Comments

1
"...it's been going on nonetheless"!

No, it should say: "I have chosen to continue nonetheless." "It" doesn't go on. You either do something or you don't do it.
2
Not all of us use vibrators, Dan. Fingers are good.
Yes, LW. I think Dan has spoken the truth. After my son died, I'd often burst into tears after orgasms.
What the hell are you doing to yourself? Piss this 2nd guy off.. spend a little time alone as you shake the both of them out of your hair, and my bet is you'll have masturbation orgasms, sans tears.
3
The crying could be another form of release, made possible by the relaxation from masturbating/orgasming. Releasing stress through crying and laughing is pretty common. It would depend on whether the post-orgasm tears are accompanied by feelings of despair/loathing/depression, or something different entirely.
5
Mary Renault attributed something quite similar to Alexander the Great.
6
In my scientific study of one;
I had never( to my fading memory), burst into tears after sex/ orgasm, until after my son died.
7
This totally happens to me when I am feeling a little depressed, and especially when I'm feeling lonely. Because I'm pretty good at keeping my shit together and staying level emotionally, the crying is actually the clearest indication I get that I'm not happy and feeling down. And, when it doesn't stop and I'm crying *every single time* then I know I need to get a little assistance.

Take Dan's advice, ditch both of the dudes, and spend some time being awesome on your own. Maybe consider seeing a therapist to help for a bit, if that's your thing. Once you've given both of these guys a little distance, the clouds should part and the tears will dry. Good luck, I feel you.
8
It could simply be a physiological reaction to orgasm. I have often (but not always) experienced this. A few seconds after orgasm, a single wave of what felt like sadness, resulting in a small sob, fading rapidly. Like an undertow after a wave. Not connected to any lasting emotional state before, during or after the sexual activity and happening more often when I was alone. I think it's a brain chemical thing.
9
@3 is right on. Crying is a release. Coming is a release. It is not surprising that they are sometimes linked. Best sex I ever had, we had been in a nearly scalding hot tub which really got the endorphins going. I was on this crazy natural high, and after coming, I started to cry uncontrollably. Fortunately my partner did not take it as anything other than "holy shit, that was awesome." (Unfortunately, with the tears came so much oxytocin that a badly broken heart was inevitable, but that's a story for another time... or not.)
10
And again, a SLLOTD prompts a question I have been pondering. After coming, I experience a feeling of being very cold. This is not so problematic during sex with a warm-bodied partner but really annoying in the case of winter masturbation. And I bet some of my warm-bodied partners have interpreted my need for an immediate post-orgasmic cuddle as clingy/romantic rather than temperature related. Anyone else feel cold after they come?
11
"And I bet some of my warm-bodied partners have interpreted my need for an immediate post-orgasmic cuddle as clingy/romantic rather than temperature related."

FWIW, I tend to interpret my partners' needs for post-orgasmic cuddles as temperature-related rather than clingy/romantic, so I guess it evens out...

This might have something to do with several girlfriends (and my wife) greeting me with terms of endearment like "warm thing I can steal heat from" and "personal space heater."

...Maybe.
12
Three types of tears exist, all with different purposes. Basal tears are omnipresent in our eyes. These constant tears are what keep our eyes from drying out completely. The human body produces an average of 5 to 10 ounces of basal tears each day. They drain through the nasal cavity, which is the reason so many of us develop runny noses after a good sobfest.

The second type is reflex tears, which serve to protect the human eye from harsh irritants such as smoke, onions or even a very strong, dusty wind. To accomplish this feat, the sensory nerves in your cornea communicate this irritation to your brain stem, which in turn sends hormones to the glands in the eyelids. These hormones cause the eyes to produce tears, effectively ridding them of the irritating substance.

The third type of tears is emotional tears. It all starts in the cerebrum where sadness is registered. The endocrine system is then triggered to release hormones to the ocular area, which then causes tears to form. Emotional tears are common among people who see Bambi's mother die or who suffer personal losses.

The phrase "having a good cry" suggests that crying can actually make you feel physically and emotionally better, which many people believe. Some scientists agree with this theory, asserting that chemicals build up in the body during times of elevated stress. These researchers believe that emotional crying is the body's way of ridding itself of these toxins and waste products.

