No, Southwest Airlines. No no. No.

Comments

If you don't like the music, why don't you put on your headphones and shut the fuck up?

B-LO on October 27, 2017 at 3:35 PM

Echoing #1, honestly who in the fuck doesn't have noise-isolating earbuds nowadays? You can buy a pair at Ross for $2.99. Note: not the Bose $600 noise cancelling headphones, but just earbuds with rubber shields that ya jam in your ear holes. They work remarkably well.

They go in before I board, and stay in until I'm exiting, er, "deplaning." I like to take them out just prior to stepping off the plane so I can hear the stewardess wish me "buh bye now."

Idiot Sawant on October 27, 2017 at 3:52 PM

As someone with sensory issues, OMG! And thank you, Dan, for pointing this out. I always take (or at least try to take) my earbuds with me, but this means I need to be extra-vigilant about remembering.

Gamebird on October 27, 2017 at 3:59 PM

We need United style enforcement of those rules.

muffy on October 27, 2017 at 4:06 PM

@1/2:

But how well do they work in a small, confined space where you're probably no more than 100 feet from the sound of a live, amplified music performance that is being funneled straight at you? Get back to us when you've done some research on that, and let us know, m'kay?

COMTE on October 27, 2017 at 4:07 PM

@5, very well? I use earplugs at all live music performances, and have even used my earbuds in situations where I lacked plugs. They work great. The science behind it isn't all that complex: ya block noise from entering your ear holes with some kind of fucking material, in the earbud's case rubber and plastic.

Are you Dan Savage's personal White Knight stalker/defender extraordinaire, or something?

Idiot Sawant on October 27, 2017 at 4:24 PM

Some of us have odd-shaped ear canals that don’t take well to having hard chunks of rubber shoved into them. And yeah I can go buy more expensive ones that are custom made, or drag around cans that look ridiculous on a man of my advanced years, or there can be some last fucking vestige of unmolested public space where it’s not necessarily to tune out whatever horrible shit is being played at me.

schmacky on October 27, 2017 at 4:53 PM

It's not about whether you could block it if you wanted to (and many people can hear music perfectly well through earplugs; it's muted, but you still hear it). It's about the escalation of noise pollution in our world. As Dan points out, increasing numbers of public spaces now have music playing by default. Why? Most people who want music have iPhones or the equivalent. To everyone else, it's an irritation. It's similar to light pollution. Both are gradually changing our public spaces until the ability to enjoy somewhere dark and quiet--which should be easy, and is certainly something we're designed for naturally--becomes a class issue. Only people with the money for big isolated housing and jobs with offices they control themselves can manage it.

Ditto TVs everywhere. I take a book when I expect to wait somewhere (doctor's office, auto repair stuff). If there's TV blaring or music playing, I can't read. What's the point?

I'm with Dan; it's awful, and it should stop.

ciods on October 27, 2017 at 5:05 PM

This sounds even more annoying than the TV commercials that the damn gas pumps now show. Not to mention that not everyone wants to listen to country (an assumption based on the record label involved).

dvs99 on October 27, 2017 at 5:14 PM

Fake libertarians are against affordable health care due to their constitution fetish, yet mandatory music in an airplane is a passenger’s problem.

CMDwannabe on October 27, 2017 at 5:34 PM

In total agreement with rules 1 and 3, but I completely object to rule 2. For the curious the view from 35000 ft is often captivating, particularly if one has any intrest in geology, ecology, land use, urban planning, etc. I fly fairly often, about once or twice a month, yet I still feel regret when my work is too pressing to enjoy the view. It's unfortunate that most have become so jaded that flight has lost all majesty and become merely an ordeal to endure.

wave_collapse on October 27, 2017 at 5:36 PM

If only you had the ability to fly a different airline, and weren't forced to take Southwest! That sounds too good to be true - like a libertarian paradise.

Idiot Sawant on October 27, 2017 at 5:54 PM

Rule #4: middle seat gets both armrests

NoSpin on October 27, 2017 at 5:59 PM

@7 I thought I was the only one who can't tolerate ear buds! After 5 minutes, I have a headache. If I don't have an ear loop, I can't and don't listen to tunes.

Atl@Sea on October 27, 2017 at 6:43 PM

If that happened to me I'd take out a pack of cigarettes and smoke until they stopped.

