I must have missed the part where it mentioned a line of children waiting to use this particular bathroom.

sounds to me like they got treated like any other individual person attempting to use a bathroom not intended for individuals. Big fuckin deal.

When did slog become a safe haven for Breitbart commenters? Trans people are constantly being harassed on so many levels of society... Let them go the fucking bathroom if they need to.

Transgenders must have the right to use the bathroom for the gender they identify with. Family bathrooms are a separate thing entirely. Parents shouldn't have to worry about individuals using the family bathroom.

I certainly wouldn't think to use the family bathroom simply because I was uncomfortable with waiting in like for the ladies.

The reason it is a bathroom for kids and people escorting little kids is because it is a nice single occupancy bathroom on the first floor of the downtown library and it would turn into a shooting gallery if they changed that rule.

There is no transphobia in this case, just the ugly reality of an urban area with very few facilities for the poor or kids.

So he's got to put a hold​ on bathroom usage?

According to Ryan Alley, one employee said he couldn't use that restroom because he didn't have a "family" with him, despite the fact that he says he's used the bathroom solo several times before.

So what if he's used it before? If the rule is that it's a bathroom for families - baby diaper changing and such - than that's what it's for. Just because he got away with it in the past does not set a precedence.

Alley then asked to speak to a supervisor, who allegedly affirmed the first employee's decision and added that the family bathroom wasn't available to transgender patrons.

I don't buy this.

The library states "was offered private use of another public restroom on the same floor", which if accurate does seem a clear step above "putting a hold on it". Though you'd certainly rather not have to involve a security guard to pee.

If the library is building another single-occupancy bathroom, then I don't really know why somebody can't use this one, level of usage permitting. Or is it within an entire area they try to maintain as with-kids-only?

One issue with children is they often... have urgency. Having them wait for a bathroom can be a problem.

I have been there many times and adults are not allowed in the kids area unless they are with kids. Why does transgender make a difference? Especially when an alternate private bathroom not on the children's floor was offered?

But ... but ... but ... Seattle's SO liberal!

Unfortunately, that rule probably exists because the homeless/junkie population abuses the family bathroom. They offered a separate bathroom and are building a gender neutral bathroom. Trans people are discriminated against, but I think a reasonable person would see this as a good faith effort to accommodate him. Can we try to give a break to the poor security guards who probably had no concept of transgender 10 years ago and is just enforcing a rule they didn't create. I've been gay for 1000 years marching in the same parades and even I can't keep up with all the permutations. cut people some slack.

I'm a cis gendered female who used that same bathroom last week and also got a talking to afterward. Might be a shitty policy, but its equal opportunity shitty, applied to cis and transgendered alike.

Being a member of an oppressed minority doesn't give you pass for being annoying.

I agree with @15, @17 - the downtown branch of SPL is basically a giant homeless/street-person storage building during the day.

After I got over my initial surprise, then discomfort with this I now think it's a good thing. It's warm, it's dry, it's safe enough. But that doesn't change the fact that they need a way to keep the fraction of drug-using street people from dropping needles in a bathroom frequented by children. If a 2 year old sees a needle in the trash (or on the floor) and they're curious they'll try to grab it, and Mommy/Daddy can't watch the kid every instant of their life.

The policy for the bathrooms in the childrens' area is a good one, it's being enforced reasonably consistently, and the library is in the process of building a gender-neutral bathroom.

When the guard asks Alley to stop recording, Alley says he doesn't feel safe enough to stop recording. "Then you're not safe enough to use the bathroom," the guard replies.

I wonder if the guard realizes how true that sounds.

But --- 9 months to install a bathroom? YGTBFKM.

Trivia: the downtown SPL was the first place in Seattle that I encountered those semi-doors in bathroom stalls.

Babies screaming. Toddlers pulling poop out of their diapers. Children booking it out from under the stalls while parents pants are down. Diaper changes and potty breaks which require two parents. Multiple children of different genders. These are what family bathrooms were built to address.

