I'm a 27-year-old straightish girl who likes a little dominance in her life. I'm not into being humiliated or extreme pain, but I like to be lovably forced into rougher sex. Lots of talk, caressing, and deep fucking.
I've recently met this guy who's dominant—and holy shit is he hot. Before meeting with him I was very clear that I don't like anal; in fact I reiterated it several times. When we met, he had the perfect loving dominant attitude, something I've never experienced before despite my efforts to explain to men what I want. During our first meeting, he wants me to do anal. Not that day but eventually. Tonight, our second meeting, he wanted to put something in my ass. Let me tell you it is very awkward to tell a Dom no in the middle of a scene. I've agreed to try it though, after a proper cleaning and slowly—but 100% because he wants it so much.
Outside of the bedroom he's cool, respectful and loving. I just don't know how to assert my boundaries or even if I should. Should I just do it? Making him happy makes me happy but god I really hate anal.
I'm not smart enough to come up with an acronym. Let's just go with...
HATES ANAL HATES ANAL HATES ANAL
P.S Attaching a pic so you can see how hot he is.
He’s hot—sure, yeah, total hottie. I'd do him. Twice. But he lacks respect for your boundaries. So... you should stop seeing him. There are lots of other men out there, HAHAHA, and lots of them are hot and some of those hot guys are into D/s sex and some of those hot guys into D/s sex have a healthy respect for their subs' boundaries.
A hot guy is a hot guy, I know, they're nice to have around, and it's a bummer to cut one loose. But trust me: A hot guy who seems likely to violate your trust/ass/boundaries, and potentially leave you and your ass traumatized, isn’t worth it.—Dan
Thank you! I actually sent him this today:
"Hey there, so I have a problem. I absolutely love how dominant you are; I love the way you talk to me, touch me, etc. it's fantastic and I've never had someone do it better. However, I really can't do anything anal-related. Like I seriously can't. I'd still love to continue, have you tie me up and have anyone you want use me and abuse me, all of that. But it's a no-go with anal. If this is a deal breaker for you like it is for me, I'll understand. I do want to continue but it's up to you and I'll respect your choice. Thanks, hun."
If he resists at all, I'll know for sure he's just not the one. Thank you x 1,000,000 for replying!—HAHAHA
In my opinion, HAHAHA, allowing someone who has already demonstrated his disregard for your limits—by attempting to renegotiate your ‘no anal’ limit during a scene, a time when you were in (or trying to stay in) a submissive headspace, a time when you were therefore less likely to say "no" for fear of "ruining" the scene—allowing that guy to tie you up and let others use you? Well, that sounds like a very bad idea to me. If I were you, HAHAHA, I would be concerned about him "outsourcing" anal to one of those other guys, i.e. turning a blind eye when someone else violates your "no anal" limit while you're helpless.
But maybe this is Worst Case Scenario Disorder run amuck. Maybe this hot guy is a great guy—and a hot guy—and a really good Dom and he was pushing your limits and not attempting to violate them and he'll take your "NONONO" for an answer (after failing to take your "no" for an answer) and makes your limits are respected by the other guys he lets use you when you're tied up. But on the off chance he isn't a great guy... I don't think you should risk it, HAHAHA, I just don't.
And there's also this: anal is clearly something he wants. It's not something you want—not at all—so he's the wrong Dom for you, HAHAHA, and you're the wrong sub for him. Pull the plug.—Dan
Good point. You're right, it's over. Oh well, there are more fish in the sea. Thank you.—HAHAHA