FBI Director Comey testifying at the Senate Judiciary Committee Oversight Hearing.
FBI Director Comey testifying at the Senate Judiciary Committee Oversight Hearing. Eric Thayer / Getty

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FBI Director James Comey is defending his decision to notify Congress—and therefore the American public—about a renewed investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails that last October 28, just 10 days before the most shocking election in American history.

When asked by Sen. Diane Feinstein at Senate Judiciary Committee hearing Wednesday to explain what the fuck he was thinking, Comey said that at the time, he believed that the unearthed emails would provide some insight into why Secretary Clinton was using a private email server. He could have just spent some time with any other 69-year-old grandparent in the world and he would have realized immediately that she didn’t know what a private email server was and could barely turn on her iPad. Instead, he just had to tell Congress.

“Concealment, in my view would be catastrophic,” Comey told the committee, making onlookers wonder if anyone has told Comey who won. You cannot get more “catastrophic” than a megalomaniac with the IQ of a Diet Coke in possession of the nuclear codes, but Comey still thinks he did the right thing, adding, “It makes me mildly nauseous to think we might have had some impact on the election.” Join the club, James. We’ve all be nauseous since the election.

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It was also revealed during Wednesday’s hearing that Clinton’s emails came to light as part of the FBI probe into serial dick pic sender Anthony Weiner, who was under investigation for alleged inappropriate contact with a minor. Apparently Weiner’s then-wife, Clinton aide Huma Abedin, had a habit of forwarding her emails to her husband so he could print them out. Stars! They’re just like us. Except when they fuck up, the rest of us are stuck with Donald Trump as president.

The Justice Department is now investigating Comey’s decision to go public. We’ll see how that goes.


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