Please, For the Love of God, Someone Stop Zach Braff

Comments

1
Oh no, a bridge in a city I don't live in is ruined!
2
"When asked if he’d ever seen his movie Jaws: The Revenge, (Caine) famously quipped: ‘Never. I hear it’s terrible. However, I have seen the house it built and that’s terrific.’"
3
Oh my. So you hated the movie. I thought it was cute and it entertained me just fine. It's a light piece of fluff, like cotton candy--when I eat something at the fairgrounds I don't expect nutrition, and when I see a movie like this I don't expect Citizen Kane. Lighten up. (Also: It was nice to see such a great senior cast, regardless of the material.)
4
I'm pretty sure the Shins would've done just fine without Garden State.
5
Get this cranky reviewer a juice box and a blanket. Someone needs his nap.
6
Aw, he liked it!

You can tell because this is the first leftie-publication article in 20 years that mentions Garden State without using the phrase "manic pixie dream girl."
7
@4

It's not about the band's success (though I'm sure it didn't hurt sales any, either).

The Beta Band did fine, too. HIgh Fidelity didn't make their career, but it mythologized them, turned them into a metaphor that can't be undone in our lifetime.
8
He will be dead soon.
I don't understand; are you wishing death on him, or are you just saying he's bringing it on himself?
9
Please keep griping about Portland from a distance. It is SO much better than artless crowdfest for rich airheads Seattle has become.
10
I dunno, I took it as pretty tongue in cheek, but Seattle's always been a weird place for humor of that ilk, witness the comments above...
11
People who badmouth The Last Witchhunter have no business talking about cinema.
12
Well I and my bb in PDX are cackling, Ned. Fuck the hater haters
13
Wohoa, we've got another TIME HATERS case!
14
I feel like this poster stayed up too late playing Minecraft the night before...
15
It might be nice to know why you thought the movie was so bad. A paragraph on that wouldn't hurt.