Expect tourists: AAA named Seattle the number one Labor Day destination, with thousands of domestic travelers expected to flock to the city over the long weekend. I can only assume these travelers are coming to say their last goodbyes. After all, Seattle is dying. Or perhaps they are missionaries coming to restore order in our anarchist hellhole. God bless them!

More travel means more traffic: The Washington Department of Transportation warned KING 5 that traffic will be nuts this weekend. Here’s what to watch out for if you’re planning on hitting the road in the next few days.

Get out of town: Our friends over at EverOut compiled a list of 10 of the biggest festivals around the state to help you “make the most of those extra 24 hours” this weekend. If you've got the bandwidth to drive to Spokane (and the gas money, holy shit) Pig Out in the Park is fun, and it's just a hop, skip, and a jump away from Coeur d’Alene, which is actually the best summer weekend destination.

But if you wanna stay in Seattle: Come on over to Cal Anderson Park for First Caturday Seattle. Through November, every first Saturday of the month you and your feline friend can take over the typically dog-infested park with other area cats. I would love to go, but I tried to introduce my tiny cat to Will Casey’s big cat, and my cat was so close to swinging at her. For everyone’s safety, she will stay home. 

A good tweeter: I admire the social media prowess of whoever runs the Washington State Department of Natural Resources, but as so many others also notice this goofy person’s talent, I fear the pendulum effect we often experience when things become popular online. I don’t want to see any of you hateful people deciding this is now “cringe.”

Buy some shit! Literally. KIRO 7 reported that “zoo doo,” the nutrient-rich poop of many zoo herbivores, will be available for purchase later this month at the Woodland Park Zoo. That zoo charges $6 for a bottle of water, but only $120 for a truckload of the Pacific Northwest's “most exotic compost.”

Beware the truck-eating bridge: In the past five years, a particularly low clearance bridge in Kirkland has caught at least 50 trucks, U-Hauls, and other tall vehicles by surprise. The Seattle Times reported that it would cost millions to replace the bridge, but getting rid of it would put pedestrians at risk. So a resident put up a shark-themed banner to warn drivers about the low bridge and so far it's done the trick.

The strike continues: Teachers in Kent have been on strike for over a week, demanding smaller class sizes, more support for students, and better wages. 

If you wanna hear more about what's new in labor this week: Check out Conor Kelley's labor column.

Facepalm for Facebook: This afternoon a King County Superior Court Judge ruled that Meta, formerly known as Facebook, intentionally broke the state’s campaign finance law over and over again. Former Stranger writer Eli Sanders broke the news on Twitter and has more background in his newsletter

For everyone who doubted me: Lol, more proof that the design review process does not guarantee a building will look better or even different. But it does guarantee a longer wait to get people into affordable units. My brain is on fire trying to understand the argument for not exempting affordable housing from this stupid process.  

The trees, Mr. President: President Joe Biden may have talked a big game about the environment when he celebrated Earth Day in Seattle, but Investigate West wrote that his climate policies don’t do enough to help forests in the Pacific Northwest. 

Obligatory Mar-a-Lago update: This morning the public got to see a more detailed inventory list of what the FBI found at the former president's house. Some of the highlights include a bunch of folders labeled “classified” with no documents inside and more than 10,000 government documents without a marking for their classification. 

Can you spot Biden some cash? The president asked Congress for $47 billion today. He wants to spend $13.7 billion on helping Ukraine, $17.1 billion for the ongoing COVID-19 response, $4.5 billion to fight monkeypox, and $6.5 billion for disaster relief, including for those affected by flooding in Kentucky.

New Year's Eve is 120 days away: Since we have a nice round number of days until New Year’s Eve, I would like to start my campaign to be on KING 5’s New Year’s Eve special. Last year, they literally animated the Space Needle so it would fly off into the night. This is something I need to be a part of. 

Getting it out of my system: For the next six weeks, half of my brain will be occupied by Taylor Swift in anticipation of her new album. I really don’t want to bug y’all by ending every Slog post I write with a Taylor Swift song (well, I do, but I don’t want to hear about it from the haters), so I decided to share a playlist that gives a comprehensive overview of Taylor Swift if you’d like to study up before her 10th studio album drops in October. If you listen in order, I put, like, a three-song “thesis” to set the tone, and then I picked a few songs to represent every album in order, ending with three more career highlights. I included very few singles in the later albums, so if you’ve only heard annoying radio shit, then this could give you a more complete look. Don’t make fun of me. Fuck you. Enjoy.