Burning Man just wouldn't be Burning Man without flame throwers. The massive art car rally, which attracts noted bohemians like Mark Zuckerberg, Grover Norquist, and my neighbor, Sparkle Whiz, takes place late each summer in Nevada's Black Rock Desert, and, while I've never had the pleasure of going, apparently fire art is an integral part of the BM experience. But how does one master the fire arts without singeing off one's arm hair—or worse? In Seattle, there's a class for that.

Members of the local burner community and Ignition Northwest will be holding a 4-part propane flame effects course this spring that includes an introduction to the fire arts as well as classes on how to build your own flame thrower, known in fire artist parlance as a "poofer." Imagine this, but surrounded by half-naked white people on drugs.

The class begins next week. For more information or to sign up, email comfortnuggets@gmail.com. Seriously.