Theres an election today!
There's an election today? Why yes, there's an election today! Sean Nelson

The Republican presidential nominee is already a foregone conclusion and the Washington State Democrats already used the March 26 caucuses to begin apportioning convention delegates. (Therefore the state Democratic party will be ignoring today's primary results.)

So why the hell does today's $11.5 million statewide presidential primary even exist?

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As in all matters, consult John Oliver and then vote your conscience. (Full disclosure: While the Stranger Election Control Board does control elections in this state, someone must have slipped this late-May primary idea past us when we were in the sensory deprivation tank learning how to dab—not entirely recommended, by the way, but very exfoliating!)

PS: Drop box locations and last-minute lost ballot fixes can be found right here.

This trumpkin is scary enough. Please vote.
Then score some dank herb from Ruckus to help with the stress.