Hey Dan. My girlfriend listens to you and sorry I hadn't heard of you until her. But I have a problem and I want to tell her but don't know how so I thought of you. Her butt smells often like butt sweat and shit and it's a major turn off like when she sits on the bed and stands up I smell ass and how can I go down there with that smell lingering in the back of my mind it's really grossing me out help


Welcome, BUTTS. A few things:

1. Letter-writers usually sign off with a few words that I can shorten into a catchy acronym. You didn't craft a sign-off so I made one up for you: Boyfriend Upset; Tushy Totally Smells. You're welcome.

2. I have some standard-issue advice that regular readers know well. Things like the Campsite Rule and GGG and the Price of Admission. (Google them!) But a lot of the advice I crank out, week after week, seems to come back to this: people would get along better and solve their problems faster if they just... used their words. Here's how that might work for you in practice, BUTTS: Your girlfriend's ass stinks and it's turning you off? Tell your girlfriend. Do it kindly, of course, and you can soften that particular blow by giving her chocolates or flowers or ice cream first. Then say, "Hey babe, you know I love you—see those flowers over there?—and you know I'm attracted to you. But sometimes your ass smells and it's a mood-and-boner killer. Now I can get my nose a lot closer to your ass than you can—so it's going to be more noticeable to me! But since I really wanna spend as much time as I can with my face down there, can I let you know when you need to jump in the shower? And while we're on the subject of personal hygiene and/or difficult subjects to address, is there anything you'd like to get off your absolutely amazing chest? Does my dick stink? Is there anything I should be doing differently?"

3. A butt can smell for plenty of reasons: an infection, upset stomach, milk allergies, STIs, IBS, poor personal hygiene. It's could be more than just not wiping properly or showering regularly. Maybe she doesn't change her underwear frequently enough. You know how you could find out, BUTTS? Starting a discussion. Talk to your girlfriend. Use your words.

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