I’m back: Hey! It's Hannah. Long time no see. I was away for the last almost two weeks, and I regrettably failed to set up a little out-of-office message, so I’m sorry if you felt ignored, betrayed, etc., etc., because I did not respond to your emails. I'm here now and I still love some of you. 

Rest in piss: Last night, news broke that former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, a bloodthirsty war criminal, died at 100. Before you dweebs come at me with Death Discourse and insist we must be respectful when someone dies, I encourage you to reflect on the millions of people he helped kill without a shred of remorse.

Twitter celebrates, as it should:

What haters will say:

Pressing snooze on genocide: Israel an Hamas agreed to extend the temporary pause for a seventh day so they can continue trading hostages. According to CNN, Hamas released 97 Israelis and other foreign nationals, and Israel released 210 Palestinians over the last six days. 

The fear continues: According to Al Jazeera, Gazans are still scared even amid the pause. Makes sense. In the eight-week escalation of Israel’s 75-year long death campaign against Palestine, Israeli forces killed 15,000 people in Gaza, wiping out entire families in their relentless bombardment, destroying about half the homes on the strip, and displacing a million people. Plus, it doesn’t look like the pause will last. That’s not me speculating—yesterday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said, “Over the past few days I’ve been hearing this question–will Israel go back to fighting after maximizing this phase of returning our hostages? So my answer is unequivocal–Yes.” And of course, the hostage swap didn’t stop Israel from committing atrocities against Palestinians, they just raided the West Bank!

Gay is slay: Seattle Public Schools confirmed that some of their students sent letters to anti-LGBT lobby group, Moms for Liberty, as part of a teacher-supervised activity. The confirmation comes after Moms for Liberty complained about the letters in a Twitter post this weekend. The concerned middle schoolers wrote, “Stop bullying and excluding LGBT youth and families,” and, in very iconic fashion, “Gay is slay. Stop being a rat.”

Get over it: I would love to share more information, but honestly the Crisis In The Classroom story I read on KOMO is straight garbo. The coverage clearly defends Moms for Liberty, saying the organization's lobbying efforts “have placed the parental rights organization on the receiving end of accusations of being anti-LGBTQ+.” The sentence marks new heights for passive voice in propaganda journalism. Plus, it's honestly  unclear if the kids wrote letters during school hours or like, against their will. You know what I did against my will in middle school? Write thank you letters to the army. But, yeah, gay kids defending themselves against conservative lobbyists is the real indoctrination problem in public schools. Give me a fucking break.

Cops: As Ashley reported yesterday, the Seattle City Council did a whole lot of favors for our boys in blue in the 2023-2024 budget. Even though the Seattle Police Department (SPD) continues to fail to hire enough cops to fulfill its twisted fantasies, the council let SPD keep its staffing money as a sort of slush fund. They also paid for some creepy AI program to analyze body cam footage, and they bought a controversial gunshot-locater program called ShotSpotter. Read this for all the tea. 

I almost forgot: We are in for another dreary day, Seattle. You probably already saw some fog on your morning commute, and you already know it's cold as balls. The fog should subside at around 10 am, and then rain will replace it starting at about 1 pm into the evening.  

Do not sign: Hey, if you find yourself outside of a grocery store in a stare-down with a signature-gatherer, Invest in Washington Now wants you to say “thanks, but no thanks” to shitty initiatives that help the wealthy continue to hoard wealth. Multi-millionaire and Republican mega donor Brian Heywood spent big money to collect signatures for I-2109, which would repeal Washington’s capital gains tax, and I-1211, which would ban progressive income taxes on city, county, and state levels. If you care about public education, affordable housing, or any public good that costs the state any money, you do not want that shit on the ballot. No way. 

Spotify Wrapped thinks you’re gay: Yesterday, Spotify users woke up to their annual Spotify Wrapped, which summarizes their listening habits throughout the year. The recap tells users which artists they listened to the most, which songs they had on replay, and this year, Spotify told its users which city, AKA "sound town," most aligned with their music taste. The girls, gays, and theys online noticed that a lot of them got assigned Berkeley, CA, Burlington, VT, and Cambridge, MA, so they speculated the cities must be gay music hots pots. And they may be on to something. According to a 2022 survey, Vermont has the highest rate of LGBT couples in the nation. A little outdated, but in 2016, the Advocate named Cambridge the US’s third queerest city. The city also recognized the first gay marriage in the country in 2004. Berkeley also boasts a long history of queer activism. For example, some student activists invited Ronald Regan to UC Berkeley’s first gay dance, which is so badass of them really.

For your ears: My friend suggested this song, and it's the one thing he’s told me to listen to that is not 100 Gecs. Feeling grateful.