No YOURE out of order
"No YOU'RE out of order" Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

Welp, this should be awkward. Hillary was spozed to easily win two states last night, according to the data, but instead she only picked up one, and was slightly edged out in the other. Whoops! Now she and Bernie will face off in a lip-sync for their life, parroting their same old talking points with more fervor than ever before.

This is Bernie's last big chance to make his case before Other-Super-Tuesday voting next week. He's expected to lose most of those races, but hey, expectations suddenly aren't worth as much as they were 24 hours ago. Looking forward to seeing how well he's able to restrain his gloating tonight.

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6:02 That whooshing sound you hear is CNN viewers around the country gasping in shock that the hosts are only speaking in Spanish.

6:03 One of the translators just referred to the candidates as "the protagonists of the debate."

6:05 Of all the debates, this might be the nicest rendition of the National Anthem. It's still a terrible song, though. I wish we sang it with the original lyrics.


6:11 Applause for Bernie's line about overturning Citizens United, rigged elections, you know the drill. Huge applause for combatting climate change.

6:13 "What went wrong in Michigan?" asks a moderator. Hillary dodges, just says she was pleased overall.

6:14 Question about whether Bernie can catch up with Hillary. "We've come a long way in ten months," he says.


6:15 Question for Hillary about the email stuff. She says it wasn't a good idea, but didn't do anything that wasn't allowed. The stuff that's supposedly "classified" wasn't classified when she sent it.

6:16 Hillary said she didn't need permission to set up her own email server. "If you get indicted will you drop out?" says the moderator. Hillary: "Oh for goodness, that is not going to happen. I'm not even going to answer that question."

6:18 "Is Donald Trump a racist?" Hillary takes a moment to consider that, smiling in the way one does when they have just been offered a giant slice of cake. "There's going to be a lot of time to talk about him," she says. When pressed, she says "what he has promoted is not at all in keeping with American values."


6:22 The moderators have a great technique for pushing questions at the candidates: they shout at them while the audience is applauding. Candidates are unwilling to interrupt the applause but the moderators are really aggressive.

6:23 They just played a clip from 2007 of Bernie criticizing guest worker programs. A little shocking how Kathleen-Turner his voice has gotten over the last nine years.

6:26 Some sparring over immigration reform. Bernie says Hillary opposed driver's licenses for undocumented immigrants, wanted to send back child refugees. She says that's not true, that the kids needed due process.

6:30 Everyone is very excited for the Republican debate tomorrow!


6:32 We're in a commercial. Repeated ads for retirement services, including one that features a person using a typewriter. So that should tell you everything you need to know about who's paying attention to this debate.

6:33 According to some random person standing next to a Facebook infographic, the primary issues women are talking about are the economy, religion, abortion. Men are talking about government ethics, racial problems, and the economy. Okie dokie. Most of those topics haven't come up yet, but good to know, I guess.

6:38 Bernie says Hillary should have done more to welcome child refugees.

6:41 Hillary says Bernie supported the Minutemen, and also pronounces "vigilantes" with an ahh in the middle. Vigilahhntes. It's like how Bea Arthur pronounced resumé like resyewmay.

6:43 It is exasperating how bad whoever's operating the mixer tonight is at anticipating when somone's going to talk. The first 10 seconds of anyone's speech are the echoes picked up by other mics before that person's microphone is turned back on.

6:44 Bernie talks over his allotted time and the moderators keep telling him "YOUR TIME IS UP SENATOR," but for some reason this is the only time that his microphone is turned on for the entire time he is talking.

6:46 Hillary's doing a little observational comedy on Trump's wall. "I understand it's going to be a beautiful tall wall. That he's magically going to get Mexico to pay for."

6:50 Something's screwy with the translators. Their audio's been turned way down so you can hear THAT they're talking, but not WHAT they're saying. Bernie misunderstands some details in a question from a woman in the audience who brought her kids with her. "I will do everything that I can to unite your family," he says, "Your children deserve to be with their mother."

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6:52 As the candidates answer the audience member's question, a host stands by her side, whispering a translation to her in Spanish. It's kind of lovely, a demonstration of how we can all live and get along in a multilingual society.

6:56 Bernie hits Hillary again on her secret speeches to banks. "I would think if the speech is so great you got paid $250,000, you'd like to share it with the American people."

6:59 And now Comcast would like me to take a 2 minute break from blogging for my internet to go out and then return, as it does several times a day. Maybe someone can ask the candidates about breaking up telecom monopolies? Pleasantly, both Democrats are on the right side of net neutrality.

7:02 Huge boos from the audience when the moderator brings up Benghazi. "I feel a great deal of sympathy for the families of the four brave Americans that we lost at Benghazi," Hillary says. But the mother of one of the victims, who has accused Hillary of lying about the attack, "is wrong." She adds, "I testified for eleven hours ... I answered every question that I was asked, and when it was over the Republicans had to admit that they hadn't learned anything."


7:06 Apparently Justin Bieber is performing tonight in Seattle so a lot of you are probably reading about the debate from there


7:09 An unsettlingly sexual commercial about "the next generation of tile" at Home Depot. "So when your friends start touching your new tile, you'll know, yeahhhh, this tile's for real."

7:14 Bernie says "huge" and then rolls his eyes as people applaud for his use of the word. Everyone take a drink.

7:18 Opportunity for Bernie to clarify his college tuition thing. It would be free at public universities, he says. Today college degrees are pretty vital, and that nobody should be saddled with crazy debt. "We're going to raise the taxes on the top 1%," he says. "Everyone should have a right to get a higher education."

7:20 Question from audience about paying for education. "We're going to refinance everyone's student debt," says Hillary, and that student loan interest rates are outrageous. "You can refinance your house to get a better interest rate," so students should be able to as well. Highlights her plan for debt-free tuition. "The government has to quit making money off of young people." Bernie agrees, which feels nice, and then he ruins it: "I said it months ago. Thanks for copying a very good idea."

7:26 If you're looking for a little break from the issues of the day:


7:25 Oh wow Bernie just said something I've been complaining about: "Many of you may have insurance but you have outrageously high deductibles or copays," and that it's nice that Obamacare has reduced the number of uninsured people but their coverage is pretty bad. It's true — for example, I pay $200 a month for health care with Ambetter, but they won't cover anything until I pay $6,000 out of pocket in a year, so I've been thinking about going back to being uninsured.

7:31 Hillary refuses to let Bernie interrupt her. Audience goes crazy with applause when she gives him a sharp "EXCUSE ME" and keeps talking. Bernie looks annoyed at this, and makes a gesture like a person at a restaurant who needs a new spoon.

7:35 Batman is looking forward to tomorrow night's Republican debate.


7:42 Playing a clip of Bernie praising Castro back in the 80s while doing an interview with a student reporter who looks like Anthony Michael Hall. Asked if he regrets praising Cuba. He dodges and praises Cuba's health care and education. Hillary hits back on that, says that the totalitarian regime "is not the kind of revolution of values I want to see anywhere." Huge applause from the crowd. (This is happening in Miami, remember.)

7:48 Question about Supreme Court and abortion. I believe this is the first abortion question of any Democratic debate. Hillary says she wants a nominee who believes that Roe v. Wade is settled law.

7:52 They just tossed to a commercial, but not before a quick promo for I DON'T KNOW WHAT


7:54 This is apparently what the moderators just promoted before the commercial break?

7:57 Closing statements are the same boilerplate as always. Bernie gets really bombastic and gets giant applause and a standing ovation from some people. He smiles, and Hillary chuckles while probably envisioning various murder weapons.

9:00 And we're done. See you tomorrow night for the next one, good God.

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