Good Morning! Could anyone sleep over the sound of that wind last night? Heavy gusts knocked out power for at least 135,000 customers in the area, took down utility poles, and threw a tree onto a car on Aurora, all while a Delta flight might have gotten struck by lightning over Lake Union (everyone’s okay). It’s supposed to stick around til 10 am, with gusts up to 60 miles per hour. If you have to go outside before they die down, maybe tie a sandbag or two to your ankles.

Alright, let’s get the Trump stuff out of the way.

Toes Are for Suckers: Someone apparently hacked into the monitors at the DC headquarters of the Department of Housing and Urban Development yesterday. And for a hot second, they showed an AI video of Trump making out with Elon Musk’s big toe. Overlaying the video is the text: “Long Live the Real King.” (Why do we think it’s AI? Elon has two left feet. The rest is pretty believable.) My favorite thing about this story is that someone at the New York Times had to write and edit the phrase: “President Trump sucking the toes of Elon Musk.” 

Empty Threats: According to the government’s own data, nearly 40 percent of the contracts that Elon Musk’s DOGE cancelled won’t save the government any money. The agency published a list of 1,125 contracts that it terminated in recent weeks, and data on DOGE’s “Wall of Receipts” shows that 417 of those cancellations aren’t expected to save the government a dime. “It’s like confiscating used ammunition after it’s been shot when there’s nothing left in it. It doesn’t accomplish any policy objective,” one expert told the Associated Press.

Speaking of Musk: We’re off X (see above for a couple of the reasons). You can find us on BlueSky here. See you there! 

Be Our Guest: The White House socials got weird about opening their tours to the public. It looks like a series of ads for the Hilton Guest Experience™. How do I know this? Because the White House Instagram account nonconsensually appears on my feed every day. 

ICE Can Harass Fewer Churches, At Least: It feels like months ago, but remember at the very beginning of his term (36 days ago), when Trump threw out Department of Homeland Security policies that limited where ICE could make arrests—especially in churches? Several religious groups sued, including the Quakers, a Georgia-based Baptist network, and a Sikh temple in Florida. And yesterday, a US District judge blocked the order while the lawsuit plays out. Unfortunately, it only applies to the plaintiffs.

Another Possible Block: Today, US District Judge Jamal Whitehead in Seattle will hear a legal challenge to Trump’s order freezing refugee arrivals and funding. Individual plaintiffs and three nonprofits that work with refugees are asking the court to put the order on hold while the case proceeds. 

The Company We Keep: At the UN General Assembly yesterday, the United States joined Russia to vote against a resolution condemning Russia’s war against Ukraine, ditching our traditional European allies, and instead aligning us with the likes of North Korea and Belarus. The vote marked the third anniversary of the Russian invasion of Ukraine. This is just the latest in this shift toward Russia: Since taking office, Trump has blamed Ukraine for starting the war, called Zelensky a “dictator,” started building a direct relationship with Putin, and implied that the US sanctions against Russia over the war could be lifted. Europe is starting to make clear that they’re over our shit, and I don’t blame them. 

An Untrained Workforce Is an Obedient Workforce: At least two federal departments have stopped mandatory antidiscrimination and whistleblower training for their employees, according to Newsweek. Legal protections for whistleblowing are guaranteed under the No FEAR Act, and training has been mandatory for federal employees since 2006. But it appears the Trump Administration doesn’t know the difference between DEI and Whistleblowing—they’re all just “government waste” to them. Joe Spielberger, senior policy counsel at the Project on Government Oversight, told Newsweek: "This will certainly create more confusion, and even if people do know their rights, they will likely be more reluctant to come forward and exercise those rights if they feel agencies don't take these issues seriously."

Baby Bowie: Here’s your palette cleanser. Ever heard of a sloth bear? They’re very silly looking. Here at the Woodland Park Zoo, we have a mamma Sloth Bear who’s celebrating the arrival of Bowie, a female cub born on January 8—David Bowie’s birthday. The zoo is happy to report that Bowie is “nursing regularly, is very vocal and has a full, rounded tummy.” We can meet Bowie at the zoo in April.  

Looking for a Book Rec? We’ve got one. Stranger contributor Katie Lee Ellison talked to Freda Epum, the author of The Gloomy Girl Variety Show, and this book has everything: Explorations of personal relationships with TV; immigrant cultures and assimilation in the U.S.; addiction; the film industry; fantasy and delusion as blockers for a sense of self. And it’s all framed through a fictional episode of HGTV’s House Hunters. The book is Epum’s debut, and you shouldn’t miss it. 

The District 2 Race Is Underway: Adonis Ducksworth, Mayor Bruce Harrell’s transportation policy and operations manager, is running for Tammy Morales’s old city council seat. According to Stranger contributor Nathalie Graham, he may be the coolest person to ever run for the D2 seat: He’s a skateboarder, a high school golf champion, and he makes techno beats in his studio after his kids go to sleep. But is he ready for politics? Read about it here. 

A Little Layoff Context: Yesterday morning, Starbucks laid off 1,100 of its corporate employees. Sales have slipped for four straight quarters, so the company is tightening where it can—cutting out the more complicated, less popular drinks on its menu (we didn’t really need olive oil drinks from Starbucks), and reducing staff. Meanwhile, in October, the company increased the cash dividends for shareholders and compensated their new CEO to the tune of $96 million in just four months. In case you were wondering where the corporation’s priorities are.

Our Own Cartoon Villain: SPD arrested the suspected leader of a four-person crew that they believe stole more than $1 million by tearing open ATMs with the Jaws of Life. Prosecutors say the crew also caused more than $500,000 in property damage, most recently destroying the entire face of a BECU branch in Fremont with a stolen forklift to access the two ATMs inside. When the suspect was spotted in a parked car, and he realized police were closing in, he climbed through the car’s sunroof, dropped a large bag of what cops think was cocaine, and tried to run away. He was stopped and bitten by a police dog. This reads like a Batman: The Animated Series episode. 

Some Good News: We have a healthy baby girl in J-Pod. Scientists confirmed that J26 is female, which is very good news for a pod that’s been struggling to reproduce (no pressure, J-Dawg), and she’s thriving in her first month of life. Tahlequah, the orca mother who keeps breaking our hearts with her own broken heart, also seems to be recovering from her grief and caring for her two older sons. Do you think they know an entire city is rooting for them? 

Fuck You, Make Me: Twenty-one civil service employees—including engineers, data scientists, and product managers—resigned from DOGE this morning, saying in a letter that they refused to use their technical expertise to "dismantle critical public services." They warned that the remaining DOGE staff, who were recruited by Musk, were political ideologues who didn't have any of the expertise to downsize the government in a responsible way.

A Song for your Tuesday: Two of my favorite weirdos, Perfume Genius and Aldous Harding, are finally working together. It’s a match made in heaven—or maybe the gender-neutral bathroom of a queer bar. Either way, we love it.