They definitely dont suck each other off.
They give each other everything they need—except blowjobs. Cecilie Arcurs / Getty Images

I'm loath to give this more coverage (because it's already received a lot of fucking coverage), but a new study has concluded straight ladies don't have enough to worry about. Following up an extremely bad week for women, academics at the Universities of Winchester and Bedfordshire decided the new big threat to straight relationships is the—OhGodDoWeHaveToKeepUsingThisWord—Bromance.

On the study:

Researchers interviewed 30 undergraduate straight men and found that they felt less judged by their bromances than by their girlfriends, and that it was easier for them to overcome conflicts and express their emotions in their bromances than in their romances.

Adam White, a doctoral researcher at the University of Winchester and a lecturer in Sport and Physical Education at the University of Bedforshire School of Sport Science and Physical Activity, said: "Unfortunately, while positive for men, this may disadvantage girlfriends and traditional relationships which are seen as having more pressures and regulation. These men told us how they would often prioritise their bromantic relations over their romances. So, if guys can now get all of the benefits from their bromances, it reduces male to female relations to sex."

To summarize, 30 undergrad straight dudes feel less judged by their [VOMIT] bromances than their girlfriends, and now we live in a less homophobic future where men can love up on each other and women are only needed for sex. Men's emotional needs are so minimal they can be entirely fulfilled by a friendly bro with great listening skills.

The study, "Privileging the Bromance: A Critical Appraisal of Romantic and Bromantic Relationships," published in the doesn't this sound like a men's rights journal Men and Masculinities, is some overgeneralized bullshit, but overgeneralized bullshit that raises a crucial follow-up question: What's the working definition of a bromance?

Is a bromance limited to straight bros? Can homos be bromantic? Is a bromance the same as a passionate friendship between women? Does a bromance involve cuddling?