Check out the full Lit Crawl schedule, which includes Eileen Myles reading from her new dog memoir.
Check out the full Lit Crawl schedule, which includes Eileen Myles reading from her new dog memoir. God I hope she wears these glasses. Alberto E. Rodriguez / Staff

My objections to literary crawls have been well-documented. It's a FOMO-inducing, stream-crossing, anxiety-riddled event that's bad for writers ("Oh, I got the same time slot as Eileen Myles? Glad I drove all the way up here from Oregon..."), bad for readers ("Sry, can't buy a book cuz I gotta run to the next thing—byeee!"), bad for audience members ("Wait, it's four fucking hours of readings?"), and only good for the organization that trademarked the term "Lit Crawl."

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But it's also a night that brings tons of people together to get sloshed and celebrate writing, which doesn't happen enough. So! To help you navigate the three dozen events happening simultaneously over the course of four hours all the way from First Hill to Capitol Hill, I offer you three routes.

The Best Route On Capitol Hill

6:00 p.m. Trust Issues Podcast Live Taping @ The Runaway

Seattle's best reporters, Heidi Groover and Sydney Brownstone, write about real news 12 hours per day, 6 days per week. But when they get a little time to themselves, they like to think about the news that's too real to print. I mean, have you guys heard about a little group called the Fapstronauts? Or that Alex Jones is actually a CIA shill? Or that actually there is proof that the Earth is flat? No? Then subscribe to Trust Issues, or else die in darkness.

7:00 p.m. Eileen Myles @ Elliott Bay Books

One of America's greatest living poets (read "Peanut Butter" if you don't believe me) is out with a dog memoir called Afterglow. It's about her relationship with her pitbull, Rosie, but like all things Myles it's about everything else in the world, too. My colleague Sean Nelson said it best: "The time we spend with Myles and Rosie—as with all time spent in or around love—reframes a universe deeply in need of reframing."

8:00 p.m. An Evening with Anastacia-Reneé @ Capitol Hill Cider

Seattle's newly minted Civic Poet and author of three books (that she published this year) has this time slot all to herself. Will she read her lesbian erotica? Will she read from (v.), which Robert Lashley called a "radical poetic triumph" in his review? Yes, she will likely do both of those things. Also, look forward to the Q & A with Reagan Jackson.

9:00 p.m. Sarah Galvin, Robert Lashley, Timmy Straw @ The Pine Box

Sarah Galvin is America's funniest living poet, and her recent consideration of the consequences of rapid development in her poems have added a municipal dimension to her work. And this is no surprise, but the poems from Robert Lashley's latest poetry collection, Up South, are fucking dope. Do not miss this reading.

If you havent dug into the work of Seattle Civic Poet Anastacia-Renee, her Lit Crawl reading will be a good place to start.
If you haven't checked out Seattle Civic Poet Anastacia-Renee, now would be a good time to start. STANTON STEPHENS

The Best Route On Capitol Hill That Includes Mostly Prose

6:00 p.m. Harvest: Till Writers Reading @ Highline

Tara Atkinson will read from her new and very good novella, Boyfriends. Former owner of the beloved indie book store Pilot Books, Summer Karaskova, will read her hilarious poetry based on 1980s action movies. And Rachel Kessler, who is 1/2 of the Vis-a-Vis Society and fine poet/artist/teacher in her own right, will do whatever she wants.

7:00 p.m. Fragmented Transmissions: Lyric and Hybrid Essays @ Zoë Events

Lyric and/or fragmented essays can be extremely tedious due to lack of connective tissue, but when they're done right there's nothing I'd rather read. I haven't read the work of any of the women on this line-up, but I'm excited to see what they'll do with the form: Meredith Clark, Katie Ellison, Leslie Frank, and Molly Thornton.

8:00 p.m. Ever-Shifting Diaspora: The Writers of Kundiman @ Barca

Interested to hear short story writer and doula Jordan Alam. According to her website, she's working on a new novel, which we might get to hear tonight. The other readers are poets: Made at Hugo House fellow Shankar Narayan, Neil Aitken, Kale Kim, and Troy Osaki.

9:00 p.m. True Stories of #FML @ Capitol Hill Cider

You're here to hear nonfiction about the fucked up moments in Kristen Millares Young's life and Sasha LaPointe's life. Young is a seasoned journalist who currently serves as chair of the board for InvestigateWest, a kind of a mercenary investigative team for Washington publications. Her fiction is well-observed and immersive, as you can see in this excerpt from her novel, Subduction. LaPointe is a Nooksack writer fresh out of her MFA from The Institute of American Indian Arts. She's published several good essays and poems.

A map full of ghost bars.
A map full of ghost bars. Ghosts of Seattle Past

The Best Route On First Hill

6:00 p.m. Seattle Urban Book Expo (S.U.B.E.) Author Showcase @ Hugo House

Jeffrey Lee Cheatham II hosts and reads along with three other writers of color: Kristin Alana, Kamari Bright, Natasha Rivers.

7:00 p.m. Reading Beyond Seattle @ Hugo House

The premise for this reading is that there are places outside of Seattle that demand our attention. Making that case will be Seattle Met's Hayat Norimine (who is from eastern Washington), poet Elaina Ellis (from up in Bellingham), and Tacoma's Jackie Fender.

8:00 p.m. Ghosts of Seattle Past @ Sorrento Hotel

Ghosts of Seattle Past is that gorgeous art book edited by Jaimee Garbacik (and that cheap, indispensable local people's history published by Chin Music Press) about all the places Seattle has lost to change. Chin Music Press editor Cali Kopczick will talk to Graham Isaac, Ma'Chell Duma, and Adrian Ryan about the deaths of the Paradox Theater, Foxxxes Cabaret, and Elite Tavern, respectively.

9:00 p.m. How to Dress for Murder @ Hugo House

Rosemarie and Vince Keenan will put you in the spirit of the season with their Hollywood murder mysteries.

The party is unlikely to get this cool, but you never know.
The party is unlikely to get this cool, but you never know. KELLY O

Don't Forget the Afterparty

If you have any energy after all that, the Lit Crawl After-Party @ Zoë Events will run from 10:00 p.m. to 12:00 a.m.