It's the patron saint of DRE (digital rectal exam) sufferers. Saint Prostapoked.

St. Krampus?

I had no luck..

http://www.americancatholic.org/Features…

I am kind of leaning to Patron Saint of Skin Diseases, Occam Razor kind of hints to the poor or sickness. I thought at first it could be plague or maybe farming, but I don't know..

My two guesses are (1) some local martyr from the Reformation/Counter-Reformation era (based mostly on the hat of the praying guy), or (2) Saint Paul in the midst of his conversion vision (but portrayed in then-modern clothes), possibly with Ananias of Damascus.

The guys who's doing the non-consensual groping is not the saint--he's the trial the saint is suffering. Since he's non-aggressively trying to edge away and pray that the obnoxious groper will stop or be struck down with boils -- as I assume happened mere moments later, which is why this lovely little scene is reproduced in a church -- I think he's St. "Please-Let-Him-Stop-And-Just-Go-Away": the patron saint of the non-assertives of the world.

Saint Handy.

The one giving looks like a combination of a satyros and a Devil, could it represent temptation? Ergo, the receiver could be Saint Anthony?

No idea, and boy am I glad I'm not Catholic.

Well, the guy on the left has a short sword on his belt, so he's not likely the saint. More likely he's the tormentor of the saint (on the right) who is about to be martyred and is praying to be taken into heaven. Often that will be combined with an angel above the saint, handing a palm branch to him, the palm branch being the symbol of martyrdom. What I can't figure out is where is the rest of the saint's body? It looks almost as if he's coming up out of the ground or sinking down into it.

I think it's Santa Claus. St. Nicholas of Myra is the patron saint of thieves because he convinced thieves to return their pelf. That's what this looks like to me.

PS - I read the word 'pelf' when I was 12 and reading an old book of Robert Service poems I'd found. It's been 20 years and I finally get to use it. Thank you Dan Savage.

It would help to know where exactly the photo was taken. The statues are 17th-century terracotta (similar to what was being done in Naples and ponts south), but I'm not able to identify the specific saint.

Patron Saint of Quality Footwear.

Saint "Please-God-Let-Me-Use-My-Words"? AKA the "Patron Saint of Medieval Assertiveness Training."

Would this be Abraham’s servant swearing an oath by putting his hand under Abraham’s thigh to to find a wife for Isaac?

http://www.gotquestions.org/hand-under-t…

I heard you're the Patron Saint of Cookies, Dan.

The guy on the left is a physician surely. Does this hurt if I touch you here? It's probably a prostrate examination.

I believe they call this "Ye Holy Hand-Grenade."

Patron Sainf of Butt Stuff?

Let us pray.

People have been sticking things in their butts since they learned there was a hole, and you would have high praise indeed for the guy who could get a stuck item out. Patron saint of proctology on the left.

The fellow on the left represents priests the world over, the sword indicating the power they have as they carry out their fiduciary duty to the world's children. The alarmed, praying fellow on the right represents the world's altar boys. He's represented as an adult to remind children who see this duo that they will still be traumatized by the reacharounds even into their adulthoods, with remaining alarmed, silent and simply ineffectually praying being the course of action the statue (and the church) recommend. It serves also as a reminder to adult former victims of abuse that they should remember to shut it. In other words, the caged statue is meant to remind those former victims of abuse that they should remain caged, alarmed and silent.

Or, isn't this just Thomas checking out JC's under-the drapery wounds?