I think Trump supporters can screw themselves without our help.

as long as you killed him after you fucked him, it's ok.

Always lovely to see a block quote from Andrew Sullivan, the peerless pontificator of the past - wisdom incarnate if you enjoy 20/20 hindsight and a legend in his own mind. I think you could have made your point better and more concisely with your own words, Dan.

@3 actually LW, tell him you're into really kinky all-day sex that will BLOW his mind.

Then, on Nov. 8, tie him up from dawn until after the polls close.

Especially if you're in a swing state OR in a Congressional district with a Republican Congressperson and a close race, or in a state with a Republican senator up for re-election / close race.

@4 agree. Sullivan is a darling of "serious" people but more often than not he backs Conservative ideas. Most Conservatives are not Trump, but most Conservatives signed on years ago to the truth-ignoring, tax-cutting-mantra, Hilary-bashing that led to Trump.

In fairness to Mr Savage, he just took the line that Trump supporters don't deserve to love or be loved, and the calls for divorce came from the commentariat. I am going to ding him, though, for his framing of the Financial Excuse for not leaving as if, for one thing, he's trying to jockey LW into that position, and for another, he's setting up a model of one partner's (presumably a woman) stringing the other partner along until she can leave while extracting the maximum quantity of resources and leaving the other partner financially decimated. It's similar to his position on cheating, where he claims not to be giving cheaters hall passes while simultaneously laying out the blueprint for cheaters to say all the right things to get the pass.

The only political advice I'm going to consider is from Noam Chomsky: If I live in a swing state, it's a binary choice. Otherwise, I'll vote for whoever I want. I'm tired of pretending that every vote counts- and it does in theory but in practice the electoral college matters.

But most of all, I am tired of White people losing their goddamned minds over this election. As a non-white person, I can tell you that I am deeply disappointed in the Democratic Party who has not challenged power in decades, The last liberal was probably McGovern. Who spoke out against the mass incarceration of communities of color? Whose platform was addressing the blight of inner ciites? Who championed against the re-segregation of our schools or the chipping away of the Voting Rights Act? Now my area is getting gentrified and my cohorts are saddled with student debt that their parents cannot alleviate and I'm supposed to pretend that much will change after the election?

It's not Hillary's fault, the nation is deeply divided and the hypocrisy is apparent. She lacks integrity and will not speak truth to power. It's politics when the game is to win. This rings hollow to the under-served communities that look to politics to make the game fair. If Trump wins, I keep fighting. If Clinton wins, I keep fighting.

Did you know that New York City is today the most segregated in terms of schools? Progressives in word, not deed.

Pizza over gumbo? No way. Gumbo has style, class. Pizza suggests a 2nd choice or something not worth the effort.

@7, if Clinton wins, you keep fighting. If Trump wins, you've lost the fight.

@9 Not really. If Clinton wins, I have the illusion of change; Trump wins, people show up rallies/protests. Also, being president doesn't make you Supreme Ruler. There are still checks and balances. Obama was stymied by many forces. So will Trump. So will Clinton. Gridlock and division abounds!

trump has exposed thru his repulsive thug man behaviour, the corruption that has been occurring thru out US politics. So many crooks seem to have big positions of power. They've all shown themselves now. The ugliest and grossest being the old white men with their fat bellies.
If America votes in a man who is about to go to trial for rape, I'd be starting to lock up my daughters.

Trump has real small hands you all knows what that means that's why he raped a kid 13 he has to pay a hooker for sex the orange Dump is a very nasty beast ,boy cut all his crap .

Yes. LW. You're forgiven if you return to his house and give him an almighty slap across the face. If men are going to support a low life like trump whose attitudes to women are beyond grotesque, they they gotta know it's not ok.
So American men are fine having this slime ball represent them. Fine. Fine. At least American women know where the fault line lies.

I read somewhere that if the election were held and only men voted, that trump would win.
I know many men would never vote trump and that some women do. They must have men like trump for husbands.

If you think Trump is the problem, consider a) his level of support, b) the fact that Republican candidates get more vile and stupid with each election, and c) neither Dems nor the GOP win more than three terms in a row (except once for each in exceptional circumstances).

Four years from now you'll be saying Hello to President David Duke. And you think voting for Hillary will be avoiding a near disaster and it'll be all rainbows and unicorns?

Best o' luck to y'all.

Mr. Savage and Mr. Sullivan are correct: Trump is different. He is far and away the most dangerous candidate in American history. Even the ugly period that culminated in secession and Civil War was not as dangerous, because nuclear weapons had not yet been invented.

@14 What you read "somewhere" is not anecdotal baloney, but is confirmed by every poll. The gender gap is quite real, and it applies to both candidates--if only men voted, Trump would win easily, just as if only women voted, Hillary would have a massive landslide. What this says about men and women is open to interpretation.

