What Id definitely be doing if I ate four pot brownies or was a cat.
What I'd definitely be doing if I ate four pot brownies or was a cat. ALENA OZEROVA

Sponsored
Pledge your vote for Tammy Morales for D2 for a Green New Deal for Seattle. Vote by Aug 6.

Capitol Hill Will Get a Cat Cafe

Of Seattle's three eagerly anticipated cat cafes, only one is actually open, and it's "as depressing as a strip club," according to Rich Smith. However, Neko Cat Cafe has recently secured a letter of intent for a lease on Capitol Hill, reports Eater, meaning that the city core will, at long last, have a place for people who are desperate to drink coffee and frolic with felines. In addition to enjoying beer, wine, coffee, snacks, and cat companionship, you can adopt a cat. I know that sounds like so much fun, but heed my warning: cats are way cuter on the internet.

To wit, I'm a begrudging cat dad and the little furry demon I inherited from an irresponsible roommate is, as I type this, trying to slam my laptop closed with his little demon claw. I'm sitting here trying to do that freelance hustle so I can feed his fat ass and pay the exterminator because he's also lazy, and he's all like, "But can you pet me, tho? How about now? Now? How about if I climb on the keyboard and just lay down? What if I look real cute?" I have half a mind to drop him off in a box at the cat cafe. (Just kidding, I love you, Catticus!)

YAAH Adds Brunch

Young American Ale House will henceforth be referred to as YAAH, per Bethany Jean Clement. Now, when your friends text you and are all like, "Omg wanna get brunch????" you can reply, "Hellz YAAH girl," because us millennials really just want to communicate in acronyms and misspelled curse words. Soon it'll just be a series of emojis and gifs of baby otters.

Anyway, you'll also be able to send that text because YAAH just added weekend brunch. Judging from the quality of the dinner I had there the other night—perfect poutine, a lovely wood-fired kale pesto pizza, and wings that came with the absolute best whipped blue cheese dip ever—brunch will be fire. It'll run the standard 10 am-2 pm Sat-Sun hours.

Windy City Pie Gets a Batch of Seats

Seattle's favorite destination for Chicago-style deep dish slices now has a proper space. They're inside Batch 206 Distillery's Batch Bar, and they have actual seats. No more shady text-message-fueled parking lot exchanges. (Unless Batch is closed, then you still have to do the shady pickup thing.) Dine in hours are 4 pm-10 pm Mon, Wed-Fri, and 12 pm-10 pm Sat-Sun. Carryout is available 11 am-10 pm every day except Tuesday.