If SPL allows trans parents with kids or trans kids with parents (which obvs they would) there is no issue here.

I've used "family" bathrooms solo before. Not like I'm in there for hours. What's the big deal?

And while I firmly believe trans people should use the bathroom of the gender they identify with, in this case using the family bathroom means no conservative has to be outraged by which bathroom this man went to.

I find it hard to believe the library staff did this, but hope the policy is revamped soon.

As a dad with a 5 year old daughter, can other patrons please respect the kids area and its bathrooms? Its already depressing enough to visit SPL these days sadly.

As a dad with little kids I am thankful they have a family bathroom. If everyone without kids is using it what is the point? True story. Once I had to do an emergency diaper change on the floor with another small child who had to pee and another who was just running around while waiting for the family bathroom at the airport. When the door opened it was one single person who came out. I was completely floored and slightly angry. These bathrooms are there to help parents like me.

@26: No, you don't. You have to obey rules like everyone else.

It's people like this transgender man, whose extrapolating being a victim for 15 seconds of frame, that makes the hate against trans people worse by cultivating this hype and inflaming tensions.

In addition, if nature took over and demanded relief, of if the family bathroom was closed for repairs, he would have used the Men's room regardless.

Q.E.D.

It's worth noting that this was the only ADA accessible gender neutral bathroom in the building and that the "alternative" bathroom they offered was over a mile away at the Capitol Hill branch - clearly not an okay alternative for someone with a disability to be offered.

@29, good comment.

They really do need to address this lack of bathrooms and accessibility. It's right to protest it.

Whenever injustice is protested, especially through direct action, you often hear lots of whining about the way the protester went about it. That the protest wasn't perfectly calibrated enough to target only the injustice itself, with no spillover. That the message wasn't perfectly clear enough. Or that the greatest sin of all, inconveniencing car traffic, was spoken of out lout, or even, shockingly, committed.

It's fine if you want to ramble on about minutiae, but seriously, the burden should remain on those in power who caused the injustice. They're the ones who created the situation, and failed to remedy it. It's wrong to burden those who try to force change with an unrealistic standard for engineering protest actions and messaging. Especially when nobody is hurt (and no driver inconvenienced), give them a break.

@29 --- oh, well this makes more sense. Maybe if the complainant could have made his claim on the basis of handicapped accessibility, the library staff & guard might have been more willing to consider his request. Not saying it was his fault --- that should have been their default position --- but might be a useful point to keep in mind for next time, in case he or another transgender person needs to pee before December when the gender-neutral bathroom is finished.

@23, maybe you saw @25's comment already. That bathroom was probably not occupied for "hours" either; the point was, it didn't need to be occupied at all. I was witness to a similar scenario once --- not with children and diapers, but just a handicapped bathroom stall. At the gym, on the way to the shower, I happened to see a non-handicapped man go into the handicapped stall with a folded-up newspaper. Didn't think much of it, since there usually weren't handicapped people at that gym; but when I came out of the shower, there was a guy in a wheelchair, waiting for that handicapped stall. Because it was in line of sight from my locker, I was able to monitor the situation casually while I got dressed. The guy was in there for one of those not-really-necessary-but-oh-so-satisfying, 15-minute, full-sports-section dumps, while the guy in the wheelchair just had to wait. It probably wasn't a catastrophe --- he wasn't in there for "hours" --- but since I didn't ask the wheelchair user "did you shit yourself a little bit trying to hold it in for that extra 15 minutes?" I don't really know.

Anyway, when Mr. Big Dump finally came out of the stall, he showed no sign of noticing the guy with the wheelchair, but left the bathroom without washing his hands, went out to the pool area, and got in the hot tub without taking a shower. (Yes, I peeked after him once he skipped the shower in the locker room, to see if he might use the "quickie" shower out by the pool. He did not.) Somehow that did not surprise me.

@31 appeared while I was writing #32. Totally agree with his/her 2nd paragraph and just wanted to clarify that my suggestion for recalibrating the request was simply for the purpose of getting them to give you what you need before it's too late, not to say "you didn't protest correctly."