In fact, one study collected both reflex tears and emotional tears (after peeling an onion and watching a sad movie, respectively). When scientists analyzed the content of the tears, they found each type was very different. Reflex tears are generally found to be about 98 percent water, whereas several chemicals are commonly present in emotional tears. First is a protein called prolactin, which is also known to control breast milk production. Adrenocorticotropic hormones are also common and indicate high stress levels. The other chemical found in emotional tears is leucine-enkephalin, an endorphin that reduces pain and works to improve mood. Of course, many scientists point out that research in this area is very limited and should be further studied before any conclusion can be made.

So, eliminating your stressors should reduce the levels of the chemicals your body wants to get rid of. Make it through your divorce. Dump selfish prick married affair-guy immediately! Then the tears should subside. In the meantime, masturbate like crazy - it'll help you feel better in more ways than one!

Hey! Maybe I'll do the same!
13
Anybody else care to join us? :-)
14
Donny @13: No thanks, brrr, it's too cold! :)
Thank you for that fascinating post!
15
Sometimes women cry after they orgasm. Just something they do. Certainly not the most bizarre thing they do, if you ask me.

First time it happened to a lady I was with, I was pretty green at the time in the bedroom and thought I had done something horrible.
16
I def cry after orgasm...not every time and it's only ever happened with partnered sex. Sometimes it's just really intense. I'm a bit of an anxious person and sex is release hence the crying. Also, I find that the more I like the person and the more loosely defined the relationship the more emotional I am. Though, it could happen in a more stable relationship as well. If it worries you or you think the crying is trying to tell you something, try some CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) apps, mindfulness, a therapist, or all of the above.
17
Bi @10: I am cold much of the time. During good sex, I tend to lose track of that--this is almost certainly biologically useful--and throw off covers and other impediments (not to mention clothes). Once I come I almost immediately notice again that I'm cold. Covers go back up and over, and my personal space heater (a term I like too, Eud) gets himself a second job.
18
So we're all taking her word for it that her husband is a "not nice guy" and her married boyfriend is a "selfish prick", and just ignoring the one common denominator in both of those relationships?
19
I had an ex who cried every time she came. Could be unrelated to all of her issues.
20
I think as this is a new behavior, it's likely related to the emotional chaos she's in. She needs to stop f-king the married dude now - rip that band-aid off - and get through the divorce. Maybe when she can look at herself in the mirror, she'll stop crying.

@18. Who knows. Maybe none of them are nice people.

Data point of one, I don't cry after sex or organism. Interesting other people do. Do men?
21
I dated a guy in college who used to weep briefly after coming. I thought it was adorbs and a sign that he was getting a lot out of the experience (he seemed very very happy before he would start crying). Anyway, since then I have heard quite a few women make jokes about men who do this, which I find horribly rude.
22
@9; Fan.. That damn oxytocin again.
23
@19 roof; that must have been hard, for both of you. Maybe just a very sensitive nervous system on her, orgasm set off other parts of her.
24
Raggeddog @18: No, I don't think anyone missed the fact that it's LW who has such appalling taste in men, and insufficient self-esteem to know that she deserves better.
25
Women's emotional control center in the brain shuts off during an orgasm. http://www.foxnews.com/story/2005/06/21/…
26
I disagree with Dan's guess. My guess (similarly with no research or data) is that some people cry after coming. Orgasm is accompanied by a whole bunch of little understood hormones and brain chemicals. Tears are associated with all sorts release of emotions. They don't have to make sense. People can cry from happiness, cry from release, cry in moments of fear or anger and gosh near everything else. All this may or may not be related to the current relationship situation. I don't cry every time I come, but I have been known to. More likely, for me, I'll cry when I'm in the midst of the intensity of the mix of emotions including getting turned on. This has never bother me or scared me. Once I had to explain that there was nothing wrong to the guy I was with. The others just went along with me and let me sob for a bit.

As for the married man not giving you as much attention as he should-- Actually, he shouldn't be giving you any attention. He shouldn't even be fucking you. (Unless there's some information left out about how it's an open marriage, and by context I'm guessing it's not.)

Not that you asked, but I recommend treatment for the depression and therapy anyway for the ongoing bad decisions.

(This is coming from Crinoline. I'm not sure why posts from that account stopped showing up. I've signed in again from a different name, Fichu.)
27
Crinoline: my login also stopped working ("incorrect password") but clicking on the "reset password" link fixed it. Not sure if this is the same problem you are having.

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