In eight days, the internet can go back to what the internet does best: showing us what newborn kittens look like.
In eight days, the internet can go back to what the internet does best: showing us what kittens look like. Kitten/Shutterstock

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When. Is this. Going to be over. Longest, most draining election of all time? Easily. Some news sources say "Trump continues to narrow the gap with Clinton." Others say "Comey's bombshell changes few votes." All I can tell you is: I. Can't. Take. This. Any. More.

Can you? No, you can't. None of us can. So what can you do?

1. Sign Sheryl Crow's petition to shorten the election cycle. This is the only good thing Sheryl Crow has ever done. Bette Midler has signed it. Christina Applegate has signed it. "By tweaking the Presidential primary calendar," the petition says, "the DNC and RNC could drastically reduce the amount of time we are exposed to presidential campaigns." We've gotten to the point in civilization where we talk about presidential campaigns like we talk about toxic waste.

2. Watch Barack Obama sing to a kid dressed up as Prince at the White House yesterday.

3. Look at the paws on this little kitty.

Awwwwwwwww. Kitten/Shutterstock

4. Watch videos of cute puppies interacting with cute kittens.

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5. Enjoy Will Ferrell as George W. Bush talk about "disgraced pumpkin Donald Trump." Trigger warning: this is mildly election-related.

6. Read this essay by Zadie Smith about the connection between writing and dancing. Relevance to the election: 0.