This was not about needing a "family" to use the family restroom. The SPL children's section does not allow adult patrons into the area unless they have children with them. Period. Lest you doubt that read about how they kicked out best selling children's author Lemony Snicket: http://www.seattletimes.com/entertainmen… . The unfortunate truth of living in a large city is almost monthly the children's section gets flashers and creepy adults hanging about trying to get to the children. Staff have a rigid rule that if you don't have kids you can't be in the section. This bright line rule keeps these incidents to a minimum and have security and staff trained to respond quickly when adults refuse to leave the area. There have been some truly scary incidents and unhinged people in the children's section, specifically and the larger library routinely. The library provides shelter to several 100 homeless every day, a significant portion of whom are seriously mentally ill (and this is not to say these are the only people with mental illness that face off with staff routinely). The library has exceptionally well trained security who have phenomenal deescalation and people skills (Seattle SPD could learn a lot from them). Part of keeping the library safe for everyone is quick responses and removing quarrelsome angry patrons. I am disappointed in the Stranger's coverage of this. It seems more and more the stranger is becoming about enraging headlines and click bait, and less about solid journalism. Married to a librarian.

I would add that having private bathrooms, while a great ideal to provide safe spaces for all is highly problematic at the library where such spaces will get quickly commandeered for injection sites, bathing and other problems for public space. Today's library is not the town library you grew up with. While its easy to think the staff should be able to accommodate an individual using their own judgment - this quickly becomes a discrimination issue with the next excluded person.

@35: Thank you for you input!

"Today's library is not the town library you grew up with."

Actually, it sort of is. I grew up in Iowa, in a town where dear Papa Vel-DuRay was on the library board forever, and president of the board for several years. We had a beautiful old Carnegie library, like something out of "The Music Man" and right on the town square, but even then - in the late 60's and all through the 70's - there were problems with creepy people luring children, or just doing unsavory things.

In those days, if you were a child of either gender who needed to use the bathroom, a staff member would escort you to the ladies room and wait outside. (it was in the days when older children roamed freely and parents of younger children dropped them off at places like the library or the movie theatre)

What happened at the Central Library was, in my opinion, unfortunate but not transphobic.

@32: 'full sports-section dumps'

Sir, you are a writer!

After reading this article, and some of the comments, I find it refreshing to see that transgendered people are now free to be assholes, just like all of the rest of us. Welcome to the club.

@29: Is there some requirement for family bathrooms to also double as gender-neutral ADA-compliant bathrooms?

I was walking down the sidewalk over the bridge and into Rennselaer from East Greenbush. There's a Subway sandwich shop on the left. I've really go to pee. Its 90-something degrees with 100% humidity. There's only one car in the lot.

I walk in and greet the clerk. Err.. "sandwich artist". Can I get the key to the bathroom? I'm sorry sir, that bathroom is for Subway customers only. I look around. The store is completely empty aside from me and this man.

That must be your car in the lot. I'll go piss on that, since you won't let me use the toilet.

The key is handed over. I enter, urinate, flush, and return the key as I exit.

Some of you might call me a urinary terrorist. I call myself a urinary freedom fighter.

@42: Did you have the courtesy to at least buy a coke on such a hot and humid day?

Holy shit, just use the other bathroom, this is so stupid.

As one can guess from my avatar and previous posts I often go out in my non-assigned gender. Due to my fast metabolism I also need to use a restroom on occasion.
And while I haven’t been in the mentioned library for years and am not familiar with the situation in that building, my experience of being accommodated in both public and private facilities in Seattle is pretty good.
One would assume that a public library would have been very reluctant to discriminate, and is probably taking some safety measures based on bad experiences.

Going out as a trans person is not always easy. Even in liberal places where there are hardly any discriminatory acts we often face soft ones like staring and giggling, and parents grab their children’s hands when they see us in the mall. As a result our fuses may melt a little faster during interactions, regardless of others’ intentions.

