Police Reports Illustrated: Pizza Lover Gets Trashy

Comments

1
Glad this isn't Hot Mama's Pizza.
2
Who the fuck puts sriracha on a pizza?
3
@2: Exactly. Police officers only carry one set of handcuffs, though. It's a shame.
4
Well, I probably would've thrown a can at her head too then!
5
@2,@3: Might be excellent on just a cheese pizza with thin crust.
6
El Mundo Esta Loco, Loco, Loco, Loco........
@2 COMTE: "Who puts sriracha on a pizza?" and @3 Knat: "Police officers carry only one set of handcuffs, though. It's a shame." I nominate you both in a tie for the winners of this thread. Each of you should get a free pizza and a beer--just don't get it from there.
7
I asked a cop once about how many sets of handcuffs they carry, and he confirmed that it is indeed just one. But then he added that he's got a whole slew of bullets in his gun, should he need to deal with a crowd.
8
@7 originalcinner: I find it sad that a cop made immediate reference to his ammo supply for dealing with a crowd situation, after admitting to having only one pair of handcuffs. It sounds like police departments have evolved into a "kill or be killed" mentality.
9
As the sriracha epidemic strangles America the SPD focuses instead on on garbage can vigilantism.
10
Sriracha isn't something I would normally put on a pizza, but it's just a combination of ingredients that are generally already considered pizza ingredients. It's mostly a paste of chili peppers and vinegar, isn't it? If you have no objection to people sprinkling pepper flakes onto their slices or ordering something with marinated artichoke hearts, then why would you object to sriracha on a pizza?
11
@10: Because they aren't culinary imaginative I suppose.
12
@2 Who doesn't put Sri Racha on Pizza?
13
@12: I don't, nor am I a rabid garbage can throwing maniac when ordering a pizza.
14
@7 -- To be fair, I'm not sure what good more than one pair of handcuffs would do. If you have more criminals than cops, at least one guy is going to escape (assuming they try and flee). You don't have to use handcuffs to arrest someone if they don't resist (which means a cop could arrest a crowd of people without handcuffs).

The bullets comment was typical macho cop bullshit though. Not exactly a good thing to say, even if he meant nothing by it.
15
When it came out I thought this was a silly gimmick, but I can see how one would have been really helpful here.
16
@3 Solution to the one-handcuff problem: Release the justifiable trash-can-whacker and cuff the real criminal.
17
@7 Don't they have a whole slew of zip-tie cuffs to supplement the metal ones? Maybe in the car?