Maybe it's because there's no obvious solution, but I didn't think the response was particularly useful. Dan has himself advised people to dump a partner for being unwilling to perform oral. I think that the LW realizes that oral is an expectation and/or important part of sex for a large number of people.

Unfortunately, the LW doesn't explain what part of giving blow-jobs s/he doesn't like. So it would be hard to come up with a solution (for at least making them more bearable).

Try it out on a 🍌/ banana first, peeled, covered in maple syrup, the real stuff. Then transfer the maple delicious syrup onto the erect phallus, and Bob's your uncle. Keep topping up the syrup as required. Enjoy.

@3
Now there's a usage of that phrase that finally makes sense.

@2 pythag3: Agreed, we might be able to help if we know if there are specific parts LW doesn't like. Examples:
1. General taste (shower right before, add something flavored)
2. Pre-come (regularly use hand and own spit to dilute, add something flavored)
3. Ejaculation in mouth (don't ejaculate in the mouth)
4. Jaw hurts (add lots of hand, mouth as accessory)
5. Boring, takes a long time (add vibrator/masturbation/touching for self, porn viewing, intersperse with recipient jerking off)
6. Gagging (add lots of hand to limit depth, use mouth for minimal or non-penetration, change angle or position like approach from the north or side-by-side)
7. Emotionally feels bad (try scene where LW is in control or being ordered around, add recipient touching or not touching LW in different ways)
8. Concerns about skill (endure awkwardness of tutorial, don't do the "if you like that then you're gonna love this!!" change-ups)

i hated it in college and post college. and when i say hate i mean hate. especially with a VERY sensitive gag reflex. like stupid sensitive.

now i LOOOOVVVEEEE it. a fucking hot sex affair with a hot french guy who's skin i could have torn off (not really but you get the point) and crawled intoon south beach helped. i couldn't get enough of it. took practice and guidance but you can even train your throat to relax. trust me.

i suggest finding someone you have insane chemistry with that you'd consider finding your freak flag to fly and take it (no pun intended) slow. it can grow on you, i can vouch. i can't imagine not doing it now.

Is BLOW a straight woman, by any chance?

Imagine your husband or lover snoring. Now imagine him dead. The snoring is the direct reason he's not dead. There's a causal link. This means you should be able to stand the snoring.

The blowjobs may be the reason your lover's still here. Drop the talk of 'training' yourself. That's too grudging. 'What pills can he take to get through your wedding?'. You don't want to hear that. He doesn't want to hear about the trials of your suck-aversion. Instead, kiss his dick. See him smile. Imagine the alternative to him smiling. Enough for now. Build up so you hate it less--so you like pleasing him.

someone finally took the time to teach me, and i become much better at it as well as much more comfortable with it. as much as men usually expect porn star blowjobs from women, they really suck at instructing us in how to do them properly--pardon the pun. for instance, the use of the phrase "sucking cock" is rather misleading. makes you do all the wrong things with your mouth, and then they complain about teeth as a result. silly boys.

Mr. Savage says ”So how can you train yourself to like blowjobs? I don’t think you can.”

Wait...what?? So Dan you’re saying that if a person doesn’t like suckjobs (No one “blows” do they?) that’s it! Dusts off hands. Never need to do that again!

Perhaps most women are less SELFISH and want to pleasure a partner whether it is fellatio or cunnilingus. No one is great at something the first few times. But having a patient OLDER teacher/partner is the best way of learning how to do this particular sex act. An older guy/woman won’t orgasm as soon as I put the cock/clitoris in my warm wet mouth. That way he/she can tell me EXACTLY what feels the best. And yes giving pleasure makes one feel great too--it’s a kind of power...and a skill at which one gets better with different partners and different techniques---which aren’t necessary to go into detail but it IS amazing how one technique will drive a partner wild with pleasure as opposed to “That doesn’t feel good at all.” Ok-so tell me what you like or didn’t like?
I’ll have an orgasm myself just bringing him/her to climax. Or I’ll use this in foreplay for lubrication or hardening the penis for penetration.

