Somehow, the rest of the story seems to be missing.

Aaaand there it is.

Oh God his chin grows more and more punchable. Nice work.

The front "adult" shirt, does that say "увядать" = Russian "wither, die off, droop"?

I can't handle the Japanese under the cat.

"shoes for genitals" hm.

The tiny person visible out the doorway, is that a billboard? Callan's condo window?

this is one of those people who complains about cops always hassling them. grew up as the kid who never shut up in class but always exclaimed "I wasn't DOING anything!" every time

He could sign a certified letter, like President Cheeto, stating that he has full legal rights to visit and take any merchandise he wants to.

@3: Good catch, I didn't notice the transition. That is pretty great.

Finally – a happy ending with a moral, and an ending without the presentation of a "business card" by SPD to a hapless victim.