Good Morning, Let’s Start with a Fun Headline: “Ancient three-eyed ‘sea moth’ used its butt to breathe.”
Trump Is in the Middle East: So far, he has received a “free” $400 million luxury jet, been greeted with red Cybertrucks and mounted camels, and signed a $200 billion Boeing deal. Lest you think this is all being done to secure investments for America or make a run for world peace, don’t forget: The Trump Organization, run by his idiot sons, announced in April and May that they plan to build “a Trump-branded luxury 18-hole golf course and a collection of luxury villas” near Doha, Qatar’s capital, and an 80-floor Trump International Hotel & Tower in “the heart of Dubai.” Funny timing.
Trump Is Also in Love with Syria’s President: After meeting Ahmed al-Sharaa on Tuesday, Trump beamed and called him a "young, attractive guy. Tough guy. Strong past.” And then he kind of bit his lower lip and blushed a little as he twirled a few locks of his hair around his finger. “Very strong past. Fighter," he added, before gazing out the window of Air Force One while his heart fluttered with anticipation at the thought of seeing him again.
About 1,000 Miles Away: An Indonesian hospital says Israel killed 50 people in an overnight attack on Gaza. They reported that “22 children and 15 women were among the dead.” Good thing Trump is in the Middle East right now to help mediate talks to end this continued onslaught that sure the fuck looks a lot like genocide! Oh, wait, that’s not right. He did start to talk to the Qatar Emir about how they could work together to stop Russia’s attacks on Ukraine, but then the dummy got distracted by “perfecto” marble.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Hates Fluoride: Last month, Kennedy’s Department of Health and Human Services directed the CDC to “make new recommendations on the addition of fluoride to U.S. water sources.” He wants them to ban it. He has called it “an industrial waste,” and said it causes “arthritis, bone fractures, bone cancer, IQ loss, neurodevelopmental disorders, and thyroid disease.” None of that is true. There are decades of scientific evidence to prove it. Now, Kennedy’s got his sights on fluoride supplements, which the CDC recommends for children who don’t have access to fluorinated water. How do we stop him? Impeachment? How does that work? Or, maybe we won’t have to! Maybe he’ll have to step down when he becomes debilitated by a rare bacterial infection.
Washington Joins More Federal Lawsuits Against Trump: On Tuesday, 20 states filed two lawsuits against the Trump administration for “claiming that the Trump administration is threatening to withhold billions of dollars in transportation and disaster-relief funds unless states agree to certain immigration enforcement actions,” reports the AP. Among them? Washington! Woo! Add this to the list of other lawsuits the state has filed, including one against his threat to withhold funding from public schools with certain diversity programs and one for the dismantling of the Department of Health and Human Services. KUOW has a tracker here. Take no shit, Nick Brown.
Speaking of Local Lawsuits: Washington’s case attempting to block Trump’s executive order revoking birthright citizenship arrives at the Supreme Court this week.
Microsoft Announces Layoffs: GeekWire reported yesterday that Microsoft “will lay off 1,985 workers in Washington state effective July 12.” GeekWire says 1,510 employees working in Microsoft offices will be impacted, along with 475 remote workers.
This Is Getting Depressing, Let’s Break for Another Fun Headline: “Ronan the Head-Bopping Sea Lion Proves Animals Can Keep A Beat.”
That Activist Is Still in That Tree: A Port Angeles resident who declined to be named climbed up 80 feet into a grand fir on May 8, hoping to “stop logging of an older forest on state lands in the Elwha watershed.” Dave Upthegrove is so mad. The tree sitter is posting updates on Instagram.
The Menendez Brothers Are Eligible for Parole: Yesterday, a Los Angeles judge resentenced Erik and Lyle Menendez to 50 years to life in prison with the possibility for parole. Judge Michael Jesic said he doesn’t think the brothers should be released immediately, but “one day they should get that chance,” reports CNN. The brothers have a parole board hearing scheduled for June 13.
Go See a Movie! The Seattle International Film Festival starts tomorrow, and we here at The Stranger watched literally ONE HUNDRED MOVIES that are scheduled to screen during the festival. Yay, us! Of the films we screened, we recommend 32 of them and insist you DO NOT MISS 18 of them. There is some really great shit showing this year! There’s a sweet documentary about an elderly cat sanctuary in Florida where the kitties get birthday parties; there’s a simultaneously enraging and inspiring documentary about the librarians fighting book bans in states like Texas, Florida, and Tennessee; and there’s a movie that starts with someone getting hit with a dirty 18-inch dildo, and it ends with a dance off, swords, and betrayal. Read it all here!
And Now, a Song: Earlier this month, Suzzalo released their debut album, The Quiet Year. I wrote a little bit about it in our Spring A&P issue in March. To quote myself: “The band came together in 2022 after vocalist/guitarist Rocky Votolato’s child unexpectedly died in a car accident. Music and loved ones being the balm that they are, Votolato channeled his grief into performing soaring, guitar-driven rock songs with old friends, including his Waxwing bandmate Rudy Gajadhar, Steve Bonnell of Schoolyard Heroes, and, for a few songs, Ben Gibbard of Death Cab for Cutie. You can almost hear the heart healing—or, at least, finding a sustainable balance of love and grief—within the melodies.” Their album release show is this Saturday at Madame Lous, and tickets are still available, and you should totally go.
