Sorry Coachella bros, all the weed in the world could not make you look cool.
Sorry Coachella bros, all the weed in the world could not make you look cool. MATT COWAN VIA GETTY IMAGES

Coachella sounds like it’s going to be expensive, disappointing, and most terrible of all—weed free, despite marijuana’s recent change to legal status in the state of California. If you haven’t heard of all the reasons why not to go to Coachella this year, read on below the jump. Also, many people with many reactions to Jeff Sessions's recent killing of the Cole Memo.

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Coachella Sucks for So Many Reasons

The most important one is the fact that the climate-change denying billionaire owner of the festival, Philip Anschutz, continues to donate big bucks to pro-gun, anti-gay Republican candidates and Super PACs. And that their lineup this year is (as described by Stranger music writer Dave Segal) “more middling than ever.

The three-day music festival in Indio, California has upped their sucky-ness quotient by banning the use of marijuana at their festival—even though it’s now legal in the state (as of January 1). In an irony not lost on (maybe dozens?) of stoner-bros, the festival is scheduled to take place the weekend of 4/20. Dude, deprived! (Obviously, tons of people are going to spark up anyway, but still.)

As to why, some people point to the town of Indio, whose constituents voted to place a recreational marijuana ban in their jurisdiction. But Coachella is being held on private property. According to Indio police Sgt. Dan Marshall, weed is against “the policy set forth by concert promoter Goldenvoice.” (Goldenvoice was bought out by Anschutz’s company, AEG.)

In any case, I’ll take a hard pass on Eminem (stoned or straight), thanks.

The Cole Memo Is Dead, and People Have Lots of Feels About It

Many, many feels, which range from the disappointment of Trump-supporting stoners let down by the administration’s stance (what did you expect, though, Damara Kelso who owns Sugar Shack Farms in Eugene, Oregon?), to defiant anger from states like Colorado, Oregon and Washington, all of which are pushing back against Sessions's attack on the status of legal weed in a myriad of ways, to those who think that it may be a good thing for the industry, to those who aren’t worried at all.

Even Trump apologist Roger Stone disapproves of Sessions's move, and stupid Milo (for anyone who still cares what he’s got to say) “feels conflicted” about it.

Finally, there’s this racist shithole (yes, I am reclaiming that word), who defended cannabis prohibition by blaming “the African Americans” and their “genetic disposition” to abuse marijuana:

Disenfranchised Marijuana Voter Case Reaches Supreme Court

This week, the Supreme Court heard a case concerning one Larry Harmon, an occasional voter who opted out of voting in the last few elections, only to find his name purged from the voter rolls after showing up to vote on a marijuana initiative. The state sent him a letter about it, but…you know how that goes.

Anyway, Reuters found at least 144,000 people were removed from Ohio’s voting rolls in recent years, and that “voters have been struck from the rolls in Democratic-leaning neighborhoods at roughly twice the rate as in Republican neighborhoods.”

Newsflash: Moms Use Weed for Health (and Their Own Mental Sanity)

Well, duh. “How else do you deal with eight hours of playing Legos with a two-year-old?” asked my edibles-munching mom-friend. A recent study found stay-at-home moms are “the most likely demographic to use cannabis for sex, self-care.”

Having kids can be stressful, so there’s no shame in that. Leafly even had a piece urging the de-stigmatization of parents who use weed (but it looks like Canadians still don’t really want to get stoned with their families).

And These Parents Are Suing Their Kid's School in Illinois

So she can be allowed to receive medical marijuana while at school to treat her leukemia and epilepsy.

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