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I'm a 31-year-old single, straight, cis male living in Baltimore. I'm messaging you because I was very stupidly just the victim of an online blackmail/extortion attempt. I haven't used Chatroulette in years and just randomly thought of it and found a new way to access it from a browser on my iPad. I was just going through and looking for someone to chat with, not revealing anything sexual, and a girl who said she was 22, invited me to video chat with her on Skype. I was just very bored, a little horny, and she took off her top and pretty easily coerced me to briefly show my soft dick. She then abruptly sent me a message detailing that she found my Facebook page, listed a few of my friends' and family members' names, and threatened to message them the video if I didn't make a deal with her. I didn't respond, blocked her Skype account, and deactivated my Facebook page temporarily.

My common sense, as confirmed by some information I just read, tells me that you should never pay them, as that will only lead to further extortion. It was a very brief video clip of me holding my junk, which was mostly covered by my hand. I'm unmarried and completely unattached, so I'm not worried about any relationship ramifications. I also work for a very small custom furniture company, with a tight-knit group of very liberal (and I believe fairly sex-positive) coworkers, and I believe my employer would be very understanding if he was to learn about the situation. But I would be completely mortified if my family and other people I know saw it. I've heard of these scams and I can't believe how stupid I was to fall for this, how I could just not think at all. I'm sure this happens hundreds of times every day, and I really should have known better. Are there any further actions I should take? In your experience with readers, callers, etc., how else could this affect my life?

I'm sure there's no way to track this person down, as any names and information on accounts must be made up. I'm really scared and just don't know what to do now. Please help as soon as you can, Dan.

Rando Acquired Naked Shot Of Me

Chatroulette blackmailers have been at work for years, RANSOM. People have paid out thousands and thousands of dollars to these scamming assholes—but you're right to not pay your asshole scammer. Once they've been paid, these scammers typically come back for more. It's better to block the scammer in any way you can. Don't make it possible for them to contact you. Also, change your Facebook privacy settings so you're unsearchable and change your Facebook profile's URL if you're able to—all things people might wanna do before they get on Chatroulette.

If you have any identifying information on the scammer—a screen name, for instance—report those details to Chatroulette. Reporting them probably won't do anything to help you, but it could protect someone else in the future. It's also good to do a quick scan of the internet to see if any masturbating videos are already out there with your name on them. If you find any, report them and ask to have them removed. You can also set up a Google alertfor your name. This way, if anything gets released you'll be the first to know.

The threat of your dick pic being posted at any moment sucks, RANSOM, even if you live in a liberal and sex-positive community. While other victims have lost marriages and careers after their pics were sent to spouses and employers, you don't have a partner to lose and your employer is unlikely to punish you for being victimized in this way.

As family and friends, RANSOM, following Max Mosley's example is your best course of action if this asshole sends out screengrabs and/or videos: simply refuse to be ashamed. Millions of people share these kinds of pics every single day, this is normal behavior, everyone has genitals, you did nothing wrong, and you're the wronged party here. (You're going to want to read the chapter on Mosley in Jon Ronson's So You've Been Publicly Shamed). And bookmark and/or memorize what Dylan Sprouse wrote on his blog after some asshole released his nude pics online:

I don’t think what I did was wrong. To be blunt, I was proud of my progress in the gym, thought I looked hot, and wanted to share it. There is an odd taboo with the human form (especially in the USA) and I don’t particularly think its a good thing to teach people that you should "hide yourself".... Secondly, the real problem here was not me sending my pictures to someone, but rather, sending them to the WRONG someone. The real travesty is a misplaced trust.

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