Recent Savage Love Letters of the Day: A letter writer's gay dads' new boyfriend is a total gay asshat, a pube artist potentially strikes again, another small penis question, and a letter writer's girlfriend squirts and he winds up sleeping in a puddle. And, as always, last week's column and Savage Lovecast.

First, advice for squirters:

I have an extra-squirty girlfriend here who also happens to be a women's health nurse. We find ordinary washable chux pads are way, way cheaper than the $90 Liberator, and you can get a bunch (which you need to do to wash 'em). We like the Medline Sofnit. It's more than half a coffee cup; it's like 2-8 ounces per orgasm, and she might cum a dozen times in a session, so we need some real absorbency.

Regarding the clit:

No, not all female orgasms are clitoral orgasms. Women can and do orgasm from breast feeding and stimulation to other parts of their bodies. See this TED Talk.

Regarding my recent podcast rants and blog posts about presidential dick pics:

Sorry to break it to you, but the foremost impulse of Hannity, the evangelicals, etc. is NOT going to be understanding of future dick picks in the wake of The Donald's peen inevitably being published. These people (including several of my relatives) are deeply, profoundly hypocritical. The minute a non-troglodyte politician has a dick/pussy pictures published, they will be right back on the wife-/husband-shaming, sex negative "what about the children" hand-wringing rants. To these assholes, it matters WHOSE dick/pussy it is.

About LOVE:

WTF your answer to LOVE? She didn't ask if she should marry him? Why on Earth would this advice even come up? And why is he being considered for a psychopath test? Have you considered that he's describing classic signs of depression and anxiety? Basically, he's telling her he's suffering from anxiety and can't feel anything else. Maybe this should be addressed?

You're taking Jon Ronson's advice/aside to LOVE—to marry the boyfriend with the perfect penis—too seriously. She was enthusing about this guy and enthusing about his dick and Jon jokingly urged her to "marry that man!" in the way that a friend might tell you to immediately marry someone you just met because that person's ass spectacular. And good advice regarding depression and anxiety—the columns are a convo and a jumping off point and, as I've often said, some of the best advice (or good additional advice) for my readers can be found in the comments thread. So I hope you added your thoughts for LOVE there!

And another alexithymia comment for LOVE:

Dan! It may help LOVE from last week's column to look up alexithymia. I dated a guy who had it and it was treacherous to actually be on the receiving end up during the breakup. Short definition:

Alexithymia /ˌeɪlɛksəˈθaɪmiə/ is a personality construct characterized by the subclinical inability to identify and describe emotions in the self. The core characteristics of alexithymia are marked dysfunction in emotional awareness, social attachment, and interpersonal relating.

And a forgotten pube artist:

In the March 19 Letter of the Day, you made it sound like this was the first occurrence of Carefully Placed Pubes. But you actually addressed a very similar scenario not too long ago (well, back in October 2005). The answer was pretty similar too, including the same “semen-on-toothbrush” comparison!

As always, #ITMFA:

I love your show. Have been a listener for years! I thought I’d pass this picture onto you. My wife and I were doing an REI trek in New Zealand last month. We had just hiked a brutal 5 miles, uphill, when we finally got to a hut that was built for a place for people to stay if the weather got bad. Swear to god, there was not anything at all for miles. I put down my pack, took off my shoes, and looked across the hill. Look what I saw! We were in the New Zealand Alps! Looks like people here aren’t keen on him either! Keep up the good work, and stop using the term “huuuuuuuuusband.” If I called my wife “wiiiiiiiiife,” she’d slap the shit out of me.

First, let's hope whoever created that arrangement of rocks meant "take out" in the impeachment sense or the 25th amendment sense or escorted from the premises in handcuffs sense. Those are the only senses of "take out" that I endorse. As for "huuuuuuuuusband," the correct spelling is "huzzzben." And maybe my husband likes being called huzzzben? And maybe I like having the shit slapped out of me?

Lastly, regarding a comment about pot use in a post about something else...

So, according to the most recent polling, about 55% of Americans have consumed marijuana at some point. Therefore, according to you, about 45% of Americans are "complete social misfits." The notion that pot usage is nearly universal and synonymous with fundamental social assimilation, is, frankly, a conceit of potheads. Particularly those who are also assholes.

Who are assholes and who prefer assholes, it seems. Thanks for writing!