Is it time to bring back kayaktivists?
Is it time to bring back kayaktivists? Alex Garland

The reboot no one asked for: Trump is bringing back off-shore drilling to nearly all U.S. coastal waters. As if anyone doubted it, this pretty much confirms Trump doesn’t give two shits about the environment. The first hint was probably appointing absolute-fucking-idiot (official title) Scott Pruitt to the EPA, a climate change denier who tried to legally block EPA actions 26 times (among other things). This newest action places Trump firmly on the side of energy companies interests. Coastal states will attempt to resist this new plan. Man, five days in and 2018 is really not pulling any punches.

Coastal states, as you probably guessed, include Washington: where there has been immediate backlash. Within the coastal areas of Washington and Oregon there are about 400 million gallons of crude oil reserves. This is nothing to write home about — there are an estimated 4.59 billion gallons in the Atlantic Ocean and 26.61 billion gallons off the coast of Alaska. Still, Washington remains in the conversation. The Olympic Coast National Marine Sanctuary apparently has potential of having or producing oil. Even though it’s a protected area, that could change. It has already been “nominated for inclusion” by the Interior Department despite its protections. Promising.

Florida shocked to discover seasons exist: The onslaught of winter weather along the eastern seaboard has had some casualties — the shattered remains of how Florida sees the world.

Just watch this man discover what happens when water gets “pretty darn” (technical term) cold:


Florida’s animal residents are also shocked: Literally. Iguanas have been falling out of trees because when it dips below 50 degrees they become sluggish. The cold-blooded creatures aren’t used to the cold weather, their bodies literally shut down. Sea turtles react similarly and, cold-shocked, have been washing up on beaches. Meanwhile, manatees are huddling for warmth in canals near power plants. For now, Florida will have to mind the cold, the threat of snow, and raining iguanas.


Rise and shine Seattle: Local fire departments have been busy bees this morning while you all caught those last couple of Zs.

In the University District: an abandoned house on the 56th block of Brooklyn Ave caught fire at around 5:30 a.m. Crews are still battling the blaze.



In Bellevue: a first floor apartment building caught fire and one adult patient is still being treated.



Bad ass woman starts the New Year off by: taking down some idiot wielding a machete. Lillian Germond fought for her life when she was attacked by a man with a machete on New Year’s Day. She turned the tables on him, utilizing her 10 years of childhood self defense training. The man begged for mercy, “Please stop hitting me. This was my first time doing this,” according to Germond’s boyfriend who ganged up on the attacker when Germond called for help. There was no first-day sympathy for the assailant who now sits in King County jail on $100,000 bail.

That Trump exposé by Michael Wolff hits stores today: and everyone and their mother is talking about it. It was like a new Harry Potter book that no one had heard about until five days ago had it’s midnight release last night. Well, not quite that degree of hype but people still lined up to get their copy of “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.” Wolff swears by his reporting in the book and, as expected, Trump & Co are fuming.


Hot takes aside, form your own opinion about the book: Try some of these excerpts on for size that Katy Tur from NBC has been tweeting:



Seattle man wants $125,000 from Bank of America and so do I: Except, he actually has grounds for it. John Matronic’s grandfather gave him a bond in 1985 from the now non-existent Rainier Bank, which was consumed by Bank of America in 1992. The $20,135.85, now worth $125,000, wasn’t honored by Bank of America and Matronic is suing.

Annnnd now the host of Jeopardy, Alex Trebek: had brain surgery. There’s nothing to worry about, don’t stress out. Alex, 77, bumped his head and had minor brain surgery (even if “brain surgery” and “minor” never seem like a natural combo) for a subdural hematoma, that’s all. Why are you worried? I'm not worried. America’s favorite Canadian grandpa and fearless captain of gameshow trivia is fine, or so he assured everyone in an incredibly calm and probably downplayed Facebook video. For now, let us rejoice that the Alex hasn’t been claimed by the Celebrity Grim Reaper and he never will be. Because if he ever dies I’m not sure how humanity will cope (when I say humanity I mostly mean me, but I can’t be alone in this, right?).