1) Good patient teacher. 2) whipped cream/ honey(don’t heat up with a microwave--by the time you use it, hot honey can cause 2nd and third degree burns with both partners.) Queso dip or guac works well too. 3) I guess it also helps that I have a nearly zero gag reflex. The first time I saw Marilyn Chambers in The Green Door or Linda Lovelace in Deep Throat I thought...”What’s the big deal?” (Still glad that I became an MD.) I have a lousy (or good) gag reflex.

When you aren’t fumbling around it takes the stress off. As far as the taste, smell, texture on one’s tongue---it’s similar to acquiring a taste for caviar or other exotic treat. And I got my cheek, neck, and facial muscles in “shape” as there were times with an older person that I could “work” for 4 to five hours w/o that person coming...tough to carry on a conversation as it were...

In summary it IS possible to overcome one’s initial turnoff to a sex act, but done with loving care, it can become a VERY erotic part of making love...and for me a LOT of fun.

Dan - whatever happened to 'oral is mandatory'?

You can possibly train someone to give better head, sure. But you can't train anyone to *like* it. If it's not their gig, then they don't have to. It's up to their partner to decide whether possibly giving up oral is worth the price of admission. There is absolutely no sex act that is mandatory.

I had a huge aversion to cock when I met the man who is now my husband, stemming from two decades of not being attracted to my prior partner but making myself have sex with him anyway. I was very much in love with my new lover and we were having amazing sex, but I was still absolutely grossed out by the thought of giving him a blow job. He was dabbling in hypnotism at the time, so I asked him to hypnotize me and see if he could get rid of my grossed-out-ness. IT TOTALLY WORKED! And I could not be more thrilled. He's a certified hypnotherapist now, as well as a reiki practitioner and a daka (that's a Tantra practitioner & sexual healer). We got married three years ago. I won the lover version of the Powerball, people!! He can do the same for others out there whose subconscious is cock-blocking him. I won't name his name, but he practices here in Seattle, and we have a Tantra community on Meetup that meets every Saturday. You'll find him if you Google him.

@7 wut
wutttt

Seems to me she needs to find a guy who doesn't like blowjobs.

And I think I see one right now over there... hiding behind that unicorn.

If Ankylosaurus's tips @5 don't help, the LW can consider themselves a lost cause. Or they're with the wrong partner.

Andre @16: If by unicorn you mean "bi woman who likes couples," good comparison. Both are rare but do exist.

Speaking as someone who struggled mightily at 18 with a very hung partner who (two years in, thanks a lot) admitted he didn't come from blowjobs, but who has recently been told by multiple partners that I give the best head they've ever had:

1. Never feel obligated to deep throat. It's not pleasant. You can give a good blowjob that doesn't involve gagging. If he pushes your head down, stop him. This has to be fun for you too.

2. Take breathers. Use your hands. Giving head can be taken literally -- if he's got a big cock and the head is all that will fit in your mouth, so be it.

3. Choose positions that are comfortable for you. Change position if necessary.

4. Some guys take ages. Making them come is not your responsibility. If your jaw aches too much to continue, stop.

5. Think of oral sex as foreplay. If you're not doing it with "I must do this until he ejaculates" as your goal, it's a lot more fun! Lick him, suck him, enjoy his moans, and when you yourself are sufficiently turned on, apply a condom and jump on him. Once you've learned to enjoy oral as foreplay, it will be more enjoyable to change it up sometimes and keep going until he comes -- or your jaw gets sore, whichever happens first.

6. Don't do it to anyone who doesn't reciprocate.

Good luck, BLOW.

I don't know about you, but when I eat a banana, I eventually get to the point where I break off little pieces with my teeth and chew. (Humor! Humor! Don't all of you start throwing rocks at me.)

No advice here about blowjobs, but I will remember the first time I saw people french kissing and how yucky I thought it was. I don't remember when I first learned about the whole penis in vagina thing, but I'm sure my reaction was one of absolute deep disgust. The thing that helped was all the intermediary steps between. Kiss on the cheek, kiss on the lips, kiss with lips barely parted. Necking, petting, going all the way. Only the gentlest pressure to do more in that I knew he'd like it but also knew he'd stop.

