With each passing day, fewer and fewer of us are.
With each passing day, fewer and fewer of us are. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

Poor Bernie Sanders must've gotten quite a scare this week when a bunch of spooky ghosts chased him around a haunted house moaning "boo." Well, technically, they were Democratic members of Congress in a private meeting on Capitol Hill, but still, "boo" was definitely said.

The booing was prompted, according to staffers who were present, by Bernie's comment that, "The goal isn't to win elections. The goal is to transform America." This probably goes over well when addressing rallies and small birds, but Bernie really misjudged his audience here. He might as well have said, "the goal isn't to protect your jobs, but to throw you out of office." So no wonder they were like, bye, Senator Felicia (D-Sashaying).

Bernie is now so far our of the race that we are no longer plagued by "what's next for Bernie" thinkpieces, so it seems a bit late to be worrying about his endorsement. When's the last time you even saw a Bernie article? Outside of Reddit, I mean. But better late than never, I guess, and now stories of an impending endorsement are oozing out of both campaigns like squozen blackheads.

Behind the fanfare of the impending endorsement, there have apparently been some successful deals made: Hillary just announced an affordable-college plan that is basically what Bernie wanted, so it looks like he was at least able to talk her into that. Maybe we'll see her adopt some more of his policies before the endorsement comes... but I'm not holding my breath.

"I am going to use all the leverage I have," Sanders said on MSNBC the other day. And what leverage is that, exactly? Bernie comes to the table with an engaged base of voters and small donors. If Hillary was Olenna Tyrell, I can only imagine the scathing eye-roll she'd give that bargaining position. (In this metaphor, let's assume Bernie is represented by all three Sand Snakes. I know this is a painful comparison for those who support him.)

Support The Stranger

With the cheap-college plan, Hillary will gobble up as many of Bernie's youthful supporters as she can. But conceding on other issues — social security, minimum wage, whether Hamilton is really better than In the Heights — might not net her more new voters but could alienate old ones.

In fact, it's hard to imagine his endorsement even meaning much at this point. Yeah, sure, it's nice to know that Bernie's on her side, but so what? Was anyone waiting for this? It's like Donald Trump getting an endorsement from 1996 Vice Presidential candidate Jack Kemp. (Yes, I know he's dead.)

The Bernie show was fun. He did a little good. He pulled her to the left. Like a responsible vacationer, he left the campsite in better condition than he found it — but the long weekend's been over for a while now, and it's time to go back to work.