suffering from a vaginal infection that sticks like super glue? Aren't you all supposed to be "pure" till you get engaged on your whopping big "four-month anniversary"? How could you not see that you had left that behind as your fat ass got off the john? I had to melt and scrape it off with Lysol, water, and mounds of toilet paper just so the dick hair wouldn't touch me as I hovered over it to pee. I hope you both realize someday how disgusting and completely shit-for-brains you are.

--Anonymous