White Christmas: We got snow on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day — and we weren't the only part of the county that did. So Jesus is real, climate change is a hoax, and Danny Kaye, Bing Crosby, Rosemary Clooney, and Vera-Ellen are all smiling at us from heaven. (More snow expected tomorrow!)
Black Christmas: Just as real as the white one...
Kwanzaa is a made up holiday, unlike Christmas, which the sun and moon celebrated before Earth had any people on it.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) December 26, 2017
2018: It's On, Bitches: "The Democrats are not just filing to run in districts where Mrs. Clinton performed well," the New York Times reports. They are also running for conservative seats that were uncontested in 2016 and where Republicans remain heavy favorites, in states like Texas, Arkansas and Nebraska." The story goes on to cite Doug Jones' successful campaign in Alabama — Jones became the first Democrat elected to the U.S. Senate in Alabama in more than 25 years — and Jon Ossoff's unsuccessful effort to take a house seat in Georgia. Republicans, pundits, and dishonest far-left underminers/useful idiots pointed to Ossoff's loss at the time of his defeat as a terrible sign for Democrats. But the fact that Ossoff came within three percentage points of taking what for decades had been a safe Republican seat was a good and hopeful sign. The blue wave is coming.
Riding the Wave: The Urbanist lays out the pro-transit, pro-urban infrastructure, pro-smart-growth plan that should be a part of the 2018 Democratic agenda.
Rightwingers Who Stood Up to Trump: The Guardian has a very short list — five whole names! — but at least three of the conservatives cited don't belong on the list. Jeff Flake bravely ran away (after voting with Trump 90% of the time), Susan Collins sold her country out for a handful of
magic tragic beans (promises from Mitch McConnell), John "Thumbs Down" McCain voted to gut health care in the end, and so long as Shep Smith is taking a paycheck from Fox News, he's complicit. That leaves just one. Click through to find out who it is.
Couple Who Stood Up to Hate: This is the saddest goddamn story.
And This Is Dumbest Goddamn Story: "In a pro-Trump town, they never stopped saying 'Merry Christmas,'" the Washington Post "reported" on Christmas Eve. "It offends me to see at the stores, where they just do ‘Happy Holidays’ or ‘Seasons Greetings. It should be ‘Merry Christmas," one quoted Trump supporter told the Washington Post. Ahem. Also, too: no one ever stopped saying Merry Christmas or tried to prevent anyone from saying Merry Christmas. Way to buy Buying into Trump's bullshit, Washington Post. Sometimes democracy dies in derpness. (Trump didn't win because of economic anxiety or because "happy holidays" gave small town Americans the sadz. This is why he won.)
Trump Is the Dumbest Goddamn President: UK officials are reportedly pressuring Prince Harry not to invite his buddy Barack Obama to his upcoming wedding because it'll piss off the toddler-in-chief. If our former black president gets an invite to the royal wedding and our crazy racist president doesn't, it'll set off a "row" and set back the US/UK relationship. This has only been reported in The Sun, a UK tabloid, so grain of salt.
Not All Heroes Wear Capes: "A psychologist who works for the Los Angeles Department of Mental Health has come forward as the guy who made our Christmas weekends just a bit brighter by sending a gift-wrapped box of horse manure to Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin," Slate reports. Robert Strong is his name, he expects to lose his job, and he says he "borrowed" the horse poop from a friend. “In the long run, if we don’t do stuff like this, what are we going to have left?”, Strong said in an interview on an LA radio station.
Grateful for this great Christmas honor from the Salt Lake Tribune. For the record, I voted for @SpencerJCox and @rudygobert27. #utpol pic.twitter.com/7iFOBK6TWf
— Orrin Hatch (@OrrinHatch) December 25, 2017
Down the Hatch: Clueless (but powerful) old white guy clueless (but powerful). Sen. Orin Hatch saw the headline — "Orrin Hatch is Utahn of the Year" — and tweeted out his appreciation without bothering to read the article. Among the reasons the editors of the Salt Lake Tribune named Hatch the Utahn of the year: "His utter lack of integrity that rises from his unquenchable thirst for power."
A Most Extraordinary Relationship: First they were cruelly separated from their balls (both are geldings), now they've been cruelly separated from each other. A gay love story for horse lovers and castration fetishists.
Obstruction of Justice: Trump spent his Christmas break attacking the FBI in hopes of undermining the Mueller investigation — a tactic that the entire "party of law and order" has gotten behind — but one former Bush administration official thinks this is making Mueller's job easier. And this tweet from lying sack of grits Sarah Huckabee Sanders hasn't aged well...
Spilling the Bubble Tea: Housing prices in Seattle continue to climb faster than any other city in America. "Home prices nationally rose 6.2 percent, three times the rate of inflation and the biggest increase in more than three years," the Seattle Times reports. "Even so, Seattle home costs grew twice as fast as the U.S. average." Las Vegas is #2, and Portland dropped out of the top five. It's a bubble, all bubbles ultimately pop, but the Seattle Times fantasizes about a gradual cool down.
Armpits of the Day: A Tuesday Morning News fan wrote in to let me know there's a #gayarmpit hashtag on Twitter.
Headline of the Day: "Adulteress Begins Role As US Ambassador To Vatican" (JoeMyGod)
$10,000,000 Could Be Yours: Do you where the thirteen artworks stolen from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston in 1990 are? The $10 million reward could be yours — but act fast, offer expires on January 1, 2018.
Flying Makes Us Nuts: We get itchy, weepy, spacey, crazy, and there — eventually — and psychologists are trying to figure out why. "An emerging body of research is suggesting that soaring 35,000ft (10km) above the ground inside a sealed metal tube can do strange things to our minds, altering our mood, changing how our senses work and even making us itch more," the BBC reports.