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Comments
Here's another related one: "amplification"
These men weren't making "whoops, I didn't realize that could possibly be harrassment!" comments to their bosses or their CEOs or their big-kahuna clients/donors/investors. Nope, they were "accidentally" brushing up against colleagues or people below them on the corporate ladder. They were presenting their bathrobe-clad bodies to people with less power. They were doing these things without repercussions because hey, men have always grabbed their secretary's ass (but not their boss's ass or their boss's wife's ass) and gotten away with it.
So spare me the man tears and quit it with the "it's so HARD these days to know how to behave!" bullshit. You know how to behave. You're just scared that you're going to get called out for some shitty behavior so you're trying to create plausible deniability.
Thanks for re-re-re-re traumatizing me. I totally needed yet another reminder of how I was sexually assaulted. It was crucial for me to be reminded that the type of sexual assault I suffered didn't exist as a category until 2012(female to male attempted rape), the failed attempts at treatment*, the fact that even Dan Savage sees experiences like mine as an inconvenient rounding error that are totally acceptable to brush aside. It's actually good that the only way for me to not have what happened to me shoved in my face would be to go into a cabin in the woods, I was getting too uppity anyway.
*Services for men that were sexually assaulted are non-existent and it is extremely rare that people will actually believe that it can happen at all, much less to you
Sincerely,
Anon
P.S.- No, you don't know what it's like. If it happened to you there is an entire infrastructure dedicated to give you help, support, and understanding. You have a side that you are a part of. You aren't an enemy of all because you paid the price of reason and proper conduct.
For those who are unlear a decent rule of thumb would be, if you wouldn't want an unknown man to do it to you then don't do it to her. Pretty simple.
Every time I've been sexually harassed at work -- starting 44 years ago, yup, it's been someone with more power.
I defied them, refused to take it -- even when I was threatened with being fired.
I'm 67, and worked in a public place -- and was sexually harassed there by complete strangers, their power being larger younger men when I was alone.
One, exposed himself to me -- and the police wouldn't arrest him, because it was a misdemeanor, they didn't witness.
I agreed to perform a Citizen's Arrest, but the cops didn't want to do the paperwork, or the courttime, I guess.
So they hauled him off to a psych exam and 3 day observation.
And I had to worry he'd be back in four days.
Maybe they gave him a talking to, because he didn't return -- but I wonder if the next time he will rape.