The writer might actually love doing mouth sex....but has had no chance to do anything but uncomfortable, ugly, porny, crap.
It seems like there's a whole generation who think 'blowjobs' involve obligatory choking, slapping, and buckets o' running mascara.

I'm not sure if you can "train" yourself to enjoy giving blowjobs, but I know from personal experience that you can go from someone who feels "meh" about them to someone who gets really into fellatio. It's not so much training as a shift in perspective, a transition from "this is a chore that I dislike" to "this is super fun thing that both of us really enjoy." The downside is that it may take more than just a desire to change to precipitate that shift. For me -- and it sounds like several other commenters here as well -- it took a) increased sexual experience and confidence and b) a partner with whom I had some crazy good chemistry.

Poly @20: I suspect you are probably right. If she's only encountered men who attempt to face-fuck her, news flash: you'll never learn to enjoy that shit. Tell those assholes to stop or you're never going anywhere near their dicks ever again. As the wise Lava once said, "Time for a new term. Sucking cock should never be a job and being blown may or may not happen."

Blowjob as foreplay, with no obligation to actually get him off that way. Keep it play, rather than a chore of pump pump pump, and move on to something else when it gets boring. Kissing, licking, tickling with the tongue, focusing on different places on and around the dick - what's not to like about a couple of minutes of that?

I'm not crazy about all the food suggestions, though - if there is going to be some P in V sex later on, you're setting her up for an infection.

@22 news flash: I enjoy that shit (being face fucked) and I'm completely sure I'm no the only one.

Westy @24: That's not news to me, honey. Of course you're not the only one who enjoys #HorribleThing. That doesn't mean the thing isn't horrible to the vast majority of people, including BLOW. (News flash to the face fuckers: Most of us are BLOWs, not WESTYs. Ask first. Thank you.)

One possibility: Think of giving a blow job as having the power to make a guy come.

Personally, I think blowjobs are overrated. Nice, sure, and they can have hot power dynamics which are fun, but not the end-all be-all of sex. So echoing others, yeah, it should be fun for both partners and perhaps a milepost on the road to a great sexy time, but not a final destination.

Handjobs, on the other hand... !!! !!!!! ! I think they are quite underrated and deserve more attention. Again, this is just me, and with all things sex, YMMV.

Perhaps the LW can focus on becoming an exquisite & attentive handjob giver & their partner(s) might not care about the little or lack of blowjobs.
--
@11 - The word 'blow' in blowjob came(!) from an older usage of the word meaning 'to come' or 'to ejaculate'. As in "he's gonna blow!" ;>) But yeah, in modern language it's kinda confusing. Similarly, 'scumbag' actually meant 'condom', because 'scum' was another word for 'semen'.

Another way to enhance “liking” it is to find a partner who will reciprocate and be attentive to your needs, whatever they may be.
I think there is also too much emphasis on technique, especially on the depth side of it, and not enough on the playfulness of the act/s.
It’s ok to take it easy, tickle, explore, lick, bite (gently!), and of course the use of hands. You can still perform magic with only the tip in your mouth, assisted by creative hands and mind.

I agree CMD, it needs to be playful and erotic. That's why I picked maple syrup, agony@23, no purer food is known, I'm sure no infection will occur, and the cock could be wiped before entry.
I read a post on Vice, how some men hate to go down on a woman, depressing mob. One guy said it was because it was too near female piss and shit zones. The dual purpose of his own cock must escape him. So they are out there LW, boys who don't want to touch your privates with their mouths, your male counterparts. Maybe if it's so hard you got to write a letter about it to Dan, give up the ghost and find a man whose genitals your lips won't have to touch because he won't want to touch his lips with yours either.

I wonder about BLOW's age and overall experience level. If BLOW is 17 and has only tried blowing one guy, and found it unpleasant, for whatever reason, my response would be very different than if BLOW is 29, has a fair bit of experience trying oral sex with different men, and just doesn't like performing that sex act. I can only say that it took a few tries with a few different women before I started enjoyed performing oral sex.