Extinction-level event. Word.

Now, if only people realized it, and would go to the god-damned polls and vote to save themselves from Herr Drumpf and his storm-troopers-in-waiting.

Because, this shit is going to get real in a hurry.

CYF, you need to forgive yourself, darling.
It wasn't your fault.
The Real Woman in you just naturally finds a Trump man irresistible.
And you are so right about pizza, it does nicely when Mastadon meat is not an option.

You sure don't want to be in the sack with anyone like the endless parade of Clinton boys writing in to Mr Savage whining that their women won't fuck them....

And Mr Savage, regret is way more expensive than prevention.
Remember the thick musky stench of panic and fear you are sporting the next time you are tempted to support a horrible horrible candidate like Hillary.

This is only an extinction-level event for dinosaurs.
And their failed policies.
And their toxic smug bigotries.

It is pointless to fear, or fight, Darwin.

Embrace the change.
Turn into the sunrise and soak up the warmth.

Or; alternatively, Duck and Cover.....

Lurker @7: You forgot Jimmy Carter. The last liberal.

CYF, I hope you at least had your period and bled all over his face.

Bravo, Dan, for the powerful response to SADDER!

Can we please disabuse ourselves of the myth of merit-based lust? I remind you of Raoul Julia's immortal words from Tequila Sunrise: "No man should be judged for whatever direction his dick goes! That's like blaming a compass for pointing north, for Chrissake!"

Equally applicable to women, of course.

It hasn't happened often, but I can think of one little-real-life-contact facebook friend and one relatively-new-acquaintance-from-a-hobby-group friend who both turned out to be Trump supporters. I can't see that reasoned argument is going to change their minds. I can't see that refusing to have anything more to do with them is going to do it either. Nor do I see anything productive in egging their houses.

This is the dilemma that I see behind CYF's letter. What is she supposed to do? She enjoyed her sexual encounter. Depriving him would also mean depriving herself. It's not like she set out to reward him for hateful political views. You could argue that she used him to get something she wanted.

Wow. Before this column I was like, "Oh, Dan Savage is cool, very insightful, like his perspective on things, funny, whatever."

After this column: I love Dan Savage so much.

@7 please do not encourage non-swing state voters to think their vote is wasted. Nobody thought that Nader would make a difference in Florida!

And your logic encourages people to stay home. I live in a non-swing state and every vote counts in some lower level election. Example: a local congressman in NY (not NYC) and excellent Democrat squeaked by less than 400 votes in one election, only to be ousted by a really stupid Republican a couple of mid-term elections later when turnout was very low. Local, city, state elections all count and are much closer many times.

@saxfanatic #23: Generally speaking, we can't control how we feel, but we can control how we behave in response to those feelings. The problem isn't attraction to odious people, the problem is socially validating that odiousness instead of treating it as categorically unacceptable.

@Fichu #24:

Depriving him would also mean depriving herself.

Yes, that it literally always how social activism to change cultural norms works. It always comes at a cost to oneself; if it didn't, the world would already magically be perfect, because social validation as the upside would always be a more powerful draw than the total lack of an upside to the alternative. People should not sleep with Trump supporters because socially condemning open appeals to fascism is more important than someone getting laid (plus, the two options aren't truly exclusive - people who don't support Trump also like to have sex, perhaps even with the LW specifically).

dan, don't minimize. you might be a sex advice columnist for your vocation, but your avocation is certainly politics and social justice. last time i saw you on bill maher you didn't mention anything about sex/relationships, it was all about presidential politics.

further, when an advice columnist says "i would whatever", that's gonna sound a lot like advice for how another person should behave.

I so love righteous-anger Dan.

Aren't you liberals supposed to like, all tolerant and shit?

It's as though you exclude people from having sex with if they don't read the Huffington Post and regurgitate John Oliver's opinions as their own.

@ 30

tolerate: accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance

Note that it doesn't say anything about fucking deplorable people.

Here's where I push back a little about what's in this column and the comments.

Every election I have ever voted in has been spun as the most important ever. Every Republican candidate has always been called a fascist. Cry wolf often enough and eventually people just shrug their shoulders and vote however they've always voted. Which seems to be happening quite a bit.

I'll grant that Trump speaks more directly than usual to the baser instincts of his supporters. Frankly, he doesn't seem bright enough to do otherwise. So it's easier for Democrats to pounce and tell their base, "See? I told you so!" which is more or less what is happening here.

Personally, I'm finding it hard to get worked up about the whole thing. Certainly not to the point that I'd kick someone out of bed over it.

I guess I just can't muster the outrage the way I used to be able to.