Urgutha Forka on October 27, 2017 at 8:19 PM

I'm fine with it as long it is clear when I'm making a reservation: price, which seats, how many connections, any stupidity like musicians playing on board. And Nashville?!? Sorry, I don't have a gun, a truck, nor a CBF.

@14: arm-rests are 50-50. Middle seats are the reward for booking late.

DAVIDinKENAI on October 27, 2017 at 8:21 PM

Noooooooooooo!
🙉

SNJ-RN on October 27, 2017 at 8:42 PM

Live music on a plane is a TERRIBLE idea. You folks suggesting earplugs as a solution are insane. The fact that we are even having this conversation about whether everyone should just plug their ears if they don't want to hear it just shows how far we have has fallen as a species.

Jude Fawley on October 27, 2017 at 8:43 PM

Thank you, Dan. Now, if you can keep the flight attendants and pilots from constantly blaring their unnecessary drivel over the intercom, flights would be so much more pleasant. And if you could use your power to quarantine people with young children in the back few rows, life really would be complete. And while you’re at it, please make all of the manspreaders sit next to each other.

Thanks!!! :)

Escapee from S. Idaho on October 27, 2017 at 9:03 PM

@6 wait, what? You wear earplugs and earbuds at live music performances? You go to live performances in order to not hear any music?

If you are saying that you use earplugs or buds in order for the music not to be deafening, that's something different.

A three dollar earbud that actually keeps a person from hearing live music played nearby would be quite the thing, all right. The reason earbuds are so available is that with them, people can listen to the music they choose to listen to, without subjecting everyone else around to it. It's a good system, looks like Southwest Airlines should try it.

agony on October 27, 2017 at 9:14 PM

@2 I love that you dropped Ross like that is a store people commonly visit. Last time I heard about someone entering a Ross it was my mom 15 years ago. It does fit very well with my image of you.

eeeeee on October 27, 2017 at 10:20 PM

While we're at it, can someone get Alaska Airlines to SHUT THE FUCK UP with their goddamn in-flight credit card announcements? You think there's anyone on that flight that doesn't already have one of your fucking cards?

I Got Nuthin' on October 27, 2017 at 10:23 PM

schmacky and ciods have nailed it @7 and 8. It's not that wearing earplugs or earbuds isn't a sort-of-good coping mechanism (and add me to the list of people who get extremely uncomfortable with standard, affordable ear-inserted things); it's the degradation of spaces over which we have no control. I've yet to hear hold-music that wasn't overly-amplified to the point where it literally hurts my ears. I've tried getting the volume adjusted, once going so far as to wait on hold for more than 20 minutes (ironically, as the hold-music blared) at the home office of CVS drugstore, so I could complain and so someone could look into the matter and decide if volume adjustments needed to be made--remotely, because no one individual store can set things like its own voicemail's hold-music's volume, it turns out--only to never hear a reduction in volume.

Leave us alone and stop assaulting our ears.

nocutename on October 28, 2017 at 4:45 AM

Especially now, when it is so easy for those who want to listen to music to do so.

I'm actually a big fan of live music, even live music that I haven't specifically looked for - street musicians, say - and the incidental insertion of music into my life is usually reasonably welcome. I'm happy to hear the ice cream truck, and even the blare out of an open car window.

But being stuck in a small space for a long period of time with no way to escape music that I have not chosen, while already stressed from travel - that seems to have no upside. And if you think crying babies on a plane are annoying, try a tired baby that can't sleep at all because of the live band.

agony on October 28, 2017 at 6:54 AM

Yup, ditto agony, nocutename and Dan. It's not the fact of live music (I like that on the subway, in the park) it's the fact of not being able to get away. No inside the train, No inside the plane. Especially since those of us that fly frequently (and business travelers are a huge part of their revenue) see the time as work hours or a chance to sleep. The absolutely last thing I want is something very loud and distracting.

Also maybe I haven't discovered the sorts of earplugs you guys are talking about, but I've never used any that did anything more than lower the volume of the sound around me. You guys are saying there are earplugs that make everything silent? Where? Seriously asking.

EmmaLiz on October 28, 2017 at 10:03 AM

Close the window shade??? Heck no, I got that window seat so I can gaze out over the flyover states and softly contemplate existence until I feel tiny and insignificant and become overwhelmed at the magnitude of the world

Dade on October 28, 2017 at 10:05 AM

@21

Yes at live performances, I wear earplugs, and this is a common practice, especially among musicians and people who frequent shows. It prevents hearing loss and damage. Most of us who have been in music scenes have hearing damage from not wearing them when we were young.

