Savage Love Letter of the Day: Bastards Out of North Carolina

Comments

1
Sometimes it's just one person's doing - remember Susan Komen's defunding of Planned Parenthood? Nature Conservancy is also having problems because of a leader who isn't much interested in conservation of anything except perhaps his high salary and relationships with Big Biz. This is the problem when nonprofits hire MBAs to run their organizations.
Who's running HRC?
2
One should be sitting down before reading the third paragraph of that Salon article Dan linked to about Indiana.
3
I just sent Visit North Carolina a nasty note about their wretched state as Dan advised. Maybe if we all do this it'll have an effect on these horrible people.
4
I live Raleigh. This is awful and people who aren't bigoted fuckfaces are afraid for themselves or their friends and family.

Republican control has gerrymandered the state all to hell we have had YEARS of organized protests here in the capital.

Please, please help us by continuing to put pressure on our state government and businesses. The reason they rushed a emergency session to get this passed in one day is because they saw what happens when you give people time to fight back in TN.
5
Could anyone please explain to me what the Q is supposed to mean? I never understood that.
6
@rowan Q is queer, i.e. not straight or cis, but some people prefer this label as an umbrella term for LBGT and more fluid sexualities or gender identities and included changeable or not sure.

This spate of can't-go-to-the-bathroom-if-you're-not-exactly-like-everyone-else bills, just does my head in. It just makes no frickin' sense that cis men will dress up as women to be able to go into toilets and attack people. This never happens! And you really think someone intent on violence will pay attention to a no-going-into-the-other-gender-bathroom rule?

On the other hand, trans people being attacked physically and verbally happens all the time and this kind of nonsense will make it worse, and life generally more miserable for trans individuals. It is such blatant, wild-eyed hatred for the vulnerable, harmless other that I do not know how these people sleep at night. Why, fuckers, why on earth?
7
#thehatestate
8
Kansas is currently trying to push through some Hate Legislation at the moment as well, regarding our transgendered community and using gender-at-birth to determine bathroom use.
9
#WeAreNotThis has surfaced, and all of us in NC who aren't bigoted, trans-erasing, racist, power-tripping wastes-of-space are using it. We're not all haters.

While hating on @VisitNC is helpful, what would be even better, and even more helpful given that there is a general election in Nov, would be to pour $$$ into Roy Cooper's campaign for governor, and the many challengers to the GOP dominated State Senate and General Assembly.

Help us throw the bums out of office!
10
This may generate hate mail, but...
This is an election year. The Rs will do anything to get the haters' out to vote because the haters vote overwhelmingly R. Could all these anti-LGBT bills be aimed at ensuring a heavy R turnout, and an R President?

Before you scoff, remember a few years back when the huge "we're voting against gay marriage" surge also kept George W in office? That was orchestrated. This could be, also.

I will let NC know how I feel -- and I always spend part of the summer on Emerald Isle, NC -- BUT I won't get loud until AFTER the November election. I do not want any of the Rs running to be our President. Keep the haters home and away from the polls.
11
@ 10, two can play that game. These hate bills can be used to energize the progressive vote. And there are more moderate and neutral people than there are haters.
12
I'm hoping the moderates and neutral folks are already galvanized and energized enough to get to the polls. The Rs got the hate vote out to win a second term for W. There is no reason to let that ploy work again...and give us someone worse than W.
13
Rowan @5 and Deirdre @6, I thought the "Q" was for "Questioning"...i.e., people who are still trying to identify their own sexuality, and who are exploring the LGBT community for possible answers. In a society where discrimination against non-cis, non-straight people is still rampant, the "Q" in LGBTQ acknowledges that proudly "out" LGBT folks need to be understanding, loving, and patient with people (especially teens and young adults) who are still struggling to figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how they want to present themselves to the world. Questioners need a strong social support system as they start to explore and develop their authentic sexuality, particularly if their family, religion, and local norms are not supportive, and the LGBTQ community has provided encouragement and enlightenment for many Qs over the years.
14
As I understand it, there is a longer initialism that includes additional letters for Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, etc., but the first Q stood for Queer to represent what wasn't captured by the L, G, B, or T. I could be wrong, though...
15
Both Urban Dictionary and the New York Times say

LGBTQIA means "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transsexual, Queer, Intersex, Asexual."
And Urban Dictionary has LGBTQQIAAP as "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Allies and Pansexual." Nice to see "Allies" in that one.
16
Sandiai @15 - Not to beat a dead horse, but I just looked up LGBTQ at Urban Dictionary and got "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Questioning" as the first and most popular choice. One poster commented that she thought people said "Questioning" because they were afraid to say "Queer." Here's the link:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…