So, LW, I'd tell you this. Cast your vote and turn off the damn TV and go fuck your boyfriend. There's a hell of a lot more to life than Hillary Fucking Clinton and Donald Fucking Trump.

@16. Atheism. I didn't know I had to quote the source on Dan's threads. One of the influential US papers.
You say this is open to interpretation?
Oh No. very clear interpretation on this one. It means that a great majority of men are ok to vote in a sexual predictor. A man who is accused of raping a 13 year old girl and is going to court over it.
So what happens for these men who vote in such a vile dog, is that they are no longer to be trusted by their fellow American females.

* preditor

Jesus. Whatever.

@32 - The problem isn't really which candidate the person supports, but what that SAYS about that person's judgment, priorities, and ignorance. If she were boinking a Romney supporter, or a McCain supporter, or even a Jeb Bush supporter, so what? People have different political views and believe in different economic, foreign, and domestic policies. Not a big deal.

But being a Trump supporter is basically like saying, 'I either don't care about, or actively want to destroy, your reproductive rights and the civil rights of your LGBTQ friends/family members. I implicitly approve of misogyny and white supremacy. I will happily follow a loud macho poser who thinks violence, exclusion, and bullying are better than diplomacy, compromise, and thoughtful response. I think strength means belittling people and beating them down instead of lifting them up. I'd rather live in total safety while children are being bombed and starved, than share my safety and take a vanishingly small chance that doing so might hurt me.'

I don't begrudge the LW getting some nookie and feeling good and sexy. Guilt is a bullshit emotion. If you did something that gave you moral queasies, better to acknowledge it and resolve not to do it again, than agonize over whether you should feel bad about it or not. To her I would say, congrats on the good sex! But if he comes back for more, I think you ought to tell him your Trump-handle is off limits to bigots and the fools that follow them. Same goes for the woman with the Trump-supporting husband. Voting for a different candidate shouldn't be a deal breaker in a relationship, but voting for THIS candidate absolutely should be.

27-JohnHorst-- True. It's just that outside of comedy, Kinesias is not so easily convinced, and he too finds someone else as easily as Myrrhine does.

@#7 -- that's nice, that you have a problem with an entire race of people.This white Clinton-voting person who is losing his damn mind over the election thinks that the problems you mentioned are partly the fault of racism and also partly self-inflicted wounds. And I do not care whether or not I have your permission or approval to think and feel that way.

William @30: We liberals tolerate everything except intolerance.

Telling the writer to Fuck Off was the most satisfying thing I've read this election.

@38. When you've lived your whole life subjected to racism, then your words will have some validity.
@7, it does matter a lot which white person you vote for. Go Hillary!!

For the record, Dan. I stopped seeing a young, kinky woman who told me she was a Donald Trump supporter. It was hard to do, but it was the right thing. Trump is a candidate beyond the pale.

Yeah, but what about sleeping with a Gary Johnson supporter? What are we to make of that? My poly girlfriend - who is otherwise politically averse but loathes Trump - has a FWB who says he won't support Trump, but he also won't be voting for HRC. So he's voting for Johnson. His vote won't matter; this is a solidly blue state. I'm not to keen on her having another naked fun-friend to begin with, but ugghhh - a Gary Johnson supporter? Really?

As a Brexit supporter, I can't tell you how bloody tired I am of having my perfectly reasonable choice to think that the UK should be able to control it's borders AND freely trade with all countries of the world as an equivalent of supporting someone the likes of Berlusconi and Trump. Or that our UK electroate - the majority of which voted for it - is as ignorant as the United States electorate.

SADDER - if your husband (not just a fuck buddy, but someone you married) supports Trump then he is either oblivious to the racist and sexist bullshit that Trump is perpetuating or he's actively engaged in that racist and sexist bullshit. In either case, this is not a man you want in your life. He's either a moron or an asshole. I don't have a problem with people fucking Trump supporters - some of us get off on being objectified by people who don't respect us - but I do think we should take care not to let anyone we're in a relationship with think we're okay with Trump or okay with them supporting Trump. Dan's response was too subdued. I would've told the LW to DTMFA.

Dan will you PLEASE get divorced, become straight and marry me???

People who like Trump are like Trump. DTMFA

Vivic @44: Your choice to revoke my EU citizenship was not "perfectly reasonable." And you look at what your choice has already done to our country's economy and stand by it? And not just the economy, but the hate crimes which have surged after the bigots' views were given legitimacy by people such as yourself?

I guess we'll know in the next 24 hours whether 51.9% of the UK electorate are just as stupid and hateful as Americans, or worse.

Welp, now we'll all get to be fucked unconsensually by Trump supporters.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/10/6/…

PLEASE READ THIS ARTICLE ABOUT TRUMP'S TRAFFICKING OF UNDERAGE MODELS AND SHARE WIDELY!