I’m not sure how Ryan Alley handled this situation, but when in question I often ask, “Is there a restroom I can use?” Did Alley did ask for permition or just stepped in and started an argument after being confronted?

From what I can tell It seems like all involved could have done better in this situation and avoid an unnecessary escalation.

What is an adult without kids doing in the children's section of the library in the first place? I'm not saying he has no right to be there, but if he only went there to use that specific bathroom then that's bound to look a bit suspicious to staff who've been told to watch out for pervs and druggies.

@42 Wouldn't the path of least resistance been to have just bought something?

Dougsf dear, some people don't like the path of least resistance. If I were the minimum wage employee he chose to bully, I would have pitched a spatula of dijon at Our Wandering Stars, but I am a surly person, who keeps his car locked and has good insurance. (on the other hand, if he had been of the "please, I really gotta go" persuasion, I would have handed over the keys)

Family bathrooms, especially family bathrooms in areas designed for children, are for families and not single people, regardless of their gender. The library is a library, not a bathroom facility. They did their best.

And I wonder what a "gender neutral" library bathroom will be like. I get the general gist (fully enclosed stalls with locking doors, common sinks) but how will that work in the real world? It seems like the perfect place for shooting up, conducting drug deals, or having illicit sex. Will they employe an attendant?

@47

When I go to the children's section of the library, it's usually because I am looking some items to check out.

Wandering @ 42
Vel-DuRay @ 49
Story is that pre-fame Rolling Stones stopped by a convenience store one night on their way back from a show, after the lead vocalist expressed the need to go.
The store owner told the long haired punks he’s closed and locked the door. Mick got it out and kept the door clean.

@39 FTW

The libraries I've been in have prominently placed placards in thplacards in the children's areas, asking that you NOT be in there without children. If you're browsing to pick up some books for your kids, fine, but they ask that you don't sit there. It's a policy that SPL has had since I was a kid going there! This isn'

Ugh, sorry folks, overly responsive new phone!

This isn't transphobia

This incident is going to make it easier for the bigots to target trans community. The complainer sounds entitled and unreasonable, and everyone likes the libraries. It's hard to make a case that they discriminate, when they let everyone be there without any problems, it's the only place you can sit as long as it's open, no matter who you are!

The details lacking here & in the Library's public response to how this incident unfolded, sure makes it look to people that this was just someone being unreasonable in their demands. Not the whole story, and not o.k. for this patron to be smeared that way.

I get that the staff were likely motivated by policy trying to keep out drug users from the family bathroom, and needle hazards, etc. that could pose danger to children, and then trying to apply that policy fairly. Good intentions very poorly applied. If you read the full account, you will see this played out in a really bad (and illegal) way on the library's part, that needs to be addressed, apologized for, and figure out how to not allow it to happen again, while meeting their goals of keeping the bathroom safe. I am severely disappointed all around how the library has been treating this person, characterizing this event, & P.R. spinning it in a way that makes him appear like an unreasonable trouble-maker. (Instead of doing the right and decent thing, recognizing and apologizing for where things went wrong, and seeking a respectful solution.) This was not someone being demanding and unreasonable, and the way the library has characterized the situation is disturbing (The irony being that it would go better if they truly recognized, admitted, apologized for, and made right their mistake.)