I will also put in another plug for trying 69 (assuming she can give a blowjob while receiving cunnilingus). 69 is generally a better angle in which to give a blow job, and her weight on his body should preclude his turning a blowjob into face fucking (if that's been a problem). BLOW may find that receiving cunnilingus get her into a head space in which giving a blowjob is more enjoyable.

@29 it's not the impurity of the food substance that's the problem, but that it upsets the ph balance, leading to major yeast infection. And sure, you can wipe it, but we're talking about a very sticky substance - needs a complete shower. Food and vaginas don't mix.

@5 What a lot of your advice boils down to is "substitute a hand job for a blow job and stick the head in your mouth a little to let you claim it's a blow job."

This is NOT a blowjob. That's deception. He'd probably stop her pretty quickly and explain what a blow job is.

@32 ECarpenter: Dang it, all that work over the years and some of them didn't even count AND it was deception?? Now you tell me! My punch card was two away from a free sandwich, too!

Sublime @30: Or the pleasure of receiving cunnilingus will be so distracting that she soon finds herself helpless to do anything besides clutch his penis with her hand while riding his face. YMMV indeed. (I agree, 69 will prevent him from thrusting too deep into her throat, mainly by preventing her from keeping his cock in her mouth at all.)

Don't get me wrong. I love 69, but if you want a contiguous blowjob, that's not the way to get it.

Ankyl @33: Exactly. None of the people who've recently told me I give the best head they've ever had felt particularly deceived because I was using my mouth and hands. Sure, it's likely that for some guys like ECarpenter, deep-throating is the only type of blowjob they enjoy. These guys need to find partners like Westy. Everyone's happy.

@15. Mt Beaver. Why 'wut'?

Isn't an aversion to sucking off similar to an aversion to one's partner snoring? Aren't there workarounds in the same way--in many cases? (And, in some other cases, no workarounds?)

Harriet @35: "Isn't an aversion to sucking off similar to an aversion to one's partner snoring?"

Not in any way that I can see.
And one's partner is not going to die without a blowjob.
I thought that was a bizarre comparison, too.

@36. Well, the basis of the comparison is that some people just cannot be with a partner who snores. It kills every romantic and life-sharing possibility stone dead in the water. It’s inconceivable (to this type of person) that they won't sleep in the same bed as, snuggle up to, their partner. But their partner snores. So it's not a goer.

And, as an analogy, there are people who will not accept any standing sexual relationship without oral sex. I'm one of them (but for gay men, BJs are possibly more Sex 101 than the rectum). They will leave any partner who doesn't suck their dick. This is relationship death--the analogy (homology?) with snoring. But we both know that there are couples who have sex, then go off to sleep in other rooms. And there are couples who never do oral. And have great relationships! Quite possibly this is the solution for BLOW.

I knew there were people who would give the LW technical, practical and moral hints on giving good head. And they're all valuable. (Incidentally, I disagree on technique being unimportant: getting your teeth out the way is vitally important. Light kissing, use of the hand, stroking and licking styles and knowing when to give it a rest is an intermediate level; and my life would have been much worse if I hadn't learnt to deepthroat--which, I agree, needn't be sustained for long). So I saw no need for me to offer this advice--better to leave it to the straight and bi cis women who also didn't like it at first. What I said was intended to focus BLOW's mind on what she (maybe he) might be sacrificing if unprepared to be GGG.

@34/BiDanFan: Yes, BLOW's MMV, but I think even if BLOW falls into the group of women who cannot continuously blow while receiving cunnilingus, her partner may still prefer to receive BLOW's intermittent, but enthusiastically delivered, blow job, than a continuous one that he knows she hates doing. In any event, the suggestion is about putting BLOW into a head space in which she may enjoy giving oral sex, and perhaps be stepping stone to enjoying giving a straight up blow job.

For me, it depends on the cock. All cocks are not created equal. Some are larger, some smaller, some sweet, some smelly....

Sublime @38: Yes, I see your point. If you want to find sucking cock enjoyable, do it with a tongue in your snatch. :)