Dick.
Dick.

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This is exactly what someone who was fantasizing about the president's penis would say:

Fox News political analyst Brit Hume late Tuesday offered reassurances on Twitter that he is not “having fantasies about Trump’s penis” in a heated debate about the president’s recent physical exam. Hume was in the midst of defending President Trump against claims of a major discrepancy in his physical exam, the details of which were revealed to the public Tuesday. Hume’s defense of the president prompted a producer for The Daily Show to suggest Hume might soon begin “aggressively defending the size of Trump’s penis.” Hume was quick to “assure” social media users he is having no such “fantasies.” “You’ll need to look elsewhere,” he wrote in response to the joke. The unexpected veering off into the topic of Trump’s genitalia came as journalists questioned why Trump’s recent physical exam put his height at 6-foot-3 rather than 6-foot-2, which is the height reportedly listed on his New York driver’s license and in previous reports.

Speaking of the president's height...



And returning to Trump's penis (and, hey, Headline of the Day)...

DONALD TRUMP IS BAD IN BED, PORN STAR STORMY DANIELS CLAIMS, BUT THEY HAD AN AFFAIR FOR 'NEARLY A YEAR' ANYWAY: REPORT

In other news: water is wet, grass is green, president is racist, Fox News is propaganda, and our democracy is collapsing. In other, other news: I'm old enough to remember when a president paying hush money to a porn star right before an election would've been the biggest news story of the year.

In other, other, other news: the governor of Missouri has been accused by one woman — in a secretly recorded conversation with her then-husband — of having tying her up, taking nude photos of her without her consent, and then threatening to release those photos is she ever spoke publicly about their affair. Republicans in Missouri are calling on Governor Eric Greitens to resign. Donald Trump has been accused by more than twenty women of everything from walking into their dressing rooms when they were naked to groping to forced kissing to rape. And every day Lindsey Graham, Tom Cotton, David Perdue, and other Republicans in Washington compete to see who can get their tongue the farthest up Donald Trump's ass.