Talk about horrifying.
Nothing should grow like that. Nate Gowdy

Happy St. Patrick's Day! In case you're already too drunk to read the tiny words on this screen, I'll do up my greeting a little bigger. Happy St. Patrick's Day, you drunk idiot!

Ireland's Prime Minister, Enda Kenny, kicked off America's sloppy celebration of its Irish immigrant history by reminding Donald Trump of that history in an incredibly lyrical and moving speech. I mean, listen to the alliteration and rhythmic balance of this line: "four decades before Lady Liberty lifted her lamp, we were the wretched refuse on the teeming shore." And look at Trump standing off to the side just taking it. I want to relish this admonishment, but then I remember that Trump has now signed two executive orders in an attempt to keep people from majority-Muslim countries from entering this country despite the fact that no one has any control over where they were born, and despite the fact that such policies contradict core American values. But. You know. It's a good speech. Maybe Trump will listen to it coming from an Irishman.

Trump also met, for the first time, German Chancellor and de facto leader of the free world, Angela Merkel. Here's how their public meeting started:


According to Reuters, he complained about the nonissue of NATO allies not paying their dues, described immigration as a privilege and not a right, and took a medium-spicy line on trade with the European Union in general but said he was looking forward to trading with Germany.

Though the two didn't agree on much, during a joint news conference, Trump tried to find common ground by comparing Merkel's experience of being tapped by the Obama administration with his non-experience of being tapped by the Obama administration. Merkel's look is worth a thousand germknödels.

Aaaaaaaand still no word on whether Spicer has been caught wearing these out today:

Is any of my pompous finger-pointing going to help Democrats win back those three counties in the upper Midwest? No. And should I be working to debunk the crazy Republican claim that the American Health Care Act is going to offer people more "options" for coverage even if they live in very rural areas where they've only ever had one or two health insurers to choose from even before Obamacare? Sure. And is all of this not that funny and actually kinda taking the rainbow out of your pot of gold right now? Yes. But America's going to be an international embarrassment for the next four years at least. We might as well start getting used to it.