It may well be that the "Questioning" term isn't as badly needed now as it was when it was added to the LGBT acronym, I think it was in the early 90s. We went through a fairly nasty time of "involuntary outing" and "outing for your own good" by certain fringe groups and individuals, and the community had to more or less police its own to show that kindness and tolerance were preferable to shaming and back-stabbing people who were not yet ready to come out. Involuntary outing was especially traumatic for young people who were already in pain and struggling with their identity and their sexuality, and the term "Questioning" was added to show more inclusion and acceptance within the LGBT community for these folks. Today, many high schools have a straight-gay alliance or an LGBTQ student support group, and it's more acceptable (in some places, certainly not all) to be open about being non-straight or non-cis. Language shifts over time, and maybe "Questioning" is gradually being replaced by "Queer" because there is increasingly less need for the former and more need for the latter.

However, I think it's still taboo to use "Queer" in public conversation unless you are using it to describe yourself, or quoting a term someone you know very well uses for themselves, i.e., "Gloria identifies as queer."
17
Thank you Dan, for bringing up the shit show that passes for women's rights in Indiana.
18
Looks like bringing up trans issues in an election year is yet another republican attempt to excite the base.
As some of you may recall same sex marriage was the one in 2004, yet despite some short term losses it is now the law of the land.
We shall overcome!
19
@16, I'm cool with that.
20
May I humbly suggest if you feel strongly enough to to blow up VisitNC's Twitter and change your travel plans, you may also want to throw some change to the good people on the ground here?

https://equalitync.org/action/donate/

#WeAreNotThis
21
done and done.
22
I encourage us to keep this front and center with the businesses who do business and have employees in NC. An example is TIAA. This NY based investment firm with an excellent reputation has 1000s of employees in Charlotte. TIAA has yet to make a public statement regarding this law like IBM, American Airlines, etc have already done. It was corporate push back that stopped this in Georgia.
23
So I was at Costco a few weeks ago, and had to use the restroom. In the (women's) restroom, we a 65 ish male assisting his probably 90 year old mother. It was Costco, on a Saturday afternoon--it was crazy nuts busy. This (wonderful) son was helping his mom, she was upset, he was uncomfortable. This stupid law would make the man's actions illegal!! What about the old, disabled and ill that require assistance. The AARP should be in protest. Shameful!!!
24
@18 -- that's what I'm writing of. We have legal marriage now, but change the Supreme Court and who knows? The next President will be in charge of nominations. We have to keep our eyes on the Presidency. Those anti-trans bills can be battled after we get it.

The short-term effect of the 2004 anti-gay marriage bills was a high R turnout at the polls. The Rs knew that same-sex marriage would pass eventually, BUT they wanted to get out the haters. It gave Rs the presidency. And gave us Iraq and that whole mess. That's longer-term.

Protests, marches, etc. will give us a President that will NOT be supportive. They may give us a President who will demonize us. We need an allies in the White House. Eyes on the prize. Get the Presidency first.
25
I'm a North Carolina guy, and I agree. Boycott. Let our state know. But that's not enough.

If you really want to make a difference, know that our governor McCrory is among the most vulnerable Republicans in the nation. Our Attorney General, Roy Cooper, is relevant for two reasons:
1) He's said his office cannot and will not defend this new law, due to its unconstitutionality.
2) He's McCrory's opponent in November.

So, you wanna show these bastards that they can't get away with this, and you live in a state so blue that you know how November will turn out for you? Send a few bucks Roy Cooper's way, help all of us rid the state of McCrory's stink!

Second, national LGBT organizations too often blow off the South, figuring there's no way to make progress here. Imagine if in the 1950s civil rights leaders had had the same attitude. It's negligent nonsense. Throw support behind organizations like the Campaign for Southern Equality, who are fighting the good fight here in the South.

Boycotts are great and necessary, but if you want to make a difference, support those who work for positive change.
26
I think the best protest against this law would be RADICAL OBEDIENCE. Trans women (with male birth certificates) need to FILL the public restrooms of NC. They need to hog the mirrors to apply makeup, primp, brush their hair and spray clouds of hairspray, adjust their bras, apply nauseatingly sweet perfume, pull up their skirts to adjust their pantyhose, try to see if their dresses look good from the back... EVERYTHING we all do in the women's bathrooms. And a one thing we don't do in the women's room - struggling to pull up skirts and pull down girdles and hose to use the urinals.

I call on the LGBT community! Target the most high profile public restrooms in government buildings, sports arenas, etc. No man in North Carolina should be able to go into a public restroom that is not filled with women (with male birth certificates).