Only capitalism can save our escalators: At this point, I'm beginning to think we need corporate sponsors to fix Sound Transit's broken escalator problem. After all, the agency sells ad space on the steps next to the escalators, and I've never seen them out of order. 

Anyway: Last night in Georgia, Sen. Raphael Warnock narrowly beat out walking punchline Herschel Walker in the runoff election to fill the last remaining Senate seat. Warnock's win gives Democrats a 51-49 majority in that chamber, which should hold until 2024, when the Senate map looks very difficult for the blue team. 

Keep that confirmation machine humming, Dark Brandon: After Republican obstruction during the Obama administration left many positions on the federal judiciary vacant, Biden and Chuck Schumer have teamed up to cuck Mitch McConnell by confirming 90 of the president's appointees to the federal bench. That's more than either Obama or Trump confirmed in their first two years in office, and nearly half have been women of color. With continued control of the Senate, Schumer and Biden should be able to keep this up for the next two years.

Don't you *dare* ruin ski season: Listen up, operators of motor vehicles. Obey the rules of the road and put some damn chains on your tires when WSDOT signage tells you to do so. Right now, some of you miscreants apparently think you can navigate the passes without them, and your hubris is shutting them down for everyone else. Knock it off. 

Again, drive carefully, you maniacs: While it didn't occur in the pass, I can only assume that unearned confidence about driving in poor winter weather conditions led to the 30-vehicle collision that's closed I-90 East near Ellensburg. 

Speaking of the best time of the year: Be careful if you're out late this evening, as the winter winds will be gusting up to 45 mph. 

It's the grifting, stupid: In his column for the Seattle Times this morning, Danny Westneat correctly diagnosed the driving force behind the leaders of the MAGA movement in Washington. Just like the rest of Trump's minions, election-denier Joe Kent has continued pushing for a recount in his loss to Congresswoman-elect Marie Gluesenkamp Perez in order to keep milking his marks supporters for more campaign cash. Where's the money going? To Kent's consultants, Westneat reports.

Pierce County Sheriff Ed Troyer trial continues: For those who haven't been following it, prosecutors accuse Troyer of lying when he told police that a Black newspaper carrier, Sedrick Altheimer, threatened to kill him and then drew roughly forty cops down to the scene. Yesterday, Altheimer took the stand to explain his version of events from that morning, when Troyer interrupted his work by following him around a neighborhood as Altheimer delivered papers. 

In his own words: Altheimer refused to give an inch on the stand when Troyer's lawyers cross-examined him, insisting that the sheriff's actions put his life in danger for no reason.

We will never tire of this story: I know, I know. Charles dunked on Tim Eyman in PM yesterday, but this continued public humiliation is like political catnip that I simply cannot resist. If you haven't watched the best YouTube video in Washington's political history lately, I invite you to treat yourself.

America's cops have been on one this year: According to the researchers at the nonprofit Mapping Police Violence, there have only been 13 days so far this year when a cop in this country hasn't killed someone. The latest data available on the daily tracker only runs through October, but their overall count shows that police have killed 18 more people this year through December 3 than they did at that point in the year in 2021. Just in case you thought cops and the politicians who oversee them actually followed through on all those well-intentioned press releases from July 2020 pledging to stop this wanton violence, um, they have not.

Reminder: Cops lie. Like, a lot. But not just on the witness stand or in their reports. They also show a callous disregard for the facts when the feds ask them to report on the violence they perpetrate in their communities, according to a new Washington Post investigative report. They found that the FBI's statistics on police violence failed to include thousands of police shootings, including a not-so-nice 69% of such shootings in Washington state. 

Why does anyone still work at Twitter? The latest in Elon Musk's public dismantling of the global town square involves a new investigation from San Francisco's Department of Building Inspection into allegations that Musk has transformed several rooms in the company's HQ into bedrooms for employees. If he was truly inspiring a "hardcore" approach at the company, Musk would expect his engineers to sleep at their desks like my friends who sold their souls to Big Law for a paycheck to afford luxury apartments they never see.

Let's end AM with a seasonally appropriate relaxation aide for all of those poor tech siblings questioning every choice that led them to spend their one precious and wild lives in an industry dominated by emotionally stunted manbabies.