Savage Love Letter of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up


Whhhhaaaat? How could have thought the members of the Identity Protectorate (or as I call them, the Neu Segregationists) would care about, you know, context. And frankly, I don't think anyone other than 50+ cis white gay catholic men have any right to tell Dan anything, and vice-versa. He better live in a quiet-ass home where nobody tells anyone anything because they can't possibly understand having not lived that person's entire life through their eyes?
Good work readers!
I hope Ms. "ew, it's even worse when they try to cuddle" informs her play partners of these limits beforehand.
Is there a female equivalent of bears? Someone please make one. I'm an enormous female and I need help.
The Last
Big size associations often come across more negatively towards women, or so it seems, same with animals.
Here are some suggestions, assuming we can go beyond bear and a mandatory “mama” added to each and every one of them:
Whale (choose your favorite, a dolphin may also work)
Water buffalo (essentially a “cow,” yet sounds a bit more exotic)
Hypo- often associated as “ugly,” though I think they have a cut ass.

Look for some more animals on the main thread, in case you want to take it there.
"Finally" found a way to contact him? It's at the bottom of every column, FFS! I don't think you're dealing with the brightest bulb on the lesbian tree here, Dan.
Last @ 4 - The term in use nowadays, as far as I know, is BBW, big beautiful woman.

I prefer the Mexican term, gordibuena, from gorda = fat, and buena = hot (in this context). Actually, I prefer its masculine version, gordibueno, but that has nothing to do with your question.

I must add that Mexicans aren't politically correct at all in this respect, and calling someone "gordo/gordito" or "gorda/gordita" is socially acceptable. Quite widespread, in fact.
Re: It All Worked Out

It's wonderful that the letter writer is in a happy relationship with her new girlfriend and that things are good with her ex-husband. *But* presenting divorcing your spouse three weeks into a new relationship as good decision making is nuts. One is full of NRE and everything about the new person is fresh and exciting. You barely notice any flaws while you have long discovered your spouse's.

The letter writer also seems a bit insensitive. Her ex is "getting there" in terms of being happy—after she ended their 11 year relationship for a three week one! And it's only been several months since the divorce and a year since she met her new girlfriend. There's still plenty of time for this to descend into a garbage fire.

I hope it works out for all of them. But things are far from assured that this is a success story.
It all worked out... for you. Your husband got dragged, face first, through the mud at each step of the way and is now alone... with you giving him dating advice. Yeah, it all worked out.
The contact details on the page the outraged Tweeter links to are actually for the editor of a random Canadian local paper....

As others have said, given that being written to is basically Dan's job, it's not exactly hard to find his real contact details (or indeed his Twitter).
@6: She* spelled Radclyffe Hall's name wrong, too - I know it's supposed to be the pun "Radclyffe's Hall", but she's missing the 'e' in "Radclyffe".

*Or maybe something gender-neutral or masculine? Stephen Gordon, Hall's obviously autobiographical character in The Well of Loneliness, identifies as an "invert" and expresses gender in a way we'd probably consider transmasculine today, perhaps butch fifty years ago, and our brave Tweeter clearly identifies with Hall.