@ the happy Nazi fucker. Good for you that you managed to change your spouse's mind, but most of us don't want to have to 'convince' anyone to be a decent person, no matter how open-minded they seem. I guess some people like a challenge, but endless arguments and debates just sounds fucking exhausting to me.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center, alt-right is simply a new name for white supremacists and Neo-Nazis. So did this LW's husband really sympathize or belong to hate groups, as that term is defined by organizations like SPLC, 12 years ago? I doubt that. Arguing over same-sex marriage is rather different than trying to change the minds of people who are carrying torches chanting "Jews will not replace us" and "Blood and soil." LW's husband sounds like a typical right wing voter, and while those views may be plenty odious, the Klu Klux Klan and Neo-Nazis are fundamentally different. Today's LW and CL from earlier this week would need a magic vagina to fuck the Nazi out of someone.

"Hesbian"?!??!

Here's another vote for 'What's a hesbian?', cuz Google isn't helping me out here.

@1 & 2, The original LW's guy wasn't chanting things or marching with torches either.

My long term boyfriend was a Holocaust denier when we first met. He had spent a lot of time on white supremacist forums as a teenager and thought they never found any bodies or remains near the concentration camps. I was able to convince him otherwise fairly quickly, but he also wasn't passionate about it to begin with. Since then, he's come pretty far to the left. People in their late teens and early twenties often parrot the views of the people around them more than they have formed their own opinions.

Since the original LW's guy doesn't sound super dedicated to white supremacy as much as influenced by the people around him, I think she could try to fuck the Nazi out of him. But since she's clearly not in it for the long haul, I'm not sure she would be able to influence him more than his immediate family members would.

@1&2, Oops. I'm dumb. Sorry, I misread your posts. I realize now you did not say the original LW was a true white supremacist in the card-carrying kinda way. Anyway. That's even more argument that the original LW doesn't absolutely have to dump the guy IMO.

@3 & 4 - I interpreted the term as "heterosexual woman who presents herself in a way her husband considers 'dyke'-ish." If that's right, then the "he" in hesbian would come from "het."

From Urban Dictionary: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…

If I had dated purely in accordance with my political beliefs, I would not be happily married today to my amazing spouse. Rock-solid conservative Republican when we met, due to regional and family culture while growing up, but always open-minded and eager to engage in reasoned, logical debate around divisive issues. Fast forward to today, my spouse is a registered Democrat who is slightly farther to the left than I am. Unlike the original LW, I can't claim (as much as I'd like to) that it was my superior fucking skills that brought my partner around to a more progressive attitude - it was their own thought process, and their own gradual alignment with a party that more closely reflected their personal and patriotic values. But I wanted to chime in to say that it's just not true that adults' political beliefs are set in concrete, at least not for people who actually think rather than parrot whatever they hear on TV or talk radio.

"and told me how much that message had meant to him, and how I was the love of his life."

Wow, I would not be real pleased to learn an old boyfriend had been making love-of-life eyes at me for years. Guess I'm taking it differently though than the person writing in, glad it worked for them.

For every wondrous boyfriend conversion story there's a thousand women out there wondering why tf she married and had kids with this Trump-voting right wing racist asshole. Perspective, people!

My mind boggles at the idea that I could even find a 'rock-solid conservative Republican' to be attractive enough to date in the first place. I mean - I'm glad you were able to see through that and all, but the first right-wing bullshit that falls out of anyone's mouth instantly makes them unfuckable in my eyes. But then again, I'm not a fan of DIY projects, either.

Sangui, it wasn't a DIY project by any means. As I said @9, my partner's gradual shift leftward was largely attributable to exposure to new ideas and experiences beyond what they had absorbed growing up in a conservative rural town, not to my proselytizing. However, I do think it's relevant that we met and started dating in an earlier, less polarized time when people with opposing political viewpoints actually TALKED to each other, quite frequently in fact, and face-to-face rather than via text or social media. We both tried hard to listen and understand where the other person was coming from and why they held the views they did, rather than simply trying to "WIN" with superior talking points or ad hominem put-downs. We were also kindred spirits and strongly attracted to each other in all the important ways, so our mismatched political views didn't make much of a blip on the radar screen as we were falling into lust and eventually love. (Having said all this, I will admit that I'm very happy my spouse came around to the "right" i.e. "left" way of thinking.)

@11 That's why god invented long term dating, living together before marriage, and extended engagements. I have a hard time sympathizing with people who don't bother to get to know each other before agreeing to spend the rest of their lives together.