This was a patron who is both disabled & transgender, and has a difficult time getting around. They were in the children's section of the library for legitimate reasons (this time without the little kid they care for & read to, sometimes they go without the kid because picking out books is often easier when not with a toddler), picking out children's books & trying to get a summer reading Bingo card that they promised to pick up for the kid. He was not violating library policy or hanging around for no legitimate purpose. He needed to use the bathroom, like he has many times before. The library only has *one* bathroom in the entire building that is single stall gender neutral and ADA accessible, all of which he needs. He explained this, including reasons for needing a gender neutral, single stall, ADA accessible bathroom, to the staff member who denied them, and then to the manager after them, as well as the security guards who were called, when he continued to ask to speak to someone else, because he knew it was illegal to be turned away (and who turns someone away who is disabled, transgender, and needs to pee, from the only restroom, in that public building, that accommodates their needs and tells them to go blocks away to find a bathroom in a different building? Who does that anyway? He must have been thinking, there's got to be someone working here who will be reasonable and see that this is both wrong & illegal to turn me away.) Family restrooms in public buildings are recognized as serving both those who need gender neutral facilities and ADA accessibility, under the law, the law even states that they are not to be construed as only for those who have kids with them. They are meant to serve all who have special needs that are not fulfilled by the conventional multi-stalled restrooms widely available, in order to make public spaces more accessible to all. As this patron points out, it would also be wrong to turn away someone who needed that restroom for other disability/health reasons, but apparently the library policy as currently stands is to do just that. It was the library's choice to make the only one in the building in the children's section, and that does not exempt them from under the law to need to keep it available to those who need gender neutral and/or ADA accessible restrooms, especially when that is the only one in the building. It is against the law to deny someone use of gender neutral & ADA accessible public bathrooms in public buildings when they need to use them. The way they treated this patron when they just needed to use the bathroom & was pointing out it was wrong & illegal for him to be turned away, was inexcusable. To respond to the patron when he said he didn't feel safe when the security was called, (trans people are at high risk for assault and harassment everywhere, but particularly in public restrooms, and too many have been assaulted and treated poorly, even killed at the hands of law enforcement, so there is understandable reason for caution and fear) it was completely unacceptable to say, "then you're not safe to use the restroom." That clearly sent the message they were not going to protect his safety, and that was way out of line. He had the security called on him for no other reason then requesting his legal right to use the restroom that met his needs. He was not threatening, bothering any other patrons, or even inconveniencing anyone, other than the staff to do their jobs and legal obligations. They did NOT offer him a gender-neutral, ADA accessible alternative within the same building at the time of the incident. Who tells a disabled person who needs to pee that traveling blocks away to a bathroom in a different building is an acceptable alternative? The offer to clear a multi-stalled bathroom when a transgender person needs use of a private restroom, was what the Library came up with later as their P.R. interim "solution" (and worded it so the public could interepret that they had offered a reasonable alternative at the time) (not a good solution by the way, shows disregard for trans people's safety, making a scene like that) until the new bathroom is built, and was not something offered at the time of the incident. They have handled this very poorly. They didn't even send their P.R. "apology" to the person this happened to, when they posted it online. Their actions make it seem they are just trying to cover their reputation instead of doing right.

To make it clear, I am a mother & want family restrooms and children's sections of libraries to be kept safe, but that is not what they were doing here (intentions aside), or what they would be doing when turning away other people that have legitimate reason and legal right to use that restroom. A single disabled or trans person needing to use a private single stall restroom at the library's bathroom is not endangering me or my kids in any way, and their rights matter just as much as mine. No one would be in there at the same time as my family, and if having to wait is bothering us (that can be hard on both toddlers and people with various disabilities), the solution is to advocate for more bathrooms that service all our needs, not start trying to exclude those who need it from bathroom access. (To be clear, the waiting issue is only hypothetical, no one else was in line to use the restroom at the time of the incident.) If drug use and needle safety is a concern, there are other more effective (and non-illegal) ways to make sure the bathroom is safe & doesn't have needles laying about before & after a patron uses it, than illegally denying single disabled and transgender individuals access.

To the library administration...it is never too late to turn things around, apologize for mistakes and do what is needed to make things right, for now & in the future. Please check in with those who have been harmed, and listen to them on how things can be made right. I believe we all want better than this. Sometimes that means swallowing some pride, and not just knee-jerk reacting defensively.

Painting this as a trans person being unreasonable, selfish, or demanding when you are just trying to serve kids & families & keep them safe is a particularly harmful twisting of this story & incident, and you shouldn't allow or encourage that to happen without setting the record straight. Please don't keep digging yourself a bigger hole, or doing more harm...please face this and make it right.