Sushi pillow is damned tempting, but I resist!

Anyone stupid enough to allow Amazon to do this deserves everything they get - raped, robbed, murdered. It's time for the stupid people in this country to be culled. All the better if they are wealthy and white.

@2
Nice, but I see that you forgot to use caps lock. It is the perfect thing for a crazed rant. You will find it conveniently located on the left side of your keyboard. Just a push of the button and all of your words become loud and unhinged. I hope that this was helpful!

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Next Up: Making a word salad at home? - 10 helpful tips!

Rape! Murder!

If someone wants to rape and rob and murder you, do you think your door lock is stopping them? If someone wants to get through your door, they will. If a delivery driver wants to steal, they will steal. If a car thief wants your car, they will get it. If a bike thief wants your bike, they will have your bike. If someone wants to read your email, they will read your email. It has always been thus.

The reason this (probably) hasn't already happened to you is that these events are rare to begin with, and the odds are greater that they picked the guy who didn't even lock his bike, or whose front door is wide open all day, or who leaves his car running with the keys in it. But if they decide that they would rather get you, they'll get you. Or maybe you're that guy whose password is "password", leaves his key under the mat or above the sun visor . Oy.

If The Stranger had a serious interest in reporting on the latest techo gizmos, I could understand the obsession with this (slightly) new kind of smart door lock Amazon has. But you guys don't follow the latest tech. The only reason you care about this stupid thing is you think you can whip up a lot of hysteria over this "new" security threat.

I think buying this smart lock is dumb but I think buying any bleeding edge technology is dumb, and I don't find it all that entertaining. The guys who do buy these things do it because it *is* entertaining and interesting to them, just like the guys who run out and buy the newest hottest music or see every new indie film you've never heard of. A lot of it is crap, and they know that, but it's their fucking hobby. At least their hobby isn't guns or groping women. Leave them alone. Priorities!

A few people trying this new-ish thing will not change the world, any more than a few people trying that drone delivery thing will change the world, or a few people buying a Tesla. Some of these new-ish things will mature and catch on and perhaps a little bit of change will occur. Most of them will be forgotten.

Keep in mind that when you shop at a brick and mortar store, about 25% of the markup baked into the price you pay covers losses from shoplifting and employee pilfering. When you order online (I hope you compare prices for every item you get at Amazon, because you really should), the added cost for these losses is only a few percent, at most.

Calm the fuck down.

Amazon Key is a stupid stupid idea. That sushi pillow is awesome. I nearly bought it, but then decided the croissant neck pillow was something I needed even more.