Im just looking for the nearest circus, I swear
I'm just looking for the nearest circus, I swear. Kobzev Dmitry/Shutterstock.com

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America has a waking nightmare on its hands. No, not the prospect of President Donald Trump or climate change killing us all—well, yes those things—but in addition, our nation is also being plagued by creepy clowns. Reported sightings began in South Carolina on August 21 and have since spread to at least 10 states.

Are we safe here in Washington? Nope. According to Tacoma paper The News Tribune, clowns have been spotted hanging out in the woods and hiding under bridges in Pierce County. You know, the usual places where clowns hang out.

In response to the reports of jesters, Pierce County spokesperson Ed Troyer told The News Tribune: "It's not illegal to be a clown."

Here is a video of a clown walking down the street in Tacoma:


Reports of clowns have also spread to Spokane, where the Grant County Sheriff took to Twitter to calm clown-related hysteria:


Apparently, the clowns have infiltrated our bastions of higher education, as well.

According to a warning posted in a Washington State University greek organization's Facebook group, this clown was hanging out on Greek Row yesterday evening. We guess he didn't have class this morning.

Screenshot
Creeeeeepy Facebook screenshot

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Note the clown is holding what looks like a pizza box. Clowns gotta eat, too.

We did some actual journalism on this story and reached out to the Pullman Police department who told us that neither they, nor WSU campus police, have received reports about clowns around campus: "We saw some chatter about it on Twitter, so at this point it appears to be a social media rumor."

Sure.