And as for muting the show, again I have no idea what sorts of earplugs you guys are using (and I'd like to know!) but the little cheap foamy ones that you can get for a couple bucks at any drug store do not silence the show. It simply reduces the volume. If you have some existing hearing damage or ear sensitivity, it actually makes the music sound CLEARER because you don't get that rattle or buzzing sound when they hit certain notes and volumes.

EmmaLiz on October 28, 2017 at 10:07 AM

@6:

Apparently you have some magic 100% noise-cancelling earplugs that literally everyone else on this comment thread would simply LOVE to know about. Care to share the name of these amazing they-can-silence-the-sound-of-a-roaring-freight-train-while-standing-right-next-to-it devices, so we can all enjoy the sheer bliss of completely shutting out the din and caterwauling of the world around us?

COMTE on October 28, 2017 at 10:35 AM

"Noise cancelling" headphones do a good job at cancelling...noise. As in, the white noise of HVAC or engine noise--basically continual drones. Much as many folks are tempted to label country music as "noise", it doesn't fit the sonic profile that "noise cancelling" technology works on. To block that out, you'd want old-fashioned earplugs, but that's only going to knock it down 20dB or so.

tiktok on October 28, 2017 at 3:32 PM

From the article: "as Southwest passengers hope that their flight will be one of the lucky ones to feature a sure-to-go-viral performance"

Wow, paid advertising. Cringeworthy shilling right there. God knows everyone just wants their lives to go viral, right? I know I look my best while flying, gosh.

A big problem here is this expectation that the surprise live performance is sought after by Southwest travelers everywhere. I didn't know this existed until today and I've frequently flown with Southwest. But if a surprise country music experience is now threatened, I definitely won't choose them again. That's scary. I don't want that in my life.

Harimad on October 28, 2017 at 7:06 PM

Absolutely correct!! (But also what 9 and 11 said). Remember folks, include in your Yelp, Agoda, Trip Advisor, Zomato, Facebook etc review whether or not the place has effing music playing or TVs everywhere. Nothing says “no class” like a restaurant that plays music - particularly if it’s pop music.

Abc123bbU-n-Me on October 29, 2017 at 12:00 AM

Adding #4 to the rules: No one wants to smell you. Thoroughly wash beforehand, wear clean clothes and unscented antiperspirant/deodorant, pass on the perfumes, colognes, and scented body lotions/sprays, and keep your socks on.

Traffic Spiral on October 29, 2017 at 12:47 AM

@11 and @27

Dan has been harping on the window shade rule for years.

For years, Dan has been dead wrong.

Most of us don't have jobs that regularly require us to hop around the continent from cable show to cable show. Most of us aren't as jaded as you are. Many us still appreciate the one thing about air travel that can bring joy: The view.

Especially when a drink is involved.

You're correct that these shows are a terrible idea, though.

TwitterEgg on October 29, 2017 at 12:48 AM

TwitterEgg 34: I agree on the windows - especially because everyone gets handed a sleep mask. You can block out light easier than sound, and looking out the window is one of the few plus's of air travel.

Traffic Spiral on October 29, 2017 at 1:47 AM

@35 - "Everyone gets handed a sleep mask"? What kind of Utopia Airlines are you flying with?

sanguisuga on October 29, 2017 at 10:43 AM

Where is the orchestra pit located on a 737?

raindrop on October 29, 2017 at 3:02 PM

@36 Maybe international flights? British Airways? Maybe you can request one politely from most airlines but most people don't bother to? I'm speculating here. You can always bring your own, of course, and let the non-jaded people enjoy the view.

TwitterEgg on October 29, 2017 at 4:37 PM

I'm ambivalent on the window shade thing. But Dan's points 1 and 3 are rock solid.

originalcinner on October 29, 2017 at 5:26 PM

"Noise canceling" headphones can't block the frequencies driving into your body from a close-up live act.

undead ayn rand on October 29, 2017 at 7:50 PM

The only thing similar that comes to mind is when they were playing on the train in Some Like it Hot.

raindrop on October 30, 2017 at 12:21 AM

Everyone should take into account that the baseline level of sound is a robust 85 Decibels.

Sportlandia on October 30, 2017 at 2:21 PM

No, Southwest Airlines